


Underneath We're The Same

by BlamScilesShipper



Category: Gilmore Girls, Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 17:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 86,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1312603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlamScilesShipper/pseuds/BlamScilesShipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay, so, this is another idea my rp partner Katie gave me. Blaine is Native American, and lives on a fictional reservation outside Raleigh, North Carolina. He's never had sex, let alone a boyfriend, and then he is set up with Kurt and it changes his life. Klaine WAS endgame, but I don't really ship them anymore, so with starting chapter eight, which I am writing now, the endgames will be Blam and Kadam, but it will be rocky for awhile. Puck and Blaine are brothers, also, because I have a weird fascination with them being brothers, omg. Also, I started this fic before Cory passed, (RIP Cory) and so Finn was in the fic. But I end up having Finn pass away, so you are forewarned. But the fic is dark, just fyi. It has Luke Danes & Lorelai Gilmore from Gg too, but no Rory 'cause I'm not a fan of her. That being said it's more set in the glee world even though it's AU than it is Gg.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

_**Disclaimer: The characters of glee and Gilmore girls don’t belong to me. If they did, glee wouldn’t be so messed up, and Lorelai never would have married Christopher. So, my writing partner gave me this idea with the Klaine we were writing the other night. And I haves this want for Puck and Blaine to be brothers. The character of Olivia Gilmore is mine. Her pb is Megan Fox, for any who need a mental picture. If only I had manips with her and Mark, I’d be happy. Anyway, Blaine and Puck are Native American, and they live on a fictional rez outside Raleigh, North Carolina. Blaine’s a teacher at a public school in Raleigh. Kurt is a nurse @ the hospital. Adorableness ensues.** _

Underneath We’re the Same  
By Julia

Blaine Anderson was a native of North Carolina. They had lived there his whole entire life. He had recently lost his house to a fire, and he was currently living with his half-brother Noah Puckerman and his fiancée Olivia Gilmore. Blaine was heading back there right now. They lived on the reservation. They had used to go to school there, too. Blaine had been teaching there until he had gotten a job with a school in Raleigh. He arrived back home at the house. It was hot, May was a scorcher. When he got inside, he found Olivia in the kitchen. He peeled off his dress shirt, revealing a strong, dark skinned chest. He had a tee of chest hair, and it disappeared into his pants. “God, Livvy, it’s hotter than hell.” He said, going to grab a beer out of the fridge. Puck was a contractor, he’d be home soon. Olivia was Native American, also, she and Puck had known each other all their lives. They had started dating when Olivia was thirteen, and Puck was fifteen, but they’d been in love with each other since they were kids. Blaine thought it was sweet. The baby, who was three, Aimee, was playing in her booster seat at the table. He gave her a kiss. “What are you fixing for dinner, Liv?” He asked, planting a kiss on her cheek. He cracked open his beer. He was 23, and still cracking his teeth at the teaching thing. Puck was also 23, he was only a few months older than Blaine. Blaine sat down at the table, and started making faces at his niece. Aimee giggled and clapped her hands. She was the spitting image of her parents. Brown eyes like her father, long dark hair like her mother, and gorgeous mocha skin. 

Olivia was wearing a tiny pair of shorts, and one of Puck’s tank tops. The house was an old farmhouse, and they only had a few air conditioning units. She was working on potato salad. “It’s hotter than hell, we’re having grilled burgers and potato salad so I don’t make the house hotter.” She replied. Olivia’s long hair wasn’t pulled back, and it hit her ass. It was layered, she’d been growing it for years. “Your brother’s late.” She said, as she got out the mayonnaise. She wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world. Just right here. She hummed under her breath. She started singing one of the songs Puck had written on his guitar. She looked at Blaine. “So, I was talking to that weird girl’s mom today. You know, the one who’s friends with Aimee.” They had Aimee in a play group with some kids in Raleigh. “Anyway, the girl’s mom’s name is Rachel Hudson. She has this brother in law who’s working as a nurse at the hospital.” She said, tucking a lock of her long black hair behind her ear. Blaine groaned. “No, Blaine, you need this! It’s been ten years. You’ve never had a boyfriend. You need to get out there. You’ve been through therapy. Even Dr. Flynn says it’s time.” 

Rolling his eyes, Blaine wasn’t sure what to say. He really didn’t want a boyfriend. He didn’t want a date. He didn’t want any of it. Blaine just wasn’t ready. That month and a half of being tied to that bed…. He closed his eyes and counted to ten. He didn’t want to think about any of that. He didn’t. There was happier things. His long curls were coming out of his braid. He sighed. “Livvy, you didn’t set up a date, did you?” Blaine asked, looking at her, as she got out the hamburger patties. He was afraid of the answer. 

“Of course I did, Blainers.” She said, and he groaned again. “No, you’re going.” She told him. Olivia got the patties covered in seasoning. “Watch Ames for a second for me.” She said, and went outside to the grill. As she was putting them on, a large blue Dodge Ram drove up. It was Puck. She grinned. “Baby!” She squealed, and closed the grill, and hurried across the grass to put her arms around him. He swung her around, his arms around her waist. She squealed happily again and leaned up, kissing him. 

Puck couldn’t imagine loving anyone else but her. She was totally the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. They had been destined to be together. He didn’t know how she had fallen for him, he could be a bit of a bad boy, but she had. “Hey, baby.” He said, kissing her again as they went into the kitchen. He kissed his daughter on the head, and she squealed happily for him. He picked her up, and she squealed, wrapping her arms around his neck. He bounced her on his hip playfully. It would be hard to find a baby girl that was loved more than Aimee Puckerman. She was very spoiled. Not only that, but she was Daddy’s little girl. Puck played with her, and she giggled. “Daddy’s home!” He said, and she giggled more. Puck tossed her up in the air, ignoring his fiancée’s protests. “What’s up, Squirt?” He asked, ignoring Blaine’s eyes rolling. He tickled Aimee, who giggled more. “I heard my woman got you a date.” He said, bouncing Aimee on his hip as Olivia handed him a beer. He grabbed it and opened the can with one hand. That was a regular occurrence. He bounced Aimee and looked at Blaine. “You should go. It’s been long enough.” Puck said, again ignoring the look Blaine gave him. As long as Blaine went. 

“That’s the same thing your wife said.” Blaine replied. Puck and Olivia were pretty much married already according to common law. They were only making it official for less problems when Aimee went to school. Blaine got up to recycle his beer can. He was tired of this conversation already. He took his hair out of its braid and it fell in his eyes. He ran his hand over his chest. “I’m going to go freshen up for supper.” He said, and let the kitchen. He climbed the stairs two at a time and let himself into the bathroom off his bedroom. He didn’t really know what to say. Or think about any of this. Blaine didn’t want to go on that date. He knew that the conversation wasn’t over. Blaine was going to hear about it for awhile, until he actually went. Blaine didn’t really want to go. He really didn’t. He was quite happy on his own. He really hoped they’d let it go. Even if the guy was really cute. Blaine had never had a boyfriend before. He had never slept with someone that he had actually wanted to. Blaine was scared. He didn’t know what to do. He wished that he did know. The prospect scared the hell out of him. 

When he went down to supper, it was ready. Blaine was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a tank top. He had pulled his long hair into a ponytail. He grabbed another beer, and started to fill his plate. Blaine made a face at Aimee, who was having chips with her burger. She wouldn’t eat potato salad. Blaine cast his sister in law a glance. “Liv, really, do I have to keep the date?” He asked, fear in his voice. He really hoped she’d say no. He couldn’t do it. He kept imagining what would happen when they got intimate and freaking out. He couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t. 

Olivia wasn’t really sure how to make him ready for it. She did think that he should go. She just wanted him to be happy. It’s all she had ever wanted. “Blaine, yes you do. It’s just one, okay, sweetie? If you don’t like him, you don’t have to go out with him again, okay?” She asked, getting her burger ready. She didn’t know what to do to make him stop freaking out. She just wanted him to breathe. “You need to move on, Blaine. You have to adjust to being with someone. No one is going to hurt you like you got hurt before.” Olivia said gently. She cracked open her Coke. She took a sip. “Please, Blaine. We can’t watch you torture yourself like this anymore.” 

Before Blaine could answer, Puck chimed in. “You can’t be alone forever, Squirt.” He said, forking up some salad. He was starved. He had been working hard. He was working as a contractor for the reservation, but he sometimes did jobs for Raleigh. He liked it. It had taken a lot of hard work to get his license. He had his own company. It was small, but they were gaining popularity. Puck looked up at Blaine. “You can go. It won’t kill you.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to insist it would. Blaine didn’t want to talk about it. He found himself asking, “What’s his name?” Blaine was kind of curious if he was honest with himself. He wasn’t sure if he could really do this, but he guessed he could go. Blaine wasn’t aware of any gay male nurses at the hospital. There could be a new person he supposed. Blaine wasn’t that plugged into town dealings if it didn’t have to do with the kids. Blaine took a bite of his burger. This was going to be difficult, he was sure of it. He didn’t know what to wear, and he didn’t know how he was going to act. He had never gone on a date. 

“His name is Kurt.” Olivia replied. She didn’t know if she could get him to go. Olivia wasn’t sure why he was still resisting dating people. She wanted him to go out and meet someone. Olivia didn’t know what he had to do to get him to want it. Olivia kept an eye on Aimee, who was playing with her chips while she was eating them. Olivia didn’t know why she did that. At least she had started to eat her burger. Aimee could be picky. She didn’t know how she was going to get Aimee to start liking other things. Olivia looked at Blaine. “You can go on the date. I will make you go with me and we can find you something nice to wear.” Olivia said. It was very important to her that Blaine went. “Please. Just go, okay? If you go on one date, it will really help things. I know you don’t want to, but it will help. It really will.” Olivia gave Aimee some more milk. “You can’t hide forever.” She told him. That was the truth. Olivia had read up on all this stuff, she had wanted to know how to help him. She had wanted to be able to ask him things and know how to help. What he had been through was awful. 

None of that sounded like something that Blaine wanted to do. But he supposed that he could do it. He knew they were right. He had to go out and get out in the world. Blaine ate some more potato salad. He didn’t really know if he was going to make a good impression or not. Blaine didn’t even know how to act around other boys. He didn’t know how this was going to go. He groaned. “Dammit, Olivia.” He said, heaving a sigh. He knew he couldn’t really fight her anymore. Olivia was pretty stubborn. Blaine rolled his eyes. “Fine….” He said, causing his sister in law to clap her hands loudly. Blaine looked at her. “But I am not going to get all dressed up.” He said, and she nodded. “I mean it, Olivia Anne.” He told her. “If this guy doesn’t like me for me, then it’s not going to work anyway.” Blaine got another burger. He didn’t know how this was going to work. Blaine really didn’t think it was going to lead to anything. It was going to end up in heartbreak. He didn’t get people into him. They never expressed an interest. Even if they did it always dissipated quickly. Blaine saw this going horribly. 

Kurt Hummel couldn’t believe that he was that pathetic that Rachel had set him up with someone. He supposed it couldn’t really hurt to go. Rachel, Finn, and their daughter Haili were just leaving. Kurt had picked up Haili from daycare. He didn’t really know why Rachel had thought she should do this. Kurt had a perfectly happy life. He had moved here at Rachel’s request, and had found a job at the hospital. It had been nice. He’d found a quaint little house. He had never seen himself in a place like this, but it was nice. Kurt had just broken up with someone not too long ago, anyway. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for serious. He figured it couldn’t hurt to go on the date though. Kurt would meet him at least. That wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. “I still can’t believe you are making me go on this date.” He said, rolling his eyes. Kurt supposed he was glad that Rachel cared enough to help him out like that. That was nice. It was just the actually going that was tripping him up. Kurt hadn’t been on a date in awhile. He and Trip had been living together, so he thought it didn’t really count. That point was almost as serious as you could get with someone. “I’ll have to get the perfect outfit.” 

“Just don’t cancel. It took a lot of cajoling or me to get it in the first place. Aimee’s mom is…. well, she’s nice but I don’t always know where I stand with her.” Rachel bounced Haili on her hip. “Also, it took a lot for this guy to agree. Olivia said he’s never had a boyfriend before.” That was the part that Rachel had trouble believing. Especially when Olivia had shown her a picture of the guy on her phone. Rachel had to admit, he was really cute. She was sure that Kurt would like him. Anyone would like him. He was very dreamy. Rachel watched Finn, who was playing with his phone. She knew that he was no longer listening because it was about boys now. Rachel wasn’t surprised. That was what Finn did. She bounced Haili some more, who was looking at Kurt with her wide green eyes. She had gotten them from Finn. Rachel looked up at him. “I know that you’re reluctant. But you should go. You really need to get back out there. You don’t want to die a cat lady, do you?” She asked. She ignored the look he gave her for using the term “cat lady.” She was more concerned about him going. 

That gave Kurt pause. “What, he doesn’t want to go either? And he’s never had a boyfriend before?” That was all raising red flags. Kurt did not want to go on a date with someone who had not had a boyfriend before. That was kind of a deal breaker. Kurt wasn’t sure that he wanted to be someone’s first boyfriend. “And that means that I’ll end up being his first. I am not sure that I want that responsibility.” Kurt didn’t know if he wanted that. He was definitely sure he didn’t. That was just too much to handle. What if it didn’t work out? He’d be forever tied to him, and did he need that? Not really. Kurt heaved a sigh. “Rachel… I don’t know.” He ignored the diva look she was giving him. He wasn’t going to change his mind. This was going to be a complete disaster if he went. Kurt ran his hand through his brown hair. He didn’t really get why she had done this. He sighed. She was glaring at him and stomping her foot. “Fine, Rachel. But I don’t know how much more that I can promise.” Kurt wasn’t planning on going on another date with this guy. Well… it had been a long time since he’d had sex. Kurt might date him for a bit. Wait, was he really considering this? 

A couple of days later, it was time for the date. Kurt was getting ready. There was going to be lateness on his part because he had been late getting home. He had already texted Blaine to let him know. Kurt was at the bathroom counter, fixing his hair. He was in his robe, he hadn’t decided what to wear yet. He didn’t have high hopes for this date. This was going to go badly, he was sure. Kurt was going to be the one that was getting the raw end of the deal. He didn’t know what Blaine was thinking about it. He was sure that the other man was freaking out. He’d never had a boyfriend before. Kurt still wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Kurt didn’t feel that comfortable being Blaine’s first. He just didn’t know if he wanted that responsibility. Kurt hadn’t seen him either, so he wasn’t even sure if he’d be attracted to him. There was always a possibility he wouldn’t be. Kurt finished his hair, he had coifed it with some gel and some hairspray. Then he went into the bedroom to get dressed. This was going to be pretty interesting. He had a lot to choose from. 

Blaine was taking a lot more casual approach to his date. He had Olivia help him braid his hair. It was curly and completely a lot to take care of. He didn’t want to put too much thought into any of this. He was wearing a pair of tight Wrangler jeans, and a flannel shirt. Blaine had chosen a green one, it made his hazel eyes pop. He figured he might as well look hot. Olivia left a couple of curls out, to hang over his forehead. Blaine had to admit, he looked pretty hot. He wasn’t even sure where they were going, Olivia hadn’t told him yet. Blaine was sure it was going to be somewhere like the diner in Raleigh. Or Olivia would have made him dress up some more. He got out his second best pair of shit kickers. Blaine pulled them on. Since Livvy had braided his hair he didn’t have to wear his cowboy hat. Blaine went down to the kitchen. Olivia was feeding Aimee at the table. She was playing with the mac and cheese that her mother had put in front of her. Blaine grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Puck was outside mowing. Even with the heat. “I can’t believe that you did this.” He said. Blaine rolled his eyes. She didn’t get it. She really didn’t. 

Olivia got out the chicken she was going to fry for supper. “You will go and you will like it.” She told him. She got out more mac and cheese. Aimee was going to bed in a few minutes. She had been crying and complaining about things for an hour now. She was just going to have to go to bed. Humming, Olivia got out the flour for the chicken. “You’re just going to Luke’s anyway.” She told him. That was the diner. Olivia hoped he would stay even though Kurt had said he’d be late. Olivia was determined for Blaine to get a boyfriend. She just wanted him to be happy. That was all she had ever wanted. “Please, Blaine. Just stop whining. You will have a good time.” Olivia informed him, tossing a lock of her long hair behind her shoulder. She put down what she was doing so she could get Aimee, who was done eating. She was so going to bed. She picked up her child. “Don’t go anywhere yet. I need to double check you before you leave.” She wanted to make sure that he looked great before she let him leave the house. 

He just rolled his eyes. Blaine was going to go. Even if he didn’t want to go. He was. Blaine supposed that he could do this. It would be fine. Blaine could somehow do this. Get Kurt into him. He was cute. He was hot. He had singing abilities and he was a kindergarten teacher. That was all completely adorable. Blaine finished his water, his hand shaking. He tossed the bottle in the recycle bin. His brother came in, all sweaty. “You look hot. Is it hot out there, Noah?” Blaine asked, looking at him. His brother shot him the bird. Blaine just gave him a grin. “I’m just nervous, don’t mind me.” He said, trying to keep his hands off his hair. He didn’t want to mess it up. It had taken Olivia ten minutes to braid. He didn’t want to her to have to do it again. It looked great, actually. Blaine wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. He couldn’t believe that he was about to do this. It was going to make him freak out again, and he didn’t want to do that. Blaine just wanted to go and get it over with. It’s all he wanted. Blaine looked at Puck. “I will never forgive you if you get me into this and it ends badly.” 

Going to the fridge, he got out a beer. “Whatever, Squirt. As long as you go.” Puck didn’t want to argue with him anymore about it. All he wanted was for Blaine to go and stop complaining about it. It was getting a bit old. “You’re going to go whether you want to or not and no more complaining. You are not six.” Puck knew that was harsh. He didn’t want to be, but that’s what you had to do with Blaine when he got stubborn. Because he’d keep being stubborn. “You look great, by the way. You’ll do great on the date. Kurt is totally going to love you.” Puck was sure that Blaine just needed to breathe. “Relax.” 

Blaine gave his brother the finger. That was all really cute but he hated his brother sometimes. “Fine…” He said, trying not to mouth off. That was not going to help anything. Blaine watched Olivia come back in the kitchen, and gave his brother a kiss. He thought that when you looked at Puck and Olivia, you were looking at love. They loved each other. 

When Blaine arrived at the diner, he took a deep breath and went inside. There was an extremely well-coiffed man at table by the window, and Blaine wondered if that was him. He was reading from a Nook. He had a pair of black reading glasses on. Blaine didn’t know if that was him or not, but he was gorgeous. He had the most beautiful eyes Blaine had ever seen. Blaine checked his breath and headed over to him. “Are you Kurt Hummel?” Blaine asked, his heart pounding. 

The other man approached him, and Kurt’s mouth dropped wide open. The other man was definitely shy, but he was completely gorgeous. His curls shouldn’t be braided though, Kurt wanted to play with them. His hazel eyes were gorgeous, and he looked very hot in those jeans. Kurt had to see if he was still breathing. “Yes…. You’re Blaine Anderson?” He asked. Kurt didn’t know what to say or do. This was crazy. “You… go ahead and sit down.” Kurt replied. He turned off his Nook. He put it in his bag. He was not looking at this beautiful man. His skin….. Kurt just wasn’t sure why he had ever protested this. 

As he sat down, Blaine tried to relax and breathe. This man was the most beautiful man he’d ever seen in his life. Blaine absentmindedly played with the menu. This was Olivia’s stepfather’s diner, so he didn’t really need to look at it. He already knew what was here. Blaine looked at Kurt. “Have you ever been here before?” He asked curiously. Blaine already knew what he was going to order. They’d need a minute if Kurt hadn’t been here before. Which was crazy, everyone on the rez and Raleigh had been to Luke’s. Blaine looked at him. “I’ve been here. This place is in the family.” That was pretty much true, he figured. He gave Kurt a big smile, he couldn’t help it. Kurt was so gorgeous. Blaine’s stomach rumbled despite himself. He couldn’t help it, he was so starved. Blaine hadn’t been able to eat all day. He didn’t know if he’d be able to eat now, actually. It was going to be nerve wracking, this date. “Mostly everything here’s really good.” Blaine told him matter of factly. He played with his menu. 

Kurt had eaten breakfast here a couple of times. He didn’t know what he was going to eat now, but the breakfast was great. Kurt let out a breath. He said, “I’ve eaten here, but I have only had the breakfast.” Kurt looked up at the man who approached their table. He was wearing an outfit similar to Blaine’s, and a blue backwards cap. Kurt looked at him curiously. This man looked sturdy, and reminded him of a hermit. “Hello.” Kurt said, cursing himself for his very high voice. That did not help being seen as gay. Not that he was really trying to be seen as anything else. He was sure that he was never going to be perceived as straight. 

“Hi.” The man replied. He looked at Blaine. “Hi, Blaine.” Luke said. He was glad to see Blaine on an actual date. Luke was a little uncomfortable with people being gay, but that was more because Luke was not comfortable with people in general. He liked Blaine, and he knew that he had to have been through a lot. Luke thought he needed to get out there. “You didn’t tell me you were dating anyone.” That was mostly teasing, it was his wife’s influence. Luke normally didn’t have the people skills to do something like that. He looked at Blaine. “You want the usual?” He asked. 

Blaine nodded. “Yes, and I’ll pay for whatever Kurt wants.” He gestured towards Luke. “Kurt, this is my future sister in law’s father Luke.” Blaine dropped the step, Olivia usually did anyway. Blaine had never asked her about her birth father before. She never talked about him. Blaine looked at Kurt. “Luke, this is Kurt. He’s the blind date Olivia set up for me.” He said. He couldn’t keep the blush from covering his face. Blaine was so nervous. He didn’t know how he was going to do this. He hadn’t known how beautiful Kurt was. Kurt was the most beautiful man Blaine had ever seen in his life. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Kurt of course was going to get bored with him and move on. Blaine looked at Luke. “You should make him a burger, though.” Blaine looked at Kurt then. “Luke makes some of the best burgers ever known to man.” He wasn’t sure if Kurt would order one or not, but he really hoped that he would. Blaine wanted to take one of Kurt’s hands in his own, but he didn’t. That might be too soon. He was completely overwhelmed right now. 

Kurt gave Luke a warm smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Luke.” Kurt didn’t know what else he was supposed to say. He could tell that this man was important to Blaine. Kurt didn’t know what to say to make a good impression. He nodded at Blaine’s suggestion of a hamburger. “That sounds good.” Kurt agreed. He wasn’t sure what to think of Blaine yet, but he was a very beautiful man. He had thought so when he’d first seen him, but the more he looked at him, the more Kurt fell for him. This could end up badly or very well. It was too soon to tell. Kurt wished he had a crystal ball, so he could tell for sure. He tried to avoid getting hurt as much as possible. It just didn’t always work out that way. Kurt still thought maybe Blaine had been right to stay single. He didn’t know why Blaine hadn’t ever dated anyone, but it had probably saved him some heartache. Kurt said, “Let me get that with fries and a strawberry milkshake.” Kurt hoped that he wasn’t coming off as too feminine. It was something that he always worried about. Kurt knew that he shouldn’t have to make any apologies for who and what he was, but there was no reason to make anyone uncomfortable, either. He didn’t get why people did that. 

Luke wrote all that down. It was pretty much for Caesar, Luke was good at remembering orders. “I will do that. And you take care of Blaine. He’s a good kid, my kid is fond of him.” Luke had practically raised Olivia before he had married Olivia’s mother. Luke had always felt like she was his daughter. It didn’t hurt that he had been in love with her mother Lorelai since he had first met her. Luke knew that Blaine had been through a lot. He would do anything to make sure that Blaine didn’t have to go through anything else. He didn’t know much about Kurt, but he knew he was working at the hospital. “He’s a very strong person. He’s been through a lot in his life. Don’t make him go through any more.” Luke ignored the embarrassed look Blaine gave him. The boy’s face was covered in a red blush. Luke looked at them both and said, “I’ll get those orders in.” He clapped Blaine on the shoulder and went to put in the orders. Like just hoped that Blaine wouldn’t end up hurt. That was the last thing in the world he needed right now. 

After Luke had walked away, Blaine looked at Kurt. “I’m sorry. Everyone just likes to make sure I’m protected.” Blaine’s parents weren’t living anymore, and the father that he and Puck shared had taken off. Blaine’s mother had given him his stepfather’s last name when he’d gotten a little older. She hadn’t wanted him to have that stigma over his head. He wasn’t going to question it too much. Blaine had loved his mother. His father had been a deadbeat, and he and Puck were better off not having him in their lives. “It’s because of something that happened when I was younger.” Blaine did not want to go into detail about that. He didn’t talk about it very often as it was. Only Dr. Flynn knew the whole thing. Blaine really trusted Flynn. He had been a very big help. He looked at Kurt, as a curl fell out of his braid and over his forehead. He didn’t know where this was going to go. He had never dated before. There was no way to tell. Blaine looked at Kurt. “I know that you’re probably pretty reluctant to date me because I’ve never dated before. I know that’s hard thing. You don’t know if I’m worth it.” Blaine took one of Kurt’s hands. “I assure you that I am.” He licked his lips nervously. 

His breath caught. Kurt held his hand back, looking at their laced fingers. Kurt had of course been thinking that very thing. He just wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell him that. Kurt didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Although, keeping it to himself wouldn’t necessarily help anything, either. “I have to admit, I did have misgivings.” He admitted. “But as soon as I saw you, I thought I should see where this went. You seem to be a very nice person.” Kurt licked his lips, his little nervous habit. He slowly stroked the back of Blaine’s hand with his thumb. He didn’t know if he believed in love at first sight, but it felt like something similar to that. Kurt tried to focus, that curl over Blaine’s forehead was really hot. He licked his lips again. Kurt didn’t want to leave this date. Blaine was amazing. “I don’t want to go anywhere. You are very handsome, and that’s not your only appeal but it certainly helps. You don’t have to worry. I am going to stay and see where this goes.” Kurt assured him. He got lost, looking in the man’s hazel eyes. 

Meeting his eyes, Blaine tried to keep from licking his own lips. He didn’t want to be seen as lecherous. “I’m glad. I want to get to know you. You are very… beautiful. My breath was taken away.” That was true, even if it was incredibly cheesy. Blaine had a feeling that he would be using a lot of those cheesy lines. All he really had to go on was the books and movies he’d had growing up. Blaine also knew that his ethnicity was a plus. Some people really liked that sort of thing. Blaine hadn’t ever really thought about it since he had never intended to date. Although some people in Raleigh weren’t exactly welcoming about it. Blaine just chalked it up to ignorance. It was something that Blaine couldn’t help or fix. He didn’t care about it too much, because he was living a pretty good life here, and he always had. Blaine would never want to leave. He loved it here. “I grew up here. I have always lived on the rez. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I love being around people who are different, but it’s nice to be around people that are the same as me, too.” Blaine said, brushing the errant curl off his head. Kurt’s breath caught again. “I am glad to be teaching here in Raleigh though.” 

Kurt listened intently to all that Blaine had to say. He thought that it was amazing that Blaine had had that. Kurt wasn’t sure that he had ever even felt that way. Kurt had moved here from Ohio, and back there, it hadn’t necessarily been the greatest thing. Kurt was glad for Blaine. He really was. “That’s great, Blaine.” He said, grinning. “You are adorable.” That slipped out before he could stop himself. He didn’t care too much though, because it was true. Blaine had this way about him that was incredibly adorable. It reminded him of a puppy dog. Kurt said, “I moved here from Ohio, and there, it’s very different.” Kurt didn’t really want to talk about why he had moved here from Ohio. Ohio was like…. the black hole that everyone should avoid if they could. Kurt hadn’t had to endure any kind of lasting abuse, because at least in Ohio they didn’t care if you weren’t asking them, but it still had been tedious and he was glad he had moved. Kurt’s father Burt and his wife Carole had moved, too, to DC. Both Kurt and his stepbrother Finn hadn’t been in Ohio anymore, it hadn’t made sense for them to stay. And Burt was the senator for Ohio. It had made sense to move.

Blaine looked at him, his hazel eyes completely attentive. He was glad that Kurt was sharing. “Do you like it better here?” Blaine asked, as Luke dropped by, giving them glasses of water, and then disappeared again. Blaine really hoped that he’d say yes. He couldn’t imagine not being happy here in Raleigh. It was a great place. He hadn’t heard Kurt mention that he had any family here. He wondered how hard that must have been for Kurt to move here like that. With no family to be around him, and he hadn’t known anyone around here. It must have been hard. Blaine wasn’t sure that he could have done something that courageous. Blaine could hardly stand to be away from the rez longer than a school day. It was out of his realm of understanding that Kurt had been able to do that. “I’m… that’s so amazing that you were able to just move somewhere else like that.” Blaine had true wonder, because he knew that he would never be able to do that. “But I am glad that you did, because I never would have met you.” 

It had been very hard. Kurt had hated being so far away from his father and stepmother. His stepbrother had gone to New York with his wife, Rachel, before they’d moved to Raleigh and convinced Kurt to move there as well. Rachel had had to give up her dream of being a singer because she’d had some nodules on her vocal cords that had turned out to be cancer. She’d had the surgery to have them removed, and she was completely cancer free, but she couldn’t sing anymore. Rachel had taken that extremely hard, but she had found a niche teaching music at the high school here in Raleigh. Rachel had leaned on Kurt a lot. Kurt had been glad to be there for her. He had once considered a career in show biz, until he’d found his love for helping people. He wasn’t crazy about the blood, but he made it work. “It… it was hard at first. But… my sister in law had been sick… and she needed me to move here. They wanted me to be near them, and they hadn’t even considered moving to where my parents are living in DC. I am glad that I moved here, too.” He said, smiling slyly. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Blaine said, his face taking on a sad expression. “I’m so sorry… That must have been terrible.” Blaine had never had a sick relative like that. His parents had died quickly. It had been painless. Blaine didn’t know how any of that worked and he felt badly. “But is she doing better now?” He asked. Blaine hoped that she was. 

He nodded. “She’s good. She had nodules on her vocal cords, and she had them operated on. She’s fine, out of the woods, but she can’t sing anymore. Rachel took it supremely hard. For a year or so, we wondered if she was even going to make it. But she’s doing better, and she teaches music at Raleigh High. It’s kind of….well… cliché, but Rachel is glad to have some kind of life in the music biz.” Kurt wasn’t sure if he would have been able to get back on his feet after something like that had happened. Kurt didn’t know if he could handle it. Rachel was a diva, and would always be one, but she had proven herself to be an amazing person. Kurt didn’t know how she’d managed to do that. Rachel had more depth than any of them had realized. Kurt was glad that there was more to her than met the eye. “But it’s okay, things are going good.” 

The rest of the date went amazingly well. They got along great. Blaine even tentatively leaned out and kissed Kurt. It was soft at first, but he let his tongue dart out, and Kurt let his out, too. Blaine felt a stirring in his stomach. It felt good. He just, he couldn’t let it go any farther. This was good. It had been amazing. He could go home and tell his brother and Olivia all about it. He would feel good about it. Blaine pulled away. They were standing by Blaine’s truck. He had his hands on Kurt’s hips, but loosely. He didn’t want to hold on too tightly and give him any ideas. Blaine let out a breath. “What are you expecting?” He asked. He wanted to know so he could talk about it. 

Kurt looked at him. He wasn’t sure what to say to that. He stayed as close to Blaine as the other man would allow. He had his hands on Blaine’s chest. It felt a little too intimate, but Blaine didn’t push him away, so it felt okay. “I’m not expecting anything you don’t want to do.” 

Blaine let out a deep breath. “I’m…. I’m not going to be ready for any of this any time soon.” He wasn’t going to tell him why, but he wanted Kurt to know how serious he was about this. Blaine just wasn’t ready. “Kurt, I really like you, and I want this to last, but I am not going to be ready for sex for a long time. I just don’t know if that’s something that you’re willing to put up with.” He knew he should just tell him why, because it was such a big thing. He just couldn’t. It was too much to talk about. 

Kurt looked at him, taking that all in. “I…. I guess I’d be a complete jerk if I said I cared about that.” Kurt ran his hand through his hair. Kurt looked at him. “I like you, too, and I don’t want to pressure you into anything. You haven’t ever done this, and you need it to be right.” 

When Blaine heard all of that, he did his best not to freak out. That was exactly the thing he needed to hear. He needed to hear that Kurt was okay with waiting. He had to tell his stomach to calm down, and it was hard. It was tight with desire, but Blaine knew he wasn’t ready. It was just trying to tell his libido that was the problem. “I’m…I’m glad to hear you say that.” Blaine said, and leaned out, kissing him softly. “One day at a time.” 

 

_**Author’s note: SO. I hope ya’ll liked. I was not planning on this. It just kinda happened. It was my friend Katie’s fault. We have a Klaine AU addiction. Anyway, I promise, I’ll update as soon as I can. Let me know what you thought! Also, I hate Rory, that’s why she doesn’t exist in this AU.** _


	2. Nothing In This World Will Ever Break My Heart Again

Chapter Two: Nothing In This World Will Ever Break My Heart Again

The next couple of weeks were busy for Blaine. He had a lot to do. He had been working on getting items back or his house. He had chosen to take the insurance money and build a new place on Puck and Olivia's land. He didn't mind, since it was his own space. He liked being close to them, his place hadn't been far before it had burned. Blaine supposed that most people would have been angry about losing all of their things, but most of his memories and things like that were in Puck's attic. He hadn't been on his own for very long. He'd not had time to get everything moved yet. That was the one good thing. Blaine was not minding the shopping. He had already picked out a few things, he was keeping it in the barn. He liked picking out things for the house. It was something that was a latent hobby. And it's not like he would ever want to decorate anyone else's place. He really didn't. He only wanted to focus on his own place. Blaine was at home with Aimee, Puck and Olivia were out on a date. Blaine had volunteered to babysit. He had been wanting to use Aimee as an excuse not to see Kurt. He still wanted to date him, but he still wanted to keep him at arm's length.

Olivia had cooked, and Blaine had heated it up. It was meatloaf and mashed potatoes. She was a good cook, much better than Blaine was. She had made mac and cheese for Aimee. She ate meat loaf but she wasn't big on potatoes. She preferred noodles. Blaine was busy cleaning up from dinner and Aimee was watching Scooby Doo in the living room. Blaine wasn't her parent, so he had a tendency to let her stay up a little sometimes. Blaine wasn't sure what was going to happen with Kurt. He was planning on going out with him again, he just needed to mentally prepare himself. He really did like Kurt. He was really cute. He just didn't know if he was really ready to try and be someone's boyfriend. He needed to go slowly. Maybe not to Kurt's liking, but Blaine had to be comfortable. He wasn't most of the time, so it was what he was used to. Blaine got out a beer, and opened it. He took a swallow. Aimee was singing along with Scooby Doo. It was cute, how much she liked it. Blaine was going to let her finish it and then put her to bed. He was then going to have nothing else to think about but the attack...... that was unacceptable.

It took all of his energy getting Aimee into bed. She was one of those stay up types. She always wanted to be up when her parents came home. It was hard to get her to go to bed. Blaine usually didn't mind the trying. He gave the energy that he normally would have spent on trying to keep his mind off what happened to getting Aimee to sleep. He had to tell Aimee the story of her parents getting together twice before she fell asleep. Once she was out, he didn't have anything to do but think about the month that he had been handcuffed to that bed. It was part of his thoughts most of the time. Blaine's curls were coming out of his braid. He went back to the living room. He put the tv on some silly comedy that he wouldn't have to pay attention to. Blaine didn't know how he was going to do this. Be Kurt's boyfriend. Blaine wanted to be. He really did. Kurt was beautiful and so smart. Blaine just didn't know how to do it without Kurt getting frustrated and moving on. Blaine didn't want that. He just didn't know how to do that. He really wasn't able to have sex any time soon. Blaine wasn't sure that he would ever be ready. He wanted to be. He tried to focus on the television. It was too hard when he was alone, it was always bad.

His cell phone was ringing on the table made him jump. He wasn't expecting that at all. Blaine looked down at his phone. It was Kurt. Blaine stared at it or a second before he picked it up. “Hi, Kurt.” He said, his heart pounding out of his chest. He didn't know what he was going to do to act like a good boyfriend. If that's what he even was. Blaine just wasn't sure if that was what they were or not. Blaine wished that he was brave enough to actually ask. He had had the courage to tell him that he wasn't going to be ready for sex, you would think that he could ask that. But he just couldn't. Blaine just wasn't sure how this was going to end up. He tried to keep his tone neutral. He tried to keep his heart from pounding out of his chest. He was so very nervous. This was going to end with him being incredibly dehydrated from the sweating he was going to be doing. Blaine cracked open the beer he had gotten after Aimee was in bed. He took a long sip. This was going to be difficult to navigate. But alcohol was going to help him not be so nerdy. As long as he didn't drink too much. “What's up?”

Kurt hadn't seen Blaine much in those two weeks. He'd been busy working, so he wasn't angry. He also knew that Blaine wasn't used to being in a relationship. He didn't know how any of this worked. He was okay with that. Blaine was completely beautiful. He was almost too beautiful to be real. Kurt wasn't sure if he deserved him. Kurt could think of nothing but that mocha skin that he wanted to run his fingers over. Blaine's skin was one of the most beautiful things that Kurt had ever seen. It was almost all he thought about. All those long hours at the hospital, changing bed pans, taking blood pressure, fluffing pillows, the whole time thinking of Blaine and his skin. Also, those beautiful curls. Kurt couldn't help thinking of those curls on a baby. He wasn't even sure he wanted kids, but if they were Blaine's, he would be open to having them. That was a little frightening. Kurt didn't know that he should be that into him already. Kurt actually really missed him. They had only talked a couple of times on the phone. He understood that Blaine was busy. He was too. But they had to at least talk a bit. He asked, “How are you? It's been a bit since we talked. I miss you.” Kurt really didn't want to come on too strong. Blaine was fragile.

“I'm sorry. I've been busy. My house burned down not too long ago. I've been working on getting things replaced.” Blaine was doing his best not to sound as if he was being too distant. Blaine didn't want Kurt to think that he wasn't into this. He was. It was still hard to even think about having sex with him. Even though he wished that he could. And he wished that he'd be able to before it was too late and Kurt left him. Blaine didn't know if he could do that, manage not to get Kurt to leave. That was the bad part. Blaine had even went out and gotten a book about how to be in a good relationship. He usually would have balked at something like that. But he knew that he needed it. He had to learn how to do these kinds of things. “I missed you too.” The best part was that that was true. Blaine really did miss him. Blaine took a deep breath. This had to be handled delicately. Blaine wanted to do this right. There were a lot of ways that he could screw this up. And that was without him thinking and trying not to ruin things. “I am sorry I haven't seen you.”

Kurt thought he might be actually mean that that was the good part. Kurt ran his hand through his hair. He didn't know if he could really do this. Be what Blaine needed. He really wanted to be though. Kurt wanted to be strong and be the kind of person that Blaine could count on. Kurt smiled, though, it was amazing to be talking to him. “I am glad. I think that we could get together though, tomorrow, I am not working. My first day off in like, six days. I want to spend it with you. I thought we could go to the movies or something. I also got some things to cook. I like cooking, it relaxes me.” Kurt said. That was true. Plus, he liked cooking for people. And Blaine was going to be important. Hell, he already was. Kurt would never repay Rachel for setting this up. He was so happy right now. There wasn't much that could change that right now. Kurt poured the noodles into the pan, he was making chicken Alfredo right then for dinner. He had just gotten off a 20 hour shift. Kurt was almost ready to pass out. Even though he was tired, he wouldn't be able to fall asleep just yet. He was full of coffee. He had already cut up the chicken. It was going to be delicious.

When Kurt mentioned getting together, Blaine tried to stay calm. He had to date him if they wanted to stay a couple. Blaine was just not sure that he wanted to really do this. As amazing as Kurt was. He just wasn't sure he was ready. Blaine was just going to be completely dehydrated from all the sweating. “You.... you want to get together?” He finally said. Blaine had been thinking about him since. Even if he wasn't sure that he would have admitted that out loud. He had, though, missed him much in the time they'd been apart. Blaine didn't really think that he could do this. Be the boyfriend that Kurt deserved. Blaine wasn't the kind of boyfriend that anyone should be with. “Kurt, I like you. I really do.” Blaine stopped, and he heard Kurt's sharp intake of breath. “No, Kurt, it's not what you think.” He said. “I'm not breaking up with you. I'm giving you the chance to break up with me. I don't have to tell you that I just am not good enough for you.” He said. There was no denying that, no matter what Kurt said.

That made Kurt sad. He thought it was sad that Blaine thought that. “Blaine, are you kidding? Have you seen you? You aren't just handsome, you are beautiful. Your skin is.... I have never dated anyone as beautiful as you. You aren't seeing what is actually true. You are too good for me.” Kurt wasn't insecure by any means, but he knew that Blaine was too good looking to be with him. Kurt got the noodles out of the pantry. He said, “I am not going anywhere. I know that you're not used to any of this. I am okay with that.” Kurt wasn't used at all to dating someone who wasn't into sex, but he was okay with that. Kurt was willing to do whatever he had to for Blaine. He really liked him. He liked him a lot. It was more than the fact that he was beautiful. Kurt liked that he was shy. That he was a teacher, and that he cared about his culture. Kurt was willing to do what he should to see how this would turn out. Kurt was patient. “I know that you're scared. Everyone's a little scared, honey. It's okay.” Kurt held himself back from making a sympathetic cooing noise. He didn't want to scare him off. With guys like Blaine, you had to be careful. He also didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

That Kurt was being so understanding was not helpful. Well, it should have been, but Blaine knew that he had no excuse to break up with him. Not that he should want to. He shouldn't. Kurt was willing to be patient and deal with his problems. All of his neuroses. Blaine took a sip out of his beer. The door opened, bringing his brother and his sister in law. “I do like you, Kurt. I really do.” This was not a lie. He really did like Kurt. He was way too good for him, but he was the first person that Blaine thought he could actually sleep with. That should mean a lot. And, if he thought about it, it really did. “That.... that means a lot to me. That you're really willing to put up with all of my..... issues.” He said, for lack of a better word. Blaine watched as Puck and Olivia took off shoes and headed for the kitchen. Blaine sipped his beer. He didn't know what else to say. He wasn't used to having to talk to people on the phone. He was pretty much just used to talking to his family. That was much easier. He knew what to expect from that. He had a couple of friends at school, but that wasn't the same.

As Blaine continued to talk, Olivia got out a beer for Puck. “Noah, do you think Blaine is going to actually date Kurt?” He hoped that he would. Olivia had worked hard to get the date for him. She hoped that Blaine would give Kurt a chance. She went to the fridge and got out a soda. They had gone to the movies and dinner. Olivia was glad that they had gotten to go out. They hadn't gotten to go out in awhile. Olivia tossed her long hair over her shoulder. She sat down at the table. She took one of Puck's hands in hers. “I really hope that he does, I had to work hard to get that set up for him.” She said. Olivia cracked open her soda with her free hand. She found Puck's foot under the table and ran hers along the outside. “So.... our kid's asleep.” She said, giving him a grin. They got along very well because they both enjoyed sex. She let her foot climb higher on his leg, until her toes were running along his length. He started, and gave her a dirty grin. Olivia gave him a grin, and ran her toes very slowly along his length. Olivia gave him a big grin. She didn't have to do much to get him turned on. It was always a good thing. She knew what to do. “Mmmmm.... it would be a good thing if you want to do anything about it.” She gave him a wink.

It was hard to resist when your fiancee was turning you on. Especially when your fiancee was really hot. Puck raised an eyebrow at her. “You are definitely going to get something if you keep doing that.” He said, his voice a little squeaky. Puck wasn't sure that he could turn her down. Her whole foot slipped over his cock, and that was it. Puck got up, keeping ahold of her hand and pulled her with him to the stairs. They could still hear Blaine on the phone. Puck was glad, but that's all he could think before he was busy thinking about the armful of woman he had. Plus, she was really hot. Puck wasn't usually able to think coherent thoughts when he had Olivia giving him attention. Puck closed the bedroom door, and Olivia got on the bed. She gave him a grin. Puck took off his shirt, and tossed it on the floor. This was going to be amazing, it always was. While he was taking off his shirt, she was taking off hers. She was toying with the straps of her bra while he was working on his belt. He was going to enjoy this. Puck knew how to please women. He dropped his pants on the floor.

Blaine was hanging up with Kurt. He heard giggling from Puck and Olivia's bedroom. He had to shake his head in disbelief. Although, he shouldn't have been surprised. They did that a lot. Especially after a date. They had very healthy libidos. He flipped the channels on the television. He didn't really care what he watched. He had agreed to go over to Kurt's for dinner the next day. Blaine wasn't sure what was going to happen. He was very nervous. This was going to require Olivia's help. Blaine wasn't going to be able to do this without her. He was enough of a man to admit that. Blaine pulled his feet up underneath him. He was very anxious. This was going to end up badly if he didn't do this right. Blaine wanted to do it right. It was something that he was man enough to admit. Blaine didn't know what to wear, he wasn't sure what to do with his hair. He was sure that he was going to fuck everything up. He wasn't sure how he was going to manage any of this. Blaine was going to have to go and get a book on relationships at the bookstore. He thought most of them were unhelpful, but he thought there might be some that would be helpful. Blaine was sure that he could do this if he took it seriously. He would have to be careful.

The following evening, Kurt was working on dinner. He was making pot roast and mashed potatoes. He thought it would be best to keep it simple. He had the feeling that Blaine was a meat and potatoes kind of person. Kurt didn't mind that at all. He was making salad, too. He had rolls in the oven. He'd made them from scratch. He was able to do a lot around the kitchen. Kurt had also taught his father all he knew. Kurt loved cooking. Baking was also something that he enjoyed. Kurt was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a form fitting tee shirt. He was sure that Blaine was going to be casual. Not to mention, it was just a simple dinner. Kurt didn't want to put too much pressure on it. He knew that the whole thing was precarious. Kurt didn't want him to freak out if he could help it. Kurt wasn't sure that he could ever understand anything that Blaine had been through. He was going to have to be as helpful and as understanding as he could. That wasn't going to be hard, but Kurt was going to have to do some reading on people who had survived rape.

The doorbell rang. Kurt put down the potato peeler and went to get it. He opened it, revealing Blaine. He was wearing a flannel shirt and a pair of Wranglers with a pair of cowboy boots. Kurt had heard Blaine call them shit kickers. He was sure he could guess why, but he didn't want confirmation. Kurt gave him a smile. “Hi, Blaine.” He said, and stepped back to let him inside. Kurt closed the door once he was inside. He gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I am glad you came.” He said, as Blaine took off his cowboy hat. He played with it, wringing it in his hands. Kurt took it from him, and hung it on the coat rack. “I made pot roast, and I'm working on potatoes. Is that okay?” Kurt asked, as he gave him another smile. He took Blaine's hand, lacing his fingers through his. He smiled when Blaine didn't pull away. He was glad that Blaine was here. Kurt had been half afraid that he wouldn't come. It was good that he had. Kurt led him to the kitchen, so he could keep peeling. Blaine hopped up on the counter as he watched Kurt pick up the peeler again. He was very glad that Rachel had set them up. Kurt had thought that this was going to be terrible, but this was amazing. Blaine was so beautiful.

The food actually did smell good. Blaine's stomach rumbled. He didn't know if he was going to manage to stay the whole time. He was glad that he had come. He really liked Kurt. Blaine hadn't been able to keep from dreaming about him the night before. This was going to be amazing even if it was stressful. Blaine ran his hand along his arm. He had braided his hair again. It was just easiest, because his curls always bothered him. He'd used to gel them. But then his hair had grown longer and he'd started to straighten them and braid them. Blaine sniffed the air. “It smells really good in here.” He said. He wasn't sure that he could wait till they ate. He'd been chasing Aimee around the house and had worked off all the food he'd eaten. Blaine had been playing with her. They had played tag, hide and go seek, Simon Says, all kinds of things. Blaine liked playing with her. It was simple. He didn't have to think about it. It took his mind off everything. Blaine loved being around Aimee. He loved kids. It's why he was teacher. He loved kids, they were always so eager to play and they never asked hard questions.

Blaine was shy. Kurt didn't mind that. He liked the shy, quiet type. There was always more to them than met the eye. Kurt added the peeled potatoes to the water. He added the last ones to peel to the cutting board. Kurt peeled them, his hands going faster than they normally would have. He had heard Blaine's stomach rumble. He reached into the fridge to get out a soda. “Here, honey.” He said. “It'll only be a little while longer, I only have the potatoes to finish.” Kurt said. He added the last ones to the pot. It wouldn't take so long now. He got out the plates to set the table. He wanted to get all of that done so they could talk while he finished cooking. Kurt put the salad and the bread on the table. He added some of the dressings he had and some butter. Kurt turned his blue eyes on Blaine. “How was your day?” He asked. He really wanted to know. Kurt already cared about Blaine so much. He didn't know if Blaine felt the same, but he hoped so. They hadn't talked much. Much about how they felt about each other. They needed to. Kurt didn't know what he was going to happen with him. He wished that they could both just feel the same. He felt really good about this date. He looked at Blaine. “What do you think?” He asked. “What do you think will happen with us?”

That threw him. Blaine hadn't expected him to ask that. Blaine let out a breath, a few curls escaping from his braid. Blaine looked at him. He didn't really know what to say to that. He wished that it had an easy answer. He didn't know if he was going to freak out or not. Blaine looked at Kurt. “Kurt, I really care about you. I really do.” His whole face was red under his skin. “I have never loved anyone before. I.... I really feel like I could love you.” He said, and he really meant that. Blaine surprised himself by getting down off the counter and taking Kurt's hands in his. “I.... I do care about you. I.... I am so scared, but I want to figure this out.” He said. He surprised them both by kissing him. Blaine's lips pressed against Kurt's, sucking on his bottom lip. Kurt pressed back against him, and Blaine gasped against his lips. Blaine's tongue darted out, licking his lips, asking for a deeper kiss. Kurt let him, and Blaine sucked on his tongue. Kurt let out a soft groan. Blaine broke the kiss, and looked at him. “Wow.” He said a little breathlessly. He thought Kurt was very good at that.

Kurt tried to catch his breath. Blaine may not have kissed a lot but he knew what he was doing. “Oh, Blaine.....” He said. He put his arms around his waist. He let out a deep breath. “You are really good at that.” He said. Kurt let go so he could get the pot roast checked. “Blaine, you are so sweet.” He said, as he turned to look at him. He took Blaine's hand, lacing their fingers together. He stroked the back of Blaine's hand with his thumb. He didn't know what to say. “I am so glad that you feel the same way I do. I was worried that you didn't feel the same way as me.” He said. He wasn't able to keep the grin off his face. He was so happy. He was glad that they were on the same page. It was easiest. Kurt checked the potatoes. He gave Blaine another kiss, softly. Blaine kissed back, his hand going to the nape of Kurt's neck. Kurt said, “So.... are we boyfriends?” He didn't want to assume that they were, because it was never going to end up well. You had to be clear I you wanted to get what you wanted. Kurt wanted things to be clear. He didn't know how they'd be okay if they didn't talk about things. You didn't really have much of a relationship without talking. “I just want things to be clear. It's okay if you aren't ready.”

That was hard to answer. Blaine just didn't know. He was afraid of hurting Kurt. “I don't want to hurt you. As soon as we do that, you'll be hurt. I.... I think that we should be..... we should be boyfriends, but let's not call it that. Okay? Just so I can get used to being with you.” Blaine looked at Kurt. He gave him a smile. “Is that okay?” Blaine asked, putting his arms around Kurt's waist. He just hoped that it would be okay. Blaine looked into his blue eyes. They were so beautiful. It was like looking into the sky. Blaine didn't know what he had done to get someone like Kurt. Kurt was amazing, and so sweet. He was so patient. Kurt didn't know what he was getting into, but Blaine was glad that he was willing to try. Blaine sniffed the air. “That pot roast smells mighty fine.” He said. Blaine felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders, now that they had talked about things. Blaine actually felt a little more relaxed now. He stripped off his cowboy boots. He wanted to be comfortable. He did feel so much more comfortable now that they had talked. Blaine kissed him softly on the cheek.

Kurt gave him a smile. He was glad that Blaine wanted to be boyfriends, even if they weren't calling it that. “Okay.” Kurt said, giving him a smile. “I'm okay with that.” He kissed him softly and he let go so he could mash the potatoes. Kurt was glad that they had ironed everything out. He cared about Blaine. Blaine was so sweet. There was also an innocence to him that he really liked. Even with the abuse that Blaine had had to suffer. If Kurt could go and beat up the man who did it to him, he would. And Kurt didn't believe in violence. How someone could do that to someone like Blaine. Blaine was so caring, and he was a school teacher. And he wasn't a school teacher because he couldn't do anything else, he was a school teacher because he liked it. He didn't deserve that to happen to him. Kurt would be patient with him. He really cared about him. Blaine was worth it. Kurt knew it. He didn't know how he was going to call himself a man if he didn't do right by Blaine. He added the milk and butter to the mashed potatoes. He worked the mixer in them, and Blaine helped by taking the pot roast out of the oven. He put it on the table. Kurt put the mashed potatoes on the table and got out more soda.

They sat and had a very pleasant supper. Kurt was glad, he thought Blaine was too thin. Blaine ate, and Kurt made sure he had as much as he wanted. They had apple pie a la mode for dessert, and went into the living room to watch tv. Kurt was glad that Blaine was here. He was surprised when Blaine cuddled up right to him on the couch. Kurt put his arms around him, and they laid back to watch tv. Kurt couldn't imagine being happier right now. This was the nicest thing that had ever happened to him. Blaine was so amazing. He sat there with Kurt, and he fell right to sleep. Kurt pushed some of the curls that had escaped out of his braid off his head. Kurt wondered if Blaine would stay the night. They didn't have to do anything, but Kurt didn't know that he felt safe with Blaine driving home like that. He didn't want him to fall asleep while he was driving home. They had been watching Facts of Life. Kurt liked the old 80s sitcoms. Kurt ran his hand along Blaine's back a soothing motion. He wanted Blaine to feel comfortable. He hummed softly.

Blaine woke when the little marathon was over. “Mmm... I'm sorry I fell asleep... I was playing with Aimee today.” He said, yawning. Kurt gave him a smile. “What?” Blaine asked, stretching a little. His head was rested on Kurt's chest, and his eyes were a little a puffy with sleep. He gave Kurt a soft kiss. “Maybe I should go on home.” Blaine said. Kurt's arms stayed around his waist. “Kurt, I can't drive home if you don't let go.” He thought it was cute that Kurt didn't want to let go. Blaine wondered if Kurt had a different idea. “Are.... are you trying to get me to spend the night?” Blaine asked, hoping it didn't sound accusatory. Blaine wasn't sure if he was ready for that. He was already thinking of his warm bed. He was just wondering how they were going to get to the sex. Blaine new that he had to do it sooner rather than later. He had a boyfriend now. It was important that he get used to the idea. Blaine did want to want to. He was sure that he was going to be able to go through with it eventually. He had to work out all of the issues. Blaine was sure that if they tried anytime soon he was going to freak out. Blaine just had to adjust to the idea of sleeping with Kurt.

“Yes, but not for the reasons you think, sweetheart.” Kurt said. “I'm just worried about you driving home because you seem sleepy.” Kurt didn't want anything to happen to him on the way home. Kurt hoped that Blaine wouldn't see too much into it. Kurt really wasn't trying to cause anything that Blaine didn't want. “I'm really not trying to start anything that you don't want, Blaine.” Kurt hoped that he believed him. Kurt really meant it. “I just want to keep you safe, sweetheart.” He told him. He hoped that Blaine agreed. It was what he really felt. Kurt stroked Blaine's cheek. “You have the most beautiful skin.” That was true. Kurt loved looking at him. He had never seen anyone with such beautiful skin. Not to mention, he was with Kurt. He was interested in him. Kurt still couldn't quite believe it. He was the luckiest man on the planet. “I am glad that you're with me.” Kurt said, unable to keep from being happy. He just hoped that Blaine wouldn't be freaked out because he was coming on too strong or something. That would be bad.

Blaine did his best not to be freaked out. Kurt wasn't doing anything that most people in a relationship wouldn't do. Blaine nodded. “Thanks, I'm glad that you like skin....” He was doing his best not to have a panic attack. He was perfectly safe. Blaine knew that. All he had to do was tell himself that. He put on a quizzical expression. He wasn't sure what he was going to say about what Kurt was thinking. He thought he'd be fine driving home. Blaine yawned again, though, and he had second thoughts. Maybe he wouldn't be. Blaine ran his hand through his curls, his hair had fallen out of his braid. He looked at Kurt. “You might be right.” He said thoughtfully. “Maybe I should stay.... but can I sleep on the couch?” Blaine thought being in the same bed as Kurt would freak him out. Blaine thought that didn't sound too unreasonable, given the circumstances. “I don't think that I could sleep in the same bed..... at least, not yet.” Blaine wished that he could be more normal. This was an impossibility, of course, but he still wished it just the same. Blaine's hazel eyes drooped. “I definitely shouldn't drive home.” He agreed. “I hate it when you're right.” He said, in an actual teasing tone. He didn't do that often.

Kurt smiled and kissed him softly. “You can stay, but you don't have to sleep on the couch.... I have a spare bedroom you can stay in, or you can have my bed and I'll sleep there.” Kurt was okay with either. He wanted Blaine to be comfortable. “Although, my bed is a king size, and we'd have lots of room.” Kurt told him. He wanted Blaine to be as comfortable as possible. He brushed some of the curls off Blaine's forehead. He thought that they could do this if they did it right. Kurt was determined that Blaine never feel uncomfortable around him. “What would you prefer?” He asked, as he turned off the tv. Kurt stood up, offering Blaine his hand. Blaine hesitated, and then took it. Kurt laced his fingers through his, and led him to the stairs. They went up the stairs. Kurt stopped at the top, so they could discuss where they were sleeping. He stroked the skin on the back of his hand with his thumb. “What do you want, honey?” Kurt asked, as they stood there. He tried to sound calm, he didn't want Blaine to be freaked out. It was best to go slowly.

That was a hard question to answer. He wanted to be normal and actually sleep in the same bed as his boyfriend. “Um, how about we try and sleep in the same bed? I just.... I want to be normal for once in my life. It's not like I can't go sleep in the spare bedroom if I get freaked out.” Blaine felt good about his decision. He looked at Kurt, his hazel eyes wide with sleep. He yawned and wiped his eyes with a balled up fist, reminding his boyfriend of a large child. Blaine looked at Kurt. “Is that okay?” He asked.

Smiling at him, Kurt nodded. “Yes, honey, of course.” Kurt said, and led him to his bedroom. It was decorated in soft blues and white. He led him to the bed. Kurt went to the dresser. “I've got some pjs for you to sleep in, honey.” He said, pulling out a pair of NYU shorts and a matching tee shirt. “Here.” Blaine was shorter than he was, and it was hot outside. He thought it was best that they go with shorts. He handed them to Blaine, and then went to get out his own pjs. A pair of shorts and a tank top. It was as casual as he usually got. Kurt changed, looking at Blaine, who was hesitating. “I'll look away.” He said, doing just that.

Blaine changed, and slid into the bed. It was very soft. He let out a satisfied sigh and pulled the covers over himself. Kurt slid in the bed, too, and Blaine waited for the freakout to happen, but it didn't. Blaine was pleasantly surprised as he settled in the bed, burrowing under the covers. He looked over at Kurt, who was getting comfortable, too. Blaine still waited for the other shoe to drop. If he was going to panic, he wanted it sooner rather than later. He watched as Kurt settled in. Blaine still wasn't sure what was going on. What had just happened? How had Kurt managed to talk him into this? He was going to have to watch out for him in the future. Blaine didn't necessarily think it was bad, just unexpected. Blaine settled in and inched a little closer to Kurt. He felt dwarfed by the huge bed. He inched closer still, until he was right next to Kurt. He tentatively put his arm around Kurt's waist. He felt his eyes drifting shut of their own accord. Blaine was sleepy. He was sure he'd drop off to sleep soon. He laid his head on Kurt's chest, and yawned as he drifted off to dream.

The next morning, Blaine awoke bright and early to the smell of frying bacon. His stomach grumbled. He was hungry. Blaine looked. No Kurt. He must be cooking. Blaine slid out of the bed, and padded down to the kitchen. Blaine saw Kurt moving around, already showered and dressed. Blaine yawned. “You're busy this morning.” He said. He sat down at the table, mostly out of exhaustion. Blaine wasn't sure what he was going to do for the day. He was supposed to go home and watch Aimee so Olivia could go grocery shopping, but that was later. Blaine saw the coffee and got up to get some.

Kurt smiled. “Morning, sleepy head.” He said, as he worked on the scrambled eggs. He had to go into the hospital that day. He leaned and kissed Blaine on the cheek. “I have to go to work, soon, but you can hang out here as long as you want.” He told him, letting Blaine steal some of the bacon. Kurt hummed under his breath as he worked. He loved this. Loved cooking for Blaine. He liked having someone to take care of, it was his mother hen tendencies. “Did you sleep okay?” He asked. He hoped that he had. Kurt didn't know what they were going to do, but it was nice. Blaine had slept the whole night.

Blaine was busy scarfing down bacon and working on his coffee. It all smelled great. He hummed, too, the same song Kurt was humming. Blaine gave him a smile. “I have to be home later, and watch my niece.” He said. “My sister in law needs to get some grocery shopping done.” He sat down again with his coffee. He then got to Kurt's question. “Yeah, I slept really good.” For the first time in a long time. He was surprised that he had been able to sleep all cuddled up to Kurt like that. Blaine wasn't sure that he could even put into words how much that meant to him. Blaine sipped the coffee, on heaven. This was greater than he thought it would be. It was too good to be true. Blaine was soon in bliss when Kurt put down his breakfast in front of him. Eggs, toast, bacon, and home fries. Blaine leaned up to kiss him. “You're going to spoil me.” He said, giving him a smile. Blaine loved this, it was so comfortable. He could get used to it, and then where was he going to be? It was too much. Could they really do this? Have this? He picked up a piece of bacon.

Kurt settled down with his own breakfast. He was glad that Blaine was here. He loved having someone to take care of. It was nice, he and Trip had been broken up for a long time. Kurt didn't miss him. Their living together had been a dumb idea. Kurt still talked to him on occasion, but not very often. Kurt didn't think they could be friends after what had gone down. Trip had cheated on him. Kurt had tried to forgive, but he hadn't been able to. It had been such a betrayal. Kurt looked at Blaine. “You are mine to spoil, sweetheart.” He told him. Kurt's foot found his under the table, and he ran his foot along it. He gave him a grin when Blaine let out a cry of protest. He was trying to eat. Kurt picked up his coffee cup. “It's okay, baby.” Kurt laughed and sipped his coffee. This was all very domestic, and he was surprised Blaine wasn't freaking out. He was glad, though. Blaine seemed incredibly calm as he sat and ate his breakfast. Kurt didn't know what to make of it all. It was all changing on a dime, and he just thought it could change back just as quickly. He didn't want that. They just had to keep going, find out what worked for them. Kurt couldn't give him up now. He just couldn't.

The day was busy for Blaine. He left Kurt's at one, staying around a bit after Kurt left to clean, and then got home so Liv could go. He wasn't shocked to find Aimee waiting for him at the door. She always got upset when they didn't have breakfast together. They spent the afternoon coloring, it was one of Aimee's favorite past times. They colored in some of her coloring books, but she liked to draw, too. Blaine got tired out with her by five, and thankfully her mother got back about then. Blaine went to his room, waiting for supper. Olivia had gotten right to work when she'd gotten home. Blaine lay back on the bed, and then decided to get cleaned up. He needed a shower. He took a long one, the water hot. Blaine wasn't sure when things had started to get better. Besides the fire, that was. Blaine wasn't sure that he was okay with all of this. It felt strange, things going good. Blaine didn't really know how he was going to handle that. He wasn't that used to good things happening. He didn't know how to handle it. It was foreign to him.

When Blaine was out and clean, he went on downstairs. His curly hair fell wet to his shoulders, and he wore a soft pair of cotton shorts and a tank top. He entered the kitchen. Olivia was at the stove, cooking. Aimee was playing on the floor with blocks. Blaine looked at Olivia. “Can I help?” He asked. He usually told him no. Blaine was prepared either way. Blaine just wanted her to let him do something. He didn't mind helping. He got a no, as usual, so he went to set the table. Blaine felt like a leech when he couldn't do anything useful. They let him stay here rent free, he had to do something. It was only fair. They were both generous to a fault. Blaine hummed under his breath. He was also waiting for Olivia to tease him about sleeping over at Kurt's. He was sure it was coming. Especially because he had protested about the date. Blaine had had a lot of fun, though, and he wanted to see were going to go. Blaine was going to have to apologize for being an ass. He had been. Not that he could help some of it. It wasn't all his fault. Some of it was his defense mechanism. He couldn't help it. Although, he tried. Blaine finished with the table and looked up. Aimee was wanting his attention, as usual. He knelt down by her, trying to focus on her.

“So, big night.” Olivia said, looking at him. She was making burgers and fries in the deep fryer. She said, “I noticed that you came home in the same clothes that you had on last night.” She wasn't going to tease him too much, because he wouldn't go again. And he'd clam up. Blaine was hard to handle sometimes. She didn't mind, mostly. Olivia had been reading up on sexual abuse and survivors. She was determined to make sure that she knew how to help him if he needed it. She didn't want him to not have an outlet. “I think that's really great, baby.”

Rolling his eyes, Blaine said, “Yeah, I know.” He hoped that would be the end of the teasing. He wasn't sure he could take any more. He got why she was doing it, though. Blaine helped Aimee build with her blocks. “I.... I slept in the same bed with him all night.” He said, his voice gruff with unshed tears. That said a lot to him, and he knew it would to Olivia. Blaine kissed Aimee when she reached up with a tiny hand to wipe his tears away. She told him not to cry. Blaine had to choke back tears.

Hearing the catch in his voice, Olivia had to fight back tears of her own. Olivia waited and then she was able to say, “I'm so glad, Blaine. I really am.” She said, and turned over the burgers. Olivia could hardly believe how much he had changed since Kurt. He had done so many 360 degree turns. Olivia let her features play in a smile. “I'm so glad that you're happy.” Maybe he'd finally have some good luck.

_I finally kept my pride and hailed a cab_  
those cuttin' words you said   
were the last stab there'll be no tears this time  
they're all dried up no more sweet poison  
I already drank that cup   
But there's a little light glowin'  
Nothin' in this world will ever break my heart again  
Nothin' in this world will ever break my heart again  
No pain this life will put me through   
will ever ever hurt like you  
Don't need a miracle a superhero  
there's only one way up when you're at zero  
You took my innocence but it was knowin'  
no I don't need you and that made me a woman  
I paid my dues but that's a debt I'm done payin'  
I'm standin' strong but I'm still on my knees prayin' 

_Nothin' in this world will ever break my heart again_  
Nothin' in this world will ever break my heart again  
No pain this life will put me through   
will ever ever hurt like you 

_Nothin' in this world will ever break my heart again_  
Nothin' in this world will ever break my heart again  
No pain this life will put me through  
will ever ever hurt like you 

Author's note: Hope ya'll liked! The song used is from Nashville, it's by Hayden Pantierre. Ugh. It's a good song though, she sings great. Just dislike her AND her character.


	3. For Your Glory

Chapter Three: For Your Glory

_Fighting for the things you give me_  
I want to share your love  
feeling like a wounded soldier   
strength is not enough  
and I can’t win this battle on my own 

_The sword has been buried_  
piled on with dirt  
Speak to me your promises  
resurrect your word ‘cuz I can’t win   
this battle on my own no I can’t win   
this battle on my own 

_I’ll rise up and be your voice_  
I made my choice, this is my story  
Your songs are stored inside my heart  
So break me apart  
It’s for your glory, let it pour out of me  
let it pour out of me, it’s for your glory  
So ride out on your wings of love  
Show me that you’re here  
Cut down on my enemies trembling with fear  
‘cuz I can’t win this battle on my own, no  
I can’t win this battle on my own 

_I’ll rise up and be your voice_  
I made my choice, this is my story  
Your songs are stored inside my heart  
So break me apart  
It’s for your glory 

_I’ll rise up and be your voice_  
I made my choice, this is my story  
Your songs are stored inside my heart  
So break me apart  
It’s for your glory  
Let it pour out of me  
Let it pour out of me  
Let it pour out of me  
It’s for your glory 

It had been three weeks since they’d seen each other. Not on purpose. Blaine had been busy with the contractor, and Kurt had been at the hospital almost round the clock. Someone had been fired, and Kurt had been the one to take over. He was ready to fall over. One morning, he got home, and there was an elaborate breakfast on the table. And Blaine in just a pair of gray boxers by the table, pouring coffee. “Blaine, this is so sweet. I didn’t expect this.” He had given him a key, just in case he ever wanted to give himself a break and have a place to go. Kurt was so glad that he was using the key. Kurt hadn’t fully expected him to. He ran his hand through his brown hair. He wanted to shower, but he smelled the food, and he had to eat. Kurt was so glad to see him. He dropped onto one of the kitchen chairs, giving him a smile. “You are too good to be true.” He said. Kurt reached for the eggs, to start putting some on his plate. There was also toast, home fries, French toast, and fresh fruit. Kurt couldn’t believe that Blaine had done all this. 

Blaine poured Kurt some coffee. “It’s decaf, so you won’t stay up once you finally get to bed.” He sat down, pulling out his own plate, and grabbing some French toast and blueberries. He had made the syrup, too. His mother had taught him. Blaine had just wanted to do something for Kurt, he knew that he had been working too hard lately. He had to admit, he was glad to be here. Blaine had spent the night here, he had needed a night away from his family for awhile. They also deserved some time away from him. Blaine had been surprised that he had come here. But he was glad, too. He had to get used to being around Kurt. They hadn’t seen each other in awhile, he wanted to fix that. They really clicked well, and Blaine liked that. He looked at Kurt as he got some toast. “I just wanted to do something for you. You have been working so hard lately.” It was true, every time he tried to call or text him, Kurt was working. Blaine thought the hospital was working him way too hard. He had been at the hospital almost nonstop. Blaine was really proud of Kurt. He was such a hard worker. He really admired that. It was sexy.

Kurt filled his plate. And took a bite. “I love it, it was so sweet.” He said. “Plus, you are an amazing cook, it tastes delicious.” He honestly didn’t know what he would do without Blaine right now. He was being incredibly sweet at the moment. It was amazing. He didn’t know what to talk about, he was so tired. Kurt could barely remember his own name right now. He didn’t mind that, it was good to be here with Blaine. He ate some more of his breakfast. The only thing missing was bacon. Kurt loved bacon, possibly more than he loved any other meat. “You just should have made bacon.” He said, chuckling. He did his best to make sure that his tone sounded joking. Kurt was really touched about this. It was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for him. Kurt couldn’t believe how delicious this was. He didn’t know if his waistline was going to like it, but he was going to enjoy eating it. He looked at Blaine. “So, how is your family? I’ve missed hearing about Aimee.” This was true. He was sure that she was an adorable baby girl. All he could think about when he thought about her was Blaine. He was wondering if the little girl still looked like him. Kurt sipped his coffee. That was good, too, almost as good as Starbucks.

“I’ll remember bacon next time.” Blaine said, grinning a little. He was so glad that Kurt was enjoying breakfast. Blaine was going to have to go in a bit, he had a meeting with the contractor again. Blaine was trying to get him to agree to a start date. There were issues. Blaine just wanted to get him to agree to get going. He was excited to get to try and decorate his place. He still loved being with his family, but he was anxious for his own place. Especially since he was doing really good on his furniture. He was just about done. It was his biggest accomplishment. He wasn’t sure if he could wait too much longer. He was going crazy. He wanted to start the work. “Can… I’ve planned out all of the interior design for my house, and I was wondering if you would want to give me your opinion about it.” Blaine really did care about Kurt’s opinion. He was hoping that Kurt would have a good idea about what he had picked. It was very important to him. Blaine took a bite of his eggs. He had been so glad to do something for Kurt. Especially since they’d not really seen a lot of each other lately.

That made Kurt grin widely. He loved things like that. It was one of the reasons that he was alive. Kurt would have gone into interior decorating if he hadn’t become a nurse. He couldn’t imagine any other career than the one he had, though. He loved helping people. It was such a rush. Plus, he was good at it. “I would love to help you! I live for stuff like that.” It was true, too. Kurt was so bubbly now. He hoped that he’d still be able to go to sleep. Kurt was very punch drunk. It was something that he was used to. He was always that tired from work. Kurt didn’t know how he was going to spend all the extra money from the extra shifts. He of course had some put back for bills, but he was killing it in over time. Kurt was so glad that he was so covered, after he stopped being so tired, he’d appreciate having all the extra cash. Maybe he could get something for Blaine. He would love to, and he had already done the responsible thing. Kurt drank some more of his coffee. He was really enjoying himself. This was one of the best mornings he’d ever had. Kurt couldn’t help but grin. He was so happy he thought he might burst at the seams. “We can take a look after I sleep.”

That made him relax a little. Blaine was relieved that Kurt was going to help. Blaine couldn’t believe that he hadn’t freaked out since he’d been here. That was good. It was momentous. Blaine thought that he might have to give himself a reward. He was dying for some chocolate. He wasn’t always that into it. Blaine hadn’t had any in awhile though. That was why he was jonesing. It was time to have some. Blaine could hardly concentrate on anything, he got so lost in Kurt’s blue eyes. They were like the sky. He had never seen so beautiful a man before. Kurt was like a porcelain doll. It was the best thing about him. Blaine put some more food on his plate. It was one of the best meals he’d ever made. Blaine was going to have to do this again. He liked having someone to cook for. It was better than just him. Blaine was starting to really care about Kurt. He was someone that Blaine could really trust. Kurt was the first person outside of his family that that had happened with in a long time. Blaine knew this was progress. “I don’t think I could do it without you. I am so glad you said you’d help.”

Kurt ate some more, feeling better by the minute. He was still tired, but he was glad that Blaine was here. “I can look it all over tomorrow. I plan on falling into bed after breakfast. I wish I could stay awake to hang out with you, but I am thoroughly exhausted. I really hope they hire someone at the hospital, because I can’t do this anymore. I am so ready to pass out. All the time. I am really into the extra cash, but I am ready for a break.” This was most certainly true. Kurt didn’t think he could keep going like that. But he was really a workaholic. Kurt couldn’t help it, he loved work.

That made him smile brightly. “It’s okay. I have a meeting with the contractor, and then I have to watch Aimee for a couple of hours. You can sleep, and then we can get together for dinner.” Blaine said. It seemed so sensible. That was new for him. He was glad that he was being sensible. Plus, it was so domestic and normal. Blaine almost teared up when he thought about it. He was so proud of himself. His family was, too. He couldn’t believe that he was doing so well. Blaine said, “I have to go as soon as I clean up the breakfast dishes. But you can call me in the evening when you wake up and I’ll come over.” He said this without any hint of nervousness. That was real progress.

A few hours later, he was watching Aimee. She was playing with a couple of her Barbie dolls while she watched iCarly on television. Blaine was sitting on the couch and reading a book. He was glad that he had a bit to sit and read a book. He liked to read. It was something that he had always been able to do that took his mind off things. Blaine liked romance novels, funnily enough. They always ended up happy, and he didn’t have to think too much about them. Puck was working, and Olivia had needed to go to the store and she hadn’t wanted to take Aimee. Blaine could get that. Aimee was a handful at the store. She always wanted everything. That was just normal. Blaine didn’t mind watching her. It was usually fun. Aimee was generally pretty well behaved. It made watching her easy. Blaine wasn’t sure what he wanted, if he wanted Kurt to be the one or not. They were having a lot of fun. At least, right now they were. Blaine just hoped that it would continue to yield positive results. He didn’t know how he was really going to keep this up, but he was doing a great job so far. Blaine looked up to check on his niece, who was still playing. Blaine then went back to his book. 

It was right about then that Olivia got home. She headed for the kitchen with the groceries. She enjoyed shopping without Aimee sometimes. She had stopped at Rue 21 to get some clothes. She needed some new jeans. She had gotten three pairs, because she’d had a coupon and they were on sale. She put the groceries away and then went to put away her jeans. Olivia and Puck’s anniversary was coming up. She was trying to think of what to get for him. He was hard to buy for. Olivia wasn’t really sure how extravagant they were making the gifts, either. She had a few things in mind that she could get, maybe, but generally, he didn’t want a lot of money spent on him. At least, by her. He liked to spend that kind of money on himself himself. Olivia took the jeans and hung them on skirt hangers and then in the closet. She grabbed some dirty clothes to start in the washer before she relieved Blaine from his babysitting. She headed down to the first floor, off the kitchen, where the laundry room was. She almost jumped out of her skin when she found her fiancé there, with a golden lab puppy. “Noah!” She shrieked, and then noticed the puppy, and dropped the basket she was carrying. “What did you do?” She cried, as she dropped to her knees, to pet the puppy. The dog licked her face, and wagged its tail. “Oh my God, Noah.” Her face lit up in a smile.

Puck was grinning from ear to ear, also. “It’s a girl, and her name is Daisy.” He laughed as Daisy jumped all over herself trying to get into Olivia’s lap. Puck was glad that they seemed to get along. He didn’t know what was going to end up being his gift, but this was making him over the moon. “Happy anniversary, babe.” He was so glad that she liked Daisy. Olivia squealed and got up, throwing her arms around him. He held her and then stepped back. He kissed her softly. He loved being able to make her happy like that. It was one of his favorite things.

She couldn’t believe he’d gotten her a puppy. That wasn’t ever something that she’d thought would happen. She had to admit, she was over the moon. “Noah, nothing I get you is going to make up for Daisy.” Olivia said, as the dog stayed around her feet, licking her bare feet. Aimee and Blaine both came in from the living room. Olivia turned to her daughter. “Look, Daddy got me a puppy, Ames.” Olivia smiled as Aimee leaned to pet the dog. Daisy was playfully licking her on the face, and Aimee was giggling. Olivia couldn’t believe that her fiancé was so sweet.

Blaine didn’t really know how Puck and Olivia had gotten so lucky, but he was happy for them. Daisy was an adorable dog. Blaine didn’t know if Olivia had something that was as good as that planned for his brother. Blaine leaned down to pet Daisy, too, and she licked his face, her tail wagging. Blaine could hardly believe how adorable she was. “Good job, bro.” Blaine said, as he ran his hand through Daisy’s fur. Her tail was wagging like a motorboat propeller. He stood, and she kept around his feet. Blaine watched as Aimee kept petting her still, but very carefully. She had been taught to pet animals carefully. And Aimee was a very smart girl. Blaine ran his hand through his curls. He was due to text Kurt ad see if he was awake yet. Blaine was busy thinking of what he and Kurt would do for dinner. He didn’t mind cooking again, he just didn’t know what to make. He had a few things that he really knew how to make, that he was really good at. Blaine couldn’t decide if he should cook or pick up something. Kurt was going to be groggy from sleep, and likely to be hungry. Blaine didn’t want him to have to do anything. Daisy was barking and watching Olivia put the laundry in the washer. Blaine looked at Puck. “You make all the men in the world look bad.”

Puck chuckled. “I just love my girl, man.” He said, grinning as he put his arm around her waist. He twirled her around, her long hair flying. She giggled. Puck had a plan to take her out, too, to a really great dinner. And a movie. Puck had surprised himself with the level of commitment he had made with her. Puck had had a bit of a reputation in high school. He hadn’t been one to settle down. This was in the short time before he and Olivia had begun dating. He’d been in denial about his feelings for her. But once he’d finally admitted it, they’d been inseparable ever since. Puck and Olivia had been together for eight years, and he knew how rare that was. You didn’t meet your soulmate when you were five years old. Except them. Puck didn’t really know what his life might have been like without her. He was sure he’d have been a lot worse off, that was for sure. Puck gave her a swat on the butt. She giggled. Puck looked at her. “Let’s get a pizza or something for dinner, babe. It’s still too hot to mess with making it hot in here.” Puck knew that Blaine was going back to Kurt’s, for which he was grateful.

That sounded good to Olivia. There was only one place that delivered to the rez. Olivia led them all out to the kitchen. Aimee went to help her father get some puppy chow for Daisy. Olivia was finding it hard to be anything but happy right now. Especially since Blaine was doing better. Olivia went to the coupon drawer to get out the pizza parlor coupons. They called there just enough that they knew the workers. Olivia had even worked there in high school. That had been fun for her. She’d gotten a lot of tips, partly because of her being Puck’s girlfriend, and partly because she had always been hot. A lot of the guys in high school had hit on her, but they always ended up regretting it. Olivia hadn’t minded the attention, it was just second nature to her. She pulled up the internet on her phone, to order. “Blaine’s going to Kurt’s, so we don’t have to worry about him.” She said. She sounded very glad about this. Olivia had been only eleven when Blaine had been attacked, and she hadn’t known how to handle it. Olivia hadn’t been able to get how someone had been able to do that to someone like Blaine, who had always been a nice, friendly kid. Olivia cycled through the web page, getting a couple of pizzas, with mushrooms, bacon, pepperoni, and extra cheese.

Speaking of Blaine, he had gotten out his own phone, so he could text Kurt. He said, “I don’t know when I’m going yet, so I might be here for a bit. Kurt’s probably still sleeping. The hospital hs been working him really hard.” Blaine thought that it really wasn’t fair. He understood why they had to do it, but that didn’t mean that he liked it. Blaine didn’t want Kurt to have to work so hard. It meant Kurt was tired all the time. Blaine didn’t really think that he could ever work that hard. He supposed he did on the months he was working, but since he taught first grade, he didn’t have as many homework pages to grade. Blaine already had half his lesson plans done. He was trying to make sure that he was ready for the year. Blaine liked to be prepared. It was just easiest for him. It helped him have less work. He loved being a teacher. He had worked really hard to get where he was. Blaine texted Kurt, asking him if he was okay and awake. Blaine put his phone on the counter, not wanting to be too eager. He had to admit, he had never really been eager. About anything, really. Especially boys.

“Yeah, they’re short handed.” Olivia said, as she got out some paper plates. “Ya’ll want any salad?” She asked. She was great at tossing them. She thought maybe they should have some. Olivia was trying to make sure that Aimee got some veggies once in awhile. Aimee was a very picky eater. It was hard to get her to eat certain things sometimes. She wasn’t one of those mothers who was going to make her child eat things she didn’t like. Olivia didn’t think that that was a good idea. She didn’t know if she could really get anywhere if she did that. She didn’t want to be that kind of mama. She put down some cups. “Kurt will be fine, Blaine. You just have to relax. They’ll find someone to help.” Olivia didn’t think that it was wrong or Blaine to be concerned, but that could happen when you were a nurse. Or a doctor. Kurt didn’t have much of a choice. She was glad that Blaine cared, though. They were glad that Blaine cared so much about someone. She watched as Aimee played with Daisy, who was done eating. She still couldn’t believe that Puck had gotten her a dog. She had always wanted one, and she had just never gotten a chance to get one. She didn’t really know how she had gotten so lucky to get to have Puck in her life. She thought she was lucky that he had looked at her twice. She was happy to be with him.

“You can make salad if you want, babe.” Puck told her. He wondered if Blaine was really serious about Kurt. He hoped so. He hadn’t always been accepting o Blaine’s being gay. He had been shocked when he had come out. It hadn’t been something that he had been expecting. Puck had been surprised that Blaine had had the courage to come out, too. They were in the South, it was almost impossible to not get beat up. He had been very concerned that that was going to happen to Blaine. He had been unsure what to do about it. Puck had had some time that he used to try and accept Blaine. He hadn’t wanted Blaine to know the sting of not being accepted. Or to have to defend him from some jackass redneck. He didn’t mind, of course, but it wasn’t something that he relished. He was a father now, too, and shouldn’t do such stupid things. Puck looked at Blaine. “Are you really into Kurt?” He asked. He hoped that he was. Puck really thought that he deserved to be happy. He had struggled so much, and he deserved to be happy and settled in a relationship. Puck had to admit, he had almost killed the guy who had hurt Blaine. And they had been 13 years old. Puck had hated that his brother was hurt.

That was a hard question for Blaine to answer. He did really care about Kurt, but he didn’t want to admit it out loud. Things were going so well, he didn’t want to jinx it. He wanted to do his best not so screw things up. Blaine looked at him. “Yeah. I guess so.” Blaine ran his hand through his curls. “I hope that things work out.” Blaine didn’t think that he could do it. Blaine was sure that he was going to end up making Kurt hate him. He normally wasn’t so insecure. He had to learn not to be. Blaine had to shape up so he didn’t lose Kurt. This self pitying thing wasn’t helpful, either. He knew that it wasn’t very attractive. Blaine checked his phone again. Kurt hadn’t texted back yet. He was officially pathetic. Blaine didn’t really know what to do about that. He shouldn’t be surprised, Kurt was still sleeping. Blaine didn’t blame him, really. He had been working crazy hours. Blaine reached to pull his hair back. It was getting incredibly hot. He didn’t know if he should keep his hair long. It had just been habit to keep it growing. Blaine didn’t really think that he could cut it, he had been growing it for two years. He didn’t know how he had had the patience to grow it out. He didn’t usually have the patience for that kind of thing. 

Meanwhile, Kurt was waking up. He had slept all day. He felt groggy. Kurt was glad that he’d gotten so much sleep though. Kurt ran a hand through his brown hair, and went down to get coffee. He shuffled to the coffeemaker. He had a text from Blaine, and Kurt didn’t know what to say to him. Kurt knew he had to say something, since they were supposed to get together. He just needed to wake up a little, and he wanted to shower. Kurt didn’t want to be too casual with it. He was just wanting to be prepared. Kurt didn’t like to not be prepared. He liked to just know and have everything in control. Kurt picked up his cell phone and texted Blaine back. I am awake, babe, you can come over in a little while after I shower. Okay? Kurt poured his coffee and went to get some creamer and some sugar. He settled down at the table, and wondered if he should add a bagel or something. He wasn’t really hungry at the moment. Kurt didn’t want to spoil his appetite for whatever he was going to cook for him. Kurt was fine with Blaine coming over, things had been going great lately.

Kurt tightened his robe. The air conditioning was on, and it was a little chilly. He didn’t want to go into work anytime soon. He had to go in a couple of days. Kurt had worked so much in the past three weeks that he was burned out on working for a very long time. He didn’t know how he was going to keep going like this without a break. Kurt didn’t know how h would handle it. He was so driven, but he was so tired of working so hard. He had expected to work a lot though, that’s what you had to do when you took a job in his field. Kurt had decided on a bagel and some cream cheese. He figured it couldn’t hurt to have a small, light breakfast. He was just a tad hungry. He just hoped that he wasn’t going to end up ruining his appetite. Kurt wished that he could stop focusing so much on Blaine. It was completely pathetic. He didn’t know how he was going to end up keeping him with this crazy obsessing. Kurt just couldn’t help himself. Blaine was incredibly hot. He was a catch. Even with all of his hang-ups and issues. Kurt was willing to put up with all of that. He wasn’t sure that he was ready to deal with it, but he was going to give it his best shot. If only he’d known how wrong he was.

That evening, they were making out hardcore. Blaine was enjoying himself immensely. He was very surprised. Kurt was on top of him, and his hands were in Blaine’s hair. Their lengths were rubbing against each other. Blaine’s hands were around Kurt’s waist, slipping up the back of his shirt, stroking the soft skin on the small of his back. Blaine was wondering if and when he was going to freak out. He didn’t want to, and he was hoping that he wouldn’t. Blaine was sucking on Kurt’s bottom lip, his heart practically pounding out of his chest.

Honestly, Kurt was surprised that Blaine had wanted to make out. But he had been glad. He was enjoying himself. Kurt didn’t know if they were going to have sex or not, but this was just fine. Kurt was enjoying kissing him, Blaine tasted amazing. They had eaten a delicious dinner of spaghetti and garlic bread, and that was when they’d put in a movie. It hadn’t been long before they had started to make out. Kurt could hardly get his breath under control. Blaine was making him so hard. He hoped that if they were going to stop, it would be in enough time.

“Oh, Kurt….” Blaine murmured, trying to catch his breath. He pulled back to look at Kurt. His blue eyes were so beautiful. Blaine was suddenly transported back to the month he had spent in that locked room, with only the blue ceiling to look at. He gasped and his eyes filled with tears. Blaine pushed Kurt off in a hurry. Blaine buried his head in his hands, and started to shake. Kurt immediately put his arm around him, rubbing his back. Blaine shuddered, trying to calm down. “I’m so sorry, Kurt.” He said, even though he knew that he couldn’t help it. It was a miracle he had made it this far.

“Don’t apologize, baby. It’s okay.” Kurt said softly, as he kissed Blaine’s cheek. “You can’t help it. I understand.” Kurt wished that he could take all of his pain away. He knew that he couldn’t. It wasn’t fair at all that someone had done that to someone as sweet as Blaine. Blaine was so wonderful. Kurt’s own eyes brushed with tears. “I wish I could do more for you. It’s got to be the worst thing that you’ve ever been through, that anyone’s ever been through. I want you to know that you are always going to have me. I will never abandon you. You can lean on me for whatever you need.” Kurt ran his hand over Blaine’s back, and pulled him closer. Kurt held him while he worked on calming down. He murmured that it was okay the whole time.

Soon, Blaine had calmed down. He was really grateful to Kurt for being so great. It was nice to be able to lean on him. Blaine finally caught his breath, and let out a soft sigh. “You are too good to me.” He said, and he meant it. Blaine didn’t really didn’t know how he was ever going to repay him for his generosity. Blaine reached for a cookie. He had made chocolate chip cookies to bring over. Blaine bit into it, trying to calm himself. He was glad to be here with him, and he was glad that Kurt was being so great about things. “I don’t deserve you. I have too many issues and hang-ups. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to just be with someone, and you took a chance on me when you didn’t have to. I don’t know how or why you did that, but I am so very glad. And grateful. You are a very good person, Kurt Hummel, and I hope no one ever tells you differently.” Blaine kept his head buried in Kurt’s shoulder, just glad to be in his arms. He was glad that they could be together and he was glad that he hadn’t freaked out right away. Blaine didn’t know what movie they were watching, but he didn’t care. It was something that he could just zone out on. 

That was way too kind of Blaine to say, but he was glad that he had said it. “Thanks, that is very kind of you to say.” Kurt said, as he kept up the rubbing he was doing on Blaine’s back. He wasn’t sure what they were watching, but he was glad if it made Blaine happy. “Do you want to stay the night again? You know you can. I am glad to have your company.” Kurt said. Kurt couldn’t help himself, he grabbed a cookie. He was glad that Blaine had made them. They were really good. Kurt didn’t have as much time to bake as he would have liked. He was always working. It was something he had worked for for a very long time. School had been very tedious. He was glad that he had gotten through it though. It was going to be so worth it in the end. Kurt liked this. It felt great. Just sitting here and cuddling with Blaine. Kurt hadn’t had that in a long time. Not since before he and Trip had broken up. Kurt hadn’t been sorry to see him go. He really hadn’t. Trip had been a complete ass. Kurt didn’t want to ever be around him ever again. Trip had cheated on him, too. That had been the worst part about it. He didn’t want to ever have to deal with anything like that ever again. He didn’t really think that Blaine would do that to him. He was very grateful for Blaine. “My dad’s been asking after you.” 

That gave Blaine pause, but he told himself to calm down. He didn’t want to get upset. It’s not like Kurt’s dad was going to be a jerk. Plus, Blaine had to get over his issues with men. He hadn’t really dealt with it just yet. He was okay with men he’d known for a long time, like Olivia’s dad, but sometimes meeting new men could flip him out. Blaine figured that this was going to be good practice. “That’s great.” He finally said, and was glad to find that he meant it. Blaine really thought that it would be nice to meet Kurt’s parents. He didn’t know what to do in that situation, because he’d never been in it before, but there were books. Blaine could read up on it. That was always a good thing. Blaine loved to read. He was already making a mental note to find some books at Amazon. Blaine was so looking forward to the time he could spend browsing. He could get something for Kurt, too. Blaine bit into another cookie. He looked at him. “I can’t… I can’t wait to meet your parents.” Blaine said. “I… I have to admit, I’m nervous about it, but I want to meet them. I just… I have issues with men. I have to work on that.” Blaine hoped that he’d be able be calm about it. At least he could prepare.

“You can be nervous if you want. It’s okay, I don’t want toy to be uncomfortable. They’ll understand, too.” Kurt said. He ran his hand through Blaine’s curls. He liked it so much better naturally. Kurt still couldn’t get the idea of kids with those curls out of his head. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to have kids. Kurt would with Blaine, though. That was probably something that had to bother him, because it was a bit too soon, but he wasn’t bothered at all. He was glad to be with him. Kurt was glad that Blaine was still calm, and he said, “I am willing to meet your family, too.” Kurt actually couldn’t wait to meet Blaine’s niece. He was sure she was adorable. He was sure he’d met the girl’s mom before, though, at least once. Kurt thought she was a beautiful woman. He didn’t know Blaine’s brother, but he’d seen him once before. His company did a lot of construction work around the town. Kurt had only seen him on occasion. They’d never spoken. “I am sure they’re wonderful people.” Kurt yawned despite himself. He wasn’t even tired. He thought he might be able to fall asleep when Blaine was ready for bed, though, because he hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep lately. Not to mention, he wanted to be there for Blaine. Blaine seemed to sleep much better when he was with Kurt. Kurt was glad to do that for him. He glanced down at him, and noticed he was asleep.

It was a couple of hours later, and Kurt was reading Elle, and Blaine was buried under the covers, asleep. Kurt was going to finish Elle and then go to sleep, too. Blaine was deeply asleep, Kurt had barely been able to get him upstairs and into bed, he had been so tired. Kurt was glad he was so deeply asleep. Blaine said he’d had problems with falling asleep lately. He was doing his best to not move around a lot so he wouldn’t jostle Blaine. He liked hearing Blaine’s even breathing. He was surprised when Blaine awoke, freaking out and reaching for him. Kurt immediately put down his magazine and put his arms around Blaine. He murmured that it was okay, and ran his hand through Blaine’s curls soothingly. He was sure that Blaine had had a nightmare. Kurt murmured that he was there for him, and held him until Blaine fell back to sleep. Kurt kept his arm around Blaine, and picked up his magazine again. Kurt ran his free hand along the page, as his other hand stroked Blaine’s back. He really wished he could make things easier for him. Kurt felt a little more relieved when Blaine’s breathing evened out.

It was another hour later, and Kurt was deep in a sleep when Blaine awoke again, with a yell. Kurt had kept his arm around Blaine when he’d fallen asleep. Kurt woke, he was a little groggy. Blaine had tears on his sweaty face. Blaine buried his face in Kurt’s chest. He sobbed on him, Kurt holding him tightly. Blaine hadn’t woken up this many times in one night in awhile. He’d had trouble sleeping, but once he was asleep, he was okay. This was completely hellish, and he knew it was because of what had happened before. Blaine wished he could sleep, he was so tired. He’d never have thought that this would happen while he was at Kurt’s. Blaine held onto him tightly, trying to breathe. He didn’t know if he was ever going to be able to get through this. Blaine was tired of feeling this way. He was tired of constantly feeling like he had an elephant on his chest. He hated this. It was the worst feeling in the entire world. He sighed and hiccupped, he was so upset. He took a shuddery breath as he tried to relax. Blaine slowly lifted his head, and looked at Kurt. “I’m going to get one of my sleeping pills.” He said, and got up. He kept some here and he kept some at home. He tried not to use them if he didn’t need them. Blaine went to the master bathroom and got one of his pills, and took it with some water. He went back to the bedroom.

Kurt was still trying to get his bearings. He looked up when Blaine came back in, and opened the covers for him. “I’m sorry, honey, I wish that I could help.” Kurt said, as Blaine crawled back into bed, and crawled back up to him. Kurt put his arms around him, and closed his eyes, murmuring to Blaine that it would be okay. Kurt was falling back to sleep almost immediately. He loved the way that Blaine smelled. He could smell that smell every day and be happy. Kurt held onto Blaine, and soon both of their breathing evened out. Kurt started dreaming. He was dreaming about a house, and there were two little children, a boy and a girl. One of them was pale as Kurt was, and the other was Native American, like Blaine. They were running over the yard, and it was sunny and beautiful. Kurt and Blaine were sitting on the porch, drinking lemonade. They were holding hands. A dog was sitting on the porch with them. It was a black lab puppy. Kurt was smiling, and squeezing Blaine’s hand. They were incredibly happy. Kurt’s thumb was running over the back of Blaine’s hand. The kids were running in the sprinkler. The house was sprawling. It was a good dream.

They both slept till noon the next day, and Blaine woke to an empty bed. Kurt was in the bathroom. Blaine was a little groggy. He wiped his face, trying to wake up. He got out of bed, grabbing the pair of pants he’d brought to keep here. They were soft sweat pants. Blaine pulled them on, they sat low on his hips. You could see the tail of hair that disappeared into his elastic waistband. Blaine had a tee of chest hair that he did his best to maintain. He needed coffee. Blaine went down to the kitchen, and went to the coffee maker. He started it, and then Kurt came into the kitchen. Blaine’s curls were hanging in his eyes. “Morning.”

Kurt leaned and gave him a kiss. Then he went to get out something to fix to eat. Kurt didn’t know when he had slept so well. He hoped that Blaine had slept better. “Did you get any sleep, baby?” He asked, as he put some bagels in the toaster. Blaine just nodded as he got out some cream cheese. Kurt got out some creamer for the coffee. He yawned. He assumed that it was just a reflex, because it had been a very good night’s sleep. Kurt got out some fresh fruit. He liked to eat fruit in the morning. “I am glad that you got some sleep.” Kurt said, and he really meant it. Blaine looked better, too. He looked like he had finally gotten some sleep. Kurt didn’t know how he managed to get by on so little sleep.

Blaine didn’t know what was going to help him sleep better. He really wanted to get through this. Blaine just didn’t exactly know how yet. Maybe Kurt would help him figure it out.

 

_**Author’s note: Hope ya’ll liked! I promise that it won’t all be angsty, but Blaine has a long way to go.** _


	4. Just A Kiss

Chapter Four: Just A Kiss

The beginning of July brought the accident that changed all of their lives forever. Finn was in a car accident, and had passed away. They were all in shock. Especially Rachel and Kurt. Kurt had finally had a family, and now part of it was gone. Kurt didn’t know how to get through this. Blaine was being great. Kurt couldn’t do this without him. He had taken some time off work, even though they were short staffed. Kurt didn’t know how to feel this. It was too big a loss. Kurt hadn’t left his place in a month. It was now August and almost time for his boyfriend to go back to work. Kurt hadn’t really been letting him in a lot, he didn’t know how to handle that. If he let Blaine in, then he’d have to admit that it had happened, and that wasn’t something that he was prepared to do. Kurt was lying on the couch, watching something stupid on television. He wasn’t really sure what it was. Something that Finn had used to like. Thinking of him in past tense was incredibly strange. He heard the doorbell, and wondered who it was. He got up. Kurt was still in his pjs, and he had showered but his hair was limp and he hadn’t done anything to it. When he opened the door, he found his father. “Dad?” He asked. Kurt hadn’t been expecting him.

Burt mostly didn’t blame Kurt for still being locked in his house. The loss was still a bit of a shock. Especially since Finn had been so young. Still under 25. It just wasn’t fair. Burt missed him too. “Well, are you going to let me in, kiddo?” He asked, and Kurt stepped back. Burt was very surprised to see the place wasn’t cleaned to within an inch of its life. Even when Kurt had been grieving for his mother, he had kept his room clean. Burt was really not sure what made this different. Burt wasn’t a neat freak, but he picked up a few things as he followed Kurt to the living room. His son curled back up on the couch. He was watching a rerun of American Chopper, one of Finn’s favorite shows. Kurt really didn’t like it. Burt thought it was just an easy way for him to connect. Burt carried the dishes to the kitchen and started the dishwasher. Burt was mostly there to talk, and one of the subjects was Blaine. The boy was starting to retreat into himself again because he didn’t have Kurt anymore. They were technically still dating, but he hadn’t spoken to Blaine in two weeks. Burt thought that Kurt should let him in.

“What are you doing here, Dad?” Kurt asked. He was sure that he didn’t want a lecture right now. Kurt was aware that he had to start living again. He knew that. Kurt right now didn’t really care. Things weren’t fair. He was finding himself angry at God all over again. What kind of God would take his brother from him like that? Who was so young and was married with children? It just wasn’t right. Kurt watched as his father straightened up some more. “I was fine with it messy, Dad.” Kurt commented, not sure why his dad was so concerned with how clean it was. Right now he just couldn’t care. 

“I know that you’re still grieving. We all are.” Burt said, clearing his throat. Burt sat down on the armchair and turned off the television. It was serious talk time. He ignored his son’s protests. “Look, Kurt, I know this is hard. I know that. It’s death and it’s never easy. But you haven’t spoken to Blaine in two weeks. I don’t know if you’re trying to push him away, but he needs you just as much as you need him. I may have been skeptical of this relationship at first, but it’s the right thing for both of you. You are right for each other. This is something that I have been waiting for you to have since you broke up with that Trip asshole.” Burt had wanted to kill that kid.

That surprised him. Kurt hadn’t expected that. He had expected to hear that he should get back to work and stop wallowing. Not about his relationship with Blaine, which Kurt wasn’t even sure that Burt had been behind. Kurt supposed that that was a good thing. That his dad was behind his relationship. If you could call it that anymore. He wasn’t sure that you could. Kurt hadn’t talked to him in awhile. “Dad, I appreciate your concern, I do. But I can handle my own love life.” Kurt ignored the Trip comment, mostly because he felt the same. “I am sure that Blaine understands.” Kurt actually wasn’t sure that that was true. Kurt was sure that Blaine was probably upset. Kurt felt guilty. He should be trying harder with Blaine. Kurt knew that Blaine was putting himself out there with him. Kurt really had to be more mindful of that. Kurt had to be better with him. Kurt was being a terrible boyfriend and he knew it. Kurt was going to have to do something. “Dad, it’s not like I can help it. My brother is dead.” Kurt just couldn’t help himself. He was going to end up losing Blaine too, and he couldn’t handle that right now. There was just something about his dad reprimanding him.

Burt fixed him with a glare. He knew that Kurt was dealing with a lot, but so was Blaine. Burt wasn’t here on Blaine’s say so, either. He was here on his own volition. Blaine would be very upset if he knew Burt was here. He couldn’t believe how selfish Kurt was being right now. It was so unlike him. Burt adjusted his cap and looked at him. “I can’t believe that you’re being this selfish right now, Kurt. Blaine is your boyfriend and he needs you. You are a mother hen. That’s what you do. You need to at least call Blaine. You need to work through this together. You need to be leaning on each other. Right now is the time to do so. If you can’t lean on each other, who can you lean on?” Burt really wanted Kurt and Blaine to work things out. Blaine had never had a boyfriend before. He had chosen Kurt. And Kurt would be really good for him, too. Burt just hated that Kurt was pushing him away right now. That was not good. Blaine deserved all of Kurt. “You need to be the kind of man that Blaine needs.” Burt told him. “You have to let him be there for you. He wants to be. He’s tried to call you, you know. And you haven’t responded. You have been holed up in here and you’ve been grieving, but you have to start getting back to your life now.”

It was frustrating because Kurt knew that he was right. Kurt had been incredibly selfish. “Dad, I know that you’re right…” He hedged. Kurt sighed. There was going to be no end to this conversation until he admitted that he was wrong. Kurt was wrong, and he knew it. He briefly wondered if Blaine had asked him to come. That was curious. Kurt reached for his wine glass. He was drinking a bit more than usual. Kurt was sure that it was a bad idea. He was sure that h was going to turn into an alcoholic if he didn’t stop. Kurt finished the wine in there and then leaned back on the couch. “I will call him, okay? I promise.” Kurt really hoped that his dad would go now. Kurt loved his dad, he really did. But seeing him right now was reminding him of Finn, and he really couldn’t handle that. Kurt was reminded of him a lot lately. Kurt really hoped that would stop soon. At least, till he could handle it. Kurt wondered when that would happen. “I will call him asap.” He promised. Burt was still sitting there. Was he going to sit there until he called Blaine? Kurt sighed and picked up his cell phone. He texted Blaine, to tell him that he wanted to see him. Kurt didn’t expect to hear back.

It was vibrating on the table. His phone. Blaine was hanging out in the living room, Olivia was making sure that Aimee was behaving. She was coloring on the floor. Blaine was reading. He’d taken to staying at home since Kurt had stopped calling and texting. Blaine supposed he understood why, but he still didn’t like it. He wanted Kurt to contact him. Blaine really missed him. He always wanted to see him. Blaine really missed him. He always wanted to see him. Blaine ran his hand over his hair. He missed Kurt more than he’d ever missed anyone. Blaine ran his hand over the page of his book. Blaine picked up the phone and looked at it. Hey baby, I’d love to see you. The text was all he’d wanted for two weeks now, and he was wanting to ignore it. Blaine ran his thumb over the keypad, as if debating, and then decided to ignore it. Olivia looked at him. Blaine looked back at her. “I am not going to text him back, Olivia.” Blaine told her defiantly. Blaine turned his gaze back to his book. He was catching up on Stephen King. Blaine ran his hand over his leg as he did his best to ignore Olivia, who was still staring at him. “He hasn’t been contacting me lately, and I am not happy with him. I can’t do what he wants. Not right now.” Blaine really wasn’t in the mood to listen to Kurt making excuses. Blaine wasn’t going to get hurt again. And that was what was going to happen.

“This is a shit time for both of you.” She said. Olivia didn’t really know how any of them could handle anymore hurt. And she did understand why Blaine was so upset. Blaine had been opening himself up to Kurt, and he had begun pulling away. Olivia thought it was incredibly hard. She just thought that it was the worst time for Blaine to start being pissy with Kurt. Right now Kurt needed him as much as Blaine needed Kurt. Olivia really thought now was the time they needed to be relying on each other. Olivia hadn’t seen Rachel in awhile, either, but that wasn’t a shock. Olivia cast her blue eyed gaze o Aimee, who was still quietly playing. She looked back to Blaine. “Look, right now is not the time to be pissy with Kurt. You shouldn’t break up with him right now. After you lose someone is not the time to make major decisions. You have to wait. Let things play out. You are finally happy. Maybe not right now, but you were. And that is worth something. Whether you want to admit it or not. You and Kurt are supposed to work things out, Blaine. And I’m not just saying that because I want you to. I really believe it. You two have a real chance, you just have to work at it.”

Blaine listened, but he stubbornly kept his gaze on his book. He wasn’t going to text Kurt back. Not right now. Let him worry like Blaine had been. He hadn’t been able to sleep with worry for him. Blaine had gone over, too, and Kurt hadn’t let him in. Blaine had started to give up. He was tired of trying and being rejected. It was more than he could handle. Blaine wasn’t setting himself up for rejection anymore. He couldn’t handle it. His first love was not supposed to go this way. Blaine was supposed to be happy. It just wasn’t happening. Blaine didn’t blame Kurt completely, though. He knew that Kurt couldn’t help what had happened to Finn. Blaine didn’t blame him for being so upset. He was sure if he lost Puck he’d be just as upset. Blaine sighed and still kept to himself. He hadn’t been leaving the house often. Blaine got up and went to his room. He didn’t want to be with them anymore. His phone began vibrating with a call. Blaine was not surprised to see it was Kurt. He debated not picking up, and then he did. “You’ve got a lot of nerve.” He said in lieu of a hello. Blaine didn’t stop there. “You haven’t tried to contact me in two weeks. I have been worried about you. I didn’t even know if you were alive or dead! How am I supposed to forgive you? I am your boyfriend, Kurt.” 

Once Kurt could get in a word edgewise, he apologized. “I’m sorry, Blaine. I really am. I haven’t been handling things well. I know that.” Kurt said. He didn’t know what else to say. He had been wrong. Kurt wasn’t being a good boyfriend. He wasn’t even sure he’d blame him if he wanted to break up. Kurt was not supposed to be treating him this way. He let out a breath. “I don’t blame you if you want to break up. I should have been filling you in. I should have been trusting you. I’m sorry I wasn’t. I just… I’ve been having a hard time.” Kurt wasn’t sure what else to say to defend what he had done. Kurt had been terrible to Blaine lately. Kurt wasn’t sure that he deserved him. Not right now. He was sure that Blaine could move on and find anyone better suited for him. Kurt was shit right now. And he knew that. Kurt’s eyes were filling with tears. The words that were bubbling up were killing him to say. “Blaine, maybe we should take a break.” As he said it, his heart broke in a thousand pieces. Kurt didn’t want to take a break, but it was what was best for Blaine right now. If Burt knew he was doing this, he would kill him. “I can’t be what you need right now.”

With those words, Blaine’s heart broke into a million tiny pieces. He had never thought that this would happen. At least not too soon. Blaine hadn’t really thought that he was good enough for Kurt to want to be with long term. Blaine had to take several deep breaths before he could speak again. “What? Are you saying you want to… to break up?” His heart was never going to be the same again. Kurt was his first boyfriend, the first person that he had trusted enough to date. Kurt was.. Blaine thought he could really fall for him. Blaine thought he might already love him. “Kurt…. please.” Blaine said, his voice breaking. Blaine was feeling the room starting to spin, he was going to pass out or have a panic attack. He had not expected this when he’d called him. Blaine took several deep breaths, sticking his head between his legs. “I can’t believe that you’re doing this. And over the phone! Do you think that I’m not strong enough to help you through what you’re going through? I have been through hell and back! I… I am not saying that…. that what you’re going through isn’t hell, but I’ve been through just as bad. Or worse. I can’t…. I can’t just… I can’t just let go knowing that you’re going through this! I will worry about you… I will die not knowing if you’re okay. Don’t do this.”

All of his words stabbed Kurt in the heart. He really hated himself right now for what he had to do. Kurt just knew that he couldn’t go through this and worry about Blaine, too. Kurt really wasn’t himself right now, and he knew it. Kurt knew too that he would regret this later. He couldn’t believe that he had to do this. It was killing him. Especially when he thought of what Blaine might do. But Kurt couldn’t control that. It was out of his hands, as much as he would worry. Kurt let out a shaky breath. He didn’t want to do this, but he had to. It was what needed to be done. “Blaine… I can’t…. I can’t… I can’t deal with all that I have to deal with and your stuff too.” He hated himself as soon as the words were out. Kurt really wanted to take them back as soon as they were out, because he knew how much they would hurt Blaine. He knew that it would be the same as if he’d punched him in the gut. Kurt’s eyes were flowing with tears. This was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. Kurt would hate himself forever for doing it. “It’s…. it’s not a breakup, okay? It’s just… a break.” Kurt knew that was just a technicality. It was a breakup. Blaine’s first one, and he hated that it was him causing it.

The world spun, and Blaine was dangerously close to passing out. “Kurt, if you do this, if you push me away, then that’s it. It’s a breakup.” He said, his voice stronger than he actually felt. Blaine sighed, tears brushing his eyes. “I am not going to sit and wait, and worry about you. I don’t care right now if you like it or not.” Blaine knew that he would later. This was all just anger and shock. Definitely hurt. His heart was pounding out of his chest, and his eyes were so full of tears he could hardly see. Blaine took a few deep breaths, but a panic attack was coming. He didn’t say anymore, because he couldn’t. Blaine hung up, and fell to his knees on the floor, struggling to breathe. He couldn’t, but he did manage to yell out for Olivia. “Liv!” He yelled, as he grabbed at his chest, willing his heart to calm down. It just wasn’t happening. Blaine closed his eyes, and just let himself feel. Blaine felt like his whole world was ending again. Like his whole world was crashing down around his ears. Blaine thought of the knife in his bedside table drawer. He kept it there for protection, even though he knew that he didn’t need it anymore. Blaine managed to make it to the drawer, and slid the knife out. He wasn’t really aware of what he was doing as he slid it along the skin of his wrists.

_One year later_

The sun was high in the August sky. Kurt was leaving work. He and Blaine hadn’t seen each other in a year. Kurt didn’t even know if he was okay. Kurt had known about the suicide attempt, but when he’d called to ask if Blaine had wanted him there, Puck had told him to stay the fuck away. Against his better judgment, he had. Kurt hadn’t been able to handle the idea of losing Blaine anyway. Kurt knew he was still on the rez, and he hadn’t left it very often. Blaine was working out there now. Kurt knew that Blaine didn’t leave the reservation just from the talk of a small town. Kurt didn’t really know if he had a right to go and talk to him. He was getting ready to go to Luke’s, even though he wasn’t really welcome there. Kurt wasn’t one to bitch about that, he had been wrong. He had broken Blaine’s heart. He had been the one to be an asshole and he regretted it to this day. Kurt arrived at Luke’s in record time, and when he got there, he recognized Blaine’s truck. That was surprising. Kurt wondered what he was doing here, even though he knew Blaine had every right to be. Kurt was the intruder here. When he got inside, he was surprised to find Blaine with a baby.

Blaine could tell the minute Kurt walked in because the entire diner looked at him. Blaine’s curls hung in his eyes as he looked back. He wasn’t going to let Kurt being here get to him. Blaine was the one who had been hurt. He kept his hazel eyes on them, and then his met blue ones. Blaine took a deep breath as he met those blue irises. His free hand ran over the scar on his wrist. He had identical ones. Blaine didn’t let himself think about that night very often. It was too painful. Blaine looked away, and turned back to his child. She was half Native American and half white. She was tiny, only a month old. Blaine and the mother were together. Quinn Fabray. She was in the bathroom. Blaine smiled at Beth, who was deeply asleep. He and Quinn both had hazel eyes, so Beth had them. Her skin was like mocha with a touch of milk, and her hair was golden brown. Blaine was completely in love with her. She was gorgeous. Blaine didn’t regret being with Quinn. She was a beautiful girl and he really cared about her. Blaine knew that not all of his problems were going to be gone, but he was still glad he had her. Blaine watched her as she came out of the bathroom and headed back to their booth. Blaine kept his eyes on the diner until everyone went back to their meals and Kurt got a booth. Blaine’s hazel eyes met Quinn’s. “I’m sorry about that.” Quinn was new here, in the last year.

Quinn wasn’t surprised that everyone looked at her when Kurt appeared. Quinn wasn’t sure what to say when she joined her fiancé at his table. She was glad that she had Blaine, he was incredibly hot. And caring, and sweet. And he was so selfish. Quinn ran her hand along the menu. She felt completely accepted in here. It was probably because of it being in Blaine’s family. Quinn also knew that a lot of people in Raleigh had taken Blaine’s side in the whole debacle with Kurt, too. Quinn thought they should have, Kurt had been going through a loss, but it had still been wrong of him. Quinn was still trying to put him back together. She had met him the night he’d tried to kill himself. She had been a new nurse on duty. Quinn had come here to get away from her parents. Her dad wasn’t exactly anything but a douche, and her mother didn’t care about her at all. That was just something Quinn was used to. She loved being with Blaine, he actually cared about her. Quinn tucked her long blonde hair behind her ear. She still thought it was kind of amazing that they’d forgotten the condom and had gotten pregnant. Quinn wasn’t usually so careless. She touched Blaine’s hand. “You okay?”

“I’m fine, baby.” Blaine replied. He had been very surprised to have feelings for a girl, because he’d thought he’d been gay. Blaine had gotten drunk, and called her. A few nights after he’d gotten home from the hospital. Blaine hadn’t really been expected to have sex with her, it had just kind of happened. Blaine had really enjoyed it too, he hadn’t flipped out at all. Blaine didn’t really know why that was, and he didn’t know that he wanted to think too much about it. Blaine was sure that he would freak out if he thought about it too much. Blaine and Quinn were living together, too. Blaine’s house was fully finished. He’d had to decorate without Kurt’s help. Blaine had tried to ignore the voice that sounded a lot like Kurt in his head when he was picking out things. Blaine didn’t want his opinion anymore on anything. Blaine couldn’t keep Kurt off his mind though. Kurt’s blue eyes were constantly on his mind, even when he was with his daughter. Blaine loved her so much. Her golden brown hair was curls, just like his. She was beautiful. Blaine flipped open the menu. Not that he really needed to look at it. He gave her a weary smile. “I am fine, really. I’m sorry that you had to deal with the stares… small town.” And it’s not like he left the rez often anymore. It was too much, dealing with all the stares. It was stressful.

Deciding that she wanted a bowl of chili and a salad, she closed the menu. It had been a little hard for people to adjust to them being together. Quinn hadn’t minded though. He was hers and that wasn’t going to change. It was still crazy to her how it had been so good and quick between them. Quinn hadn’t been expecting that. He had called, and she’d been very surprised. Quinn had been glad though, she was still getting to know people here. It had been nice to have someone to hang out with. Quinn sipped her water and cast her glance at Beth. Aimee loved her little cousin. They got along well. Beth always lit up when she saw Aimee. “It’s not your fault, baby. You didn’t ask to be dumped like that. You were trying to be a good boyfriend and you were tossed aside like leftovers.” Quinn didn’t hate, or at least, she tried not to, but she really didn’t like Kurt for hurting her fiancé. He had a lot of other hurt anyway, but what Kurt had done was really not helpful. There was a whole host of new scars that he had now because of that. Quinn cast her glance to Kurt when Blaine leaned to check on Beth. She didn’t know how he could come in here so brazenly. 

The feel of eyes on him was strong. Kurt did his best to ignore them. He knew coming in here had been a bad idea. Kurt settled in at his booth, trying to relax. It wasn’t exactly easy. Kurt didn’t really know if he should stay. Luke might even refuse to serve him. He was torn. What should he do? It was so hard to know what was right. Kurt sank down at the booth a little, as if he was sinking under everyone’s gaze. Kurt really didn’t know how to get used to people hating him. And he wasn’t even sure if they did. Everyone wasn’t exactly up front about it. They were Southern, it was all under a veil. Kurt pulled out the book he’d brought with him, to begin reading. Kurt was going to get tomato soup and grilled cheese. It was his favorite. Kurt thought it was probably a bad idea on a hot day like today, but he couldn’t help it. It was good. Kurt wasn’t really sure where to go from here. He still had Rachel, but she… well, she was still grieving. She didn’t talk to him often. Kurt and Burt’s relationship was still solid, but the older man had given him hell for breaking up with Blaine. Kurt still got an ‘I told you so’ every once in awhile. Kurt had to admit, he felt guilty that he didn’t know Blaine was taken. And a father. Granted, Blaine wasn’t in town a lot, but still. It was a small town.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve.” Olivia was there helping out that day, Aimee was at a friend’s on a playdate. Since Puck was working. Olivia wasn’t one to keep her feelings to herself. She couldn’t throw him out, at least, not without Luke’s okay, but she really didn’t have to be nice to him. She wasn’t going to be, either. “You are in enemy territory. You really shock me. I thought you’d be good for Blainers. I really did. But you crushed him. Do you know what he did the night you dumped him?” This was of course a pointless question, because he did. “You left him broken and trying to kill himself. If I hadn’t been there, I shudder to think about what would have happened. You were going through a shitty thing. I get that. But Blaine… he was trying to be there for you. He was trying so hard to have a normal relationship. You broke him. I can’t… when I think of what you did my blood boils. You really have a lot of nerve coming in here.” Olivia really couldn’t help herself from speaking her mind. Everyone in the diner was looking at them. Olivia paid them no mind. “I can’t make you leave, but you should think twice about coming in here.”

The words stung. Kurt would be lying if he said it didn’t. Kurt couldn’t even really defend his actions, either. He had been so wrong. Kurt’s eyes brushed with tears. “I’m… I am so sorry if you expect me to defend myself. I can’t. Blaine should be moving on. He should be trying to be happy. I don’t deserve him.” Kurt wiped his cheek. “I don’t know how to fix it. I wish I could make it easier. But I can’t. It’s just out of my hands. I’ll never be able to take it back. I hurt him, after he’d been hurt so many times before. It’s…. it’s completely deplorable. I can’t do anything and it kills me.” Kurt didn’t know how to stop the pain. He really didn’t. “So if you’re trying to make me feel guilty, you don’t have to worry. I am already there. I will never stop being there. Your love for Blaine is admirable. I am glad he has you. But you don’t need to do this. I am already in hell constantly. I can’t… I can’t handle all the constant scrutiny. I am not going to stop living my life just because I feel guilty. I don’t know how to change anything. I could only say I’m sorry and that isn’t going to do anything.” Kurt wiped his eyes, he really didn’t know how to change anything. He really hated this. Should he go? Take his food to go? Go somewhere else? Kurt couldn’t decide. He didn’t know that he should leave, he didn’t want to set a precedent. It would lend them to think he’d go along.

“Are you serious?” Blaine exploded. He felt guilty? He should! This was really too much. He hadn’t planned on saying anything. But he couldn’t help himself. That was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Blaine didn’t know how Kurt could be so incredibly infuriating at times. Blaine didn’t know how to keep all of his anger in. “You should feel guilty! You were my first real relationship and you broke up with me when you couldn’t deal. What am I supposed to do with that? You…. I could have really fallen for you, Kurt. And you hurt me.” Blaine didn’t really know how the rest of this conversation would go. He didn’t know how to extricate himself. Blaine couldn’t handle this. He’d been upset but now he was regretting this. Blaine tugged on Olivia’s arm. “Come on, Liv. Just let it go. It doesn’t matter what you say.” Blaine didn’t want to talk about this anymore. He was tired of thinking about Kurt. He was on Blaine’s mind constantly. Blaine couldn’t do that anymore. It was the opposite of being happy with Quinn. Which he was. She loved him and accepted him.

All of those hit like a knife to his chest. Kurt didn’t know how to take any of what he’d done back. He wished that he could. The thing that he wished the most, besides Finn being alive, was that he could take it back. He really did. It was the worst thing he’d done. Blaine had already been broken, and Kurt had broken him even more. That was the worst. He was a terrible person. “I am sorry. Blaine, I am. You are right. I was wrong. I was. I’m so so sorry. There aren’t enough words for how sorry I am.” It was true. Kurt didn’t know how he could have done that to him. Kurt sighed and ran his hand through his hair. This was a big mistake. He should just go. It was the best idea. Kurt just couldn’t get up because his legs were like jelly. He didn’t think he could stand if he tried. “You win, okay?” You are going to get to lord this over me for a long time, okay? I’m not sure anything I say will be enough.” That was true. She didn’t know how lucky she was, Quinn, that is. Kurt knew that he was always going to regret what he did. He knew that he couldn’t. Kurt was about to cry, too, and he didn’t want to. He didn’t have a right to. What he had done was incredibly selfish. He should have been stronger than he had been. Kurt just hadn’t been, and he felt guilty.

It got quiet after that, and Blaine didn’t really know what to say, so he and Olivia left. Blaine touched Quinn’s hand when he joined her. He knew that she would want to say something and he didn’t want her to. Blaine got out a bottle for Beth. She was just waking up and would be hungry. Blaine had already decided what he wanted. “What are you going to have? I’m going with tomato soup and grilled cheese.” Blaine wanted some comfort. It was good, too. Luke made the soup from scratch. Blaine gave his order to Olivia when she stopped back by. Blaine didn’t really know what to say. It had been hard. Very hard. Blaine didn’t know how to get through this. He wished he did. Blaine didn’t know if he was ever going to get over Kurt completely. He wished that he would. He knew that first loves always stuck with you. You never forgot that they had been in your life. Kurt was always going to be in his heart. Blaine just didn’t know if he could handle that. It was more than he could handle right now. The last year had been rough enough. Blaine hadn’t been with Quinn long before she’d gotten pregnant, either.

The rest of the day had gone by slow for Kurt. He hadn’t stayed long in the diner, he’d gone home as soon as they had stopped hating him. They hadn’t really. Kurt was now lying on his couch, covered up in a blanket because he was always cold, and watching television. He still had an affinity for watching things that Finn had liked. He just liked to have him close. He felt like he was there with him sometimes. Kurt sighed as commercials came on. He was supposed to be getting ready to have dinner with Burt and Carole. They were coming over. Kurt was glad that they were close. The last year would have been worse without them. He was starting to drift off, too. Kurt hadn’t been sleeping a lot lately. Too much work. He was starting to get really burned out. He didn’t know how he was going to keep going at this pace. It was incredibly hard to keep up appearances, not that it really mattered what he did. Nothing that he did was going to make up for what he did in the eyes of the town. That was life in a small town for you. But he was used to that. Kurt was just going to have to suck it up. He didn’t know if there was anything that he could do. Amend that, he did. He knew it was impossible. The town was crazy. Kurt sighed and changed the channel to a different show.

That was when the doorbell rang. Kurt knew that it was Burt and Carole. He got up reluctantly. He was showered but not dressed in anything but old sweats of Blaine’s. He had left them there and Kurt had never given them back. He supposed that maybe he should. He just couldn’t help it. He liked sleeping in them. They smelled like Blaine. Even after all this time. That was very fortunate. He shifted to the door and opened it. It was Blaine. What was he doing here? Kurt couldn’t find one earthly reason he would be. It’s not as if they had anything more to say to each other. Kurt didn’t know what he was supposed to say. “What are you doing here?” That was the rude thing to say. He just couldn’t help himself. He ran a hand through his hair. “What are you doing here, Blaine?” He asked again, this time gently. It was still escaping him. But he stood back so Blaine could see him if he so chose. The other boy stood there for a minute, and then he did. He hadn’t been expecting that at all. He ran a hand over his leg, almost hoping that Blaine wouldn’t recognize the sweats as his.

Giving him an exasperated look, Blaine turned to face him. He didn’t know how to start this conversation. He wasn’t sure why he was even here. Blaine didn’t even want to see him. He was still trying to ignore all the pain he’d been through. It was too much mostly. Blaine did his best to keep his temper from flaring. He didn’t come to yell, mostly. He came to demand why Kurt had come in to his family’s diner. Not that he could keep him from doing so. He really couldn’t. That was the sad part. Blaine raked a hand through his curls. “What did you think you were doing? Why did you come in? Were you trying to hurt me?” That came out a lot more hurt than he’d meant them to. Blaine didn’t want to sound like it had hurt him, even if it had. Blaine didn’t want Kurt to know how hurt he’d been. It would give him too much power. That was the wrong thing. He took in a deep breath. This was one of the hardest things that he’d ever had to do. Besides letting Kurt in, and that had been a big mistake. He was sure that this was his dumbest idea yet. He took a deep breath again, as if he needed the strength. Blaine didn’t know how to do this. He wished that he did. “You hurt me, Kurt. I’d like to lie and say that you didn’t. But you did. And now… you can’t just go into Luke’s.” 

That had probably been one of the hardest things that Blaine had ever had to do. Kurt didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t as if any of this was easy. It wasn’t. “I’m… I know that took a lot. I’m sorry that I wasn’t what I was supposed to be. It was wrong of me. I should have been there for you and I wasn’t. You needed me. And I wasn’t there. It was wrong of me. And I am aware of that.” There was nothing more to say to each other. It was all over. “There’s nothing more to say, Blaine. We aren’t… it may not be a thing we can fix.” There was just nothing. Blaine glared at him, and left, not saying another word. Was this going to keep occurring? God, he hoped not. That was not what he had hoped when they’d begun dating.

 

_**Author’s note: I suppose this could have been longer. Anyway, hopefully you liked an I can get to something a bit fluffier in the next chapter, although I doubt it. Let me know what ya’ll thought!** _


	5. What About Now?

Chapter Five: What About Now

"Can I get some help?" A voice said, startling Kurt out of his reverie. He was sitting at the nurse's station, going over some patient notes. His attention had waned, going to Blaine. He couldn't stop thinking about him. Kurt hadn't seen him for a month, and he knew that he was back to work. Kurt couldn't stop thinking of that beautiful baby girl, either, with her father's curls. Kurt couldn't believe that Blaine had done that. Gotten a girl pregnant. And with him being Native American, he couldn't deny being the father. Not that he should. Kurt looked up into a very handsome face. That must be where the accent was coming from. Kurt ran a hand through his dark hair. "Um, yeah, I'm sorry." He said, wondering what this beautiful man could want. Kurt looked him over. He didn't look injured, maybe a loved one was here. Not that there was anyone else British in town. There wasn't. That didn't mean anything, though, Kurt tried to compose himself. This guy didn't need to know his problems. "What can I do for you? Are you here to see someone?" He asked, trying to think of any patients who were on an extended stay. He couldn't think of anyone. Maybe he was here to interview.

"My name's Adam, I'm here to see Dr. Schuester." Will Schuester was the head of general surgery. Adam gave Kurt a onceover with his gaze. He was really good looking. Adam was new in town, and he was here to apply for an intern position. He'd just graduated from Harvard Medical school. It had been arduous but fun. Adam really liked being a doctor. He had his eye on the town, it was gorgeous. Adam hadn't moved anywhere just yet, he was waiting to hear if he got this job. His apartment in Boston was still full of his boxes. He was ready to start his new life. Adam watched the eyebrow raise and Kurt's fingers move over the phone. "I am here for a job interview." He said. "I am going to be a doctor." There was pride in his voice. He couldn't help it. Adam was very anxious to help people. It was going to be a good job. Adam ran a hand absentmindedly through his longish blonde hair. "Do you know if he's here yet, love? I really don't want to miss him. It's important that I do well, I really want to move here." Adam was originally from Sussex, England, and he'd moved to the States when he'd gotten into university.

Kurt couldn't keep the blush from covering his cheeks. This hot guy was going to work here? He was lucky. If he could manage not to embarrass himself. "Um, yeah, Dr. Schue's here. I'll just page him." Kurt could hardly focus on the words he had to say as he talked to Will. Kurt told him Adam was here and Will told him he'd be right down from the intensive care unit. Kurt relayed the news to Adam, trying to decide if he should say anything more. Kurt wanted to find out more about this beautiful man. He licked his lips out of nervousness. That was what he did and this guy made him nervous. Kurt had never been this flustered with a guy before. Except Blaine. Kurt was reminded of him again and a tear brushed his eye. He wiped it away, embarrassed. It was over with Blaine, and he knew it. They wouldn't get another shot, and frankly, he didn't deserve a chance with Adam. Kurt was nervous and kept his eyes downcast. He wasn't sure what to say about anything. "You'll love Dr. Schue. Everyone does." That was true, and it wasn't too embarrassing. What else was he supposed to say? It had been awhile since he'd flirted with someone. Kurt watched as Adam smiled contentedly at him. This was weird.

While Kurt was talking to Adam, Blaine was grading papers. Blaine was just about to finish for the day, too. Kurt was still on his mind. Blaine didn't know what to do about that. He still didn't know how he'd gotten Quinn pregnant. They were happy though. Blaine yawned. Beth still wasn't sleeping through the night. Blaine didn't know how he would ever get sleep if she didn't start to get sleep. Blaine was exhausted. He was so glad with his class this year. Blaine loved his job. The kids were usually so cute and well behaved. Blaine wasn't used to talking to adults like he was with kids. Kids were the future. Blaine was in the living room, working on his papers. Quinn was at work. Blaine hadn't heard from Kurt since the diner. Blaine didn't want to. He still ached all over when he thought of him. Blaine cared about Quinn, and he was happy with her, but Kurt was his first relationship. Blaine would always have feelings for him. He wasn't sure if he regretted the fact that they hadn't slept together or not. Blaine wasn't sure if he could ever decide on that. He'd be tied to him forever as his first love.

The tv was on, he was watching _Sell This House_ , it was Kurt's favorite and it was a way to keep him close. Blaine hummed under his breath as he graded. He was almost finished, and then he could start dinner. Quinn would be home by seven. Blaine was usually home by noon, he only taught am kindergarten. Blaine took a sip of his beer. Beth was finally asleep, and he was hoping that she would stay that way. He had already taken a nap. Blaine ran his hand through his mop of curls. He'd taken to straightening it. Quinn liked it that way and so did he. Blaine finished his grading and got up, checking the pantry to see what he'd cook. Blaine was getting even better at cooking, because Quinn wasn't a person who cooked. Blaine didn't mind. He liked cooking. He decided on tuna casserole and began to get out the ingredients. He was keeping an ear on the tv. He still couldn't believe that Roger was gay. Blaine supposed that you never knew about people. They could surprise you. He ran his hand through his curls as he got out a pot to boil the water. He was startled by the knock on the door. Who was there? Blaine wasn't expecting anyone. That was a surprise. Blaine went to the door. He was wearing very casual clothes, he wasn't dressed for company.

It was Burt Hummel. He'd never even officially met him. He didn't even know what to say. They hadn't ever really even talked. Blaine stood there for a second, his brain trying to comprehend what he was seeing. "Um, hi, Mr. Hummel." He finally said. There wasn't much else to say. It's not as if he and Kurt were going to get back together. It just wasn't going to happen. Blaine wasn't sure if he wanted to ask why he was here. He knew he might not like the answer. What if he wanted to talk about Kurt? Blaine didn't want to keep on talking about that. It wasn't going to end the way that Burt wanted. "Mr. Hummel, I don't know what you came out here for, but I can't talk to you about Kurt anymore. Not that we have, I'm just not wanting to talk about what happened with us." Blaine wanted to get his point across to Burt before he began speaking. But he stepped aside for Burt to enter his house. Beth's baby monitor was quiet in the background. He always kept his ear out for the baby monitor. Aimee, whom Blaine was also watching, was playing Barbies on the living room floor.

Burt adjusted his ball cap and stepped in the apartment. "I know and I'm sorry that I'm here. I know that you finished this already and it's done for you. I know that. Just… all I want you to do is hear me out. After that it's in your hands." Burt never did this, got so involved in his children's lives, only if they were giving him something to worry about. And Kurt was. Rachel, too, really. Off in hiding and all of her classes taught by subs lately. Burt was worrying about her just as much. He just hoped that Blaine would let him talk. When the door closed, Burt turned to Blaine. "You… I understand why you went and moved your life on. I do. You are under no obligation after he dumped you over the phone. You don't. I…. Kurt's my son, and I love him. Blaine, he's been next to that thin line between life and death. Dancing with it." Burt's eyes were misty with what he was saying, but he pressed on. "You… you are happy. And I am glad for you. You didn't ask to be dumped. You have your life. All I want you to do is talk to him. Just see how he is… I want to make sure he's not…" Burt stopped and Blaine knew what he meant. "Please, Blaine. Things happened, but he loves you."

To do it or not was the question. Did Blaine do it? Or was it best to just leave it? Blaine… he didn't want Kurt to die, but he wasn't sure that he owed it to Kurt. It was too much to take in. Blaine still felt incredibly raw and vulnerable from what happened. He cared about Quinn, things weren't perfect, but he did care for her. Blaine just hadn't been able to sleep with her physically since. Blaine was on the couch when she stayed over. Even if she tried to protest. Blaine wasn't sure if he was bi, that he wasn't still gay. Blaine knew that meant that he couldn't marry her. But he did enjoy being with Quinn. It was still confusing. "I…" Tears had already begun to flow down his cheeks. "You… do you know how hurt I was? I'm…. I'm sorry that he's hurting, but I…. seeing him, and talking to him… it's the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I… I don't… I don't want him to die, but I don't know that I'm the one who should talk to him. It would help him but it would destroy me." Blaine stopped to get a tissue. He wiped his eyes. "I'm…. he's done all he can do to hurt me."

The tears on Blaine's face might just be causing Burt's guilt. "Please, Blaine, don't cry. You don't have to go. I'm sorry I made this… that I made you talk about this. It wasn't my place. I'm sorry." Burt clapped a hand on Blaine's shoulder, to give him comfort. "You… you can lean on me if you need." Burt said. He meant it, very much. He really cared about Blaine. He was a good man.

This is when Aimee came out, carefully pushing her cousin in a stroller. "Uncle Blainie, Bethie woke up." She said, and caught sight of Burt. "Who are you?" She asked, as Blaine leaned down to pick up his daughter. She was five months old. He held her and watched Aimee and Burt. "You're Kurt's daddy aren't you?" Aimee accused. She kept a skeptical gaze on the older man.

Blaine kept an eye on Burt, who seemed to have frozen at the sight of the child that was keeping his son from Blaine. "Aimee, you can't talk to Mr. Hummel like that, okay? He is your elder, Aimee Puckerman." He said, almost middle naming her and chose not to. "Go and help Uncle Blaine and color with your books, please, hon?" He said, bouncing Beth as he reached for a bottle.

"Is that?" Burt asked, once Aimee had left the room. They didn't need Blaine to answer, they both knew. "Her name's Beth. She's amazing." Blaine said, stepping closer and then falling back. He knew that Burt was seeing it a different way. As Kurt being the other parent. Blaine cradled her as she ate. "I'm…. no one is more sorry than me, Burt. I am sorry for all of it." He knew that Burt got what he meant. As he fed his daughter, Burt left, and Blaine smiled down at Beth, who was enjoying her bottle. Blaine held her and burped her, all the while keeping his tears at bay. He didn't want to cry. And despite what he had said to Burt, he did care if Kurt lived. He would go and talk to him tomorrow. When he got time. It was Saturday and he'd be mostly free. Blaine looked down into his baby's delicate eyes. She was enjoying just pulling on the strands of his hair that she could reach. Blaine let a few tears escape. He would never regret her, but he knew that this child was supposed to be being raised by him and Kurt.

The laughter of Kurt and Adam filled his place. Kurt hadn't slept with him, but he'd asked him to come over. So they could talk. It was breakfast, they were cooking. Kurt really didn't know if this would go anywhere, but he was glad that he'd asked Adam to come over. He needed a bit of fun right now. Kurt was taking the eggs out of the fridge when he heard a knock on the door. Kurt didn't really know if he wanted to know who was there. He went to get it though, knowing that he looked awful, like he needed to sleep for a year and too skinny from not eating. When he opened the door, he found Blaine. His mouth almost dropped open. He didn't know what to say. He was at a loss for words. "Blaine?" He asked. He didn't know why he was here, so it's not as if he had a good thing to say. He cleared his throat in the awkward silence. "What… what are you doing here?" He asked, he felt that was the best thing to do. Kurt knew he must look awful. Blaine looked beautiful, as always, if not a little tired. Kurt briefly felt guilty that Adam was there, but he and Blaine hadn't dated for more than a year, he couldn't be expected to feel guilty. Boy, Blaine smelled good. Damn.

"Your dad asked me to come." He said. Blaine didn't think lying was the way to go. Blaine was never a fan of lying. It wasn't going to get you anywhere. He heard the noises from the kitchen. Blaine briefly debated whether he should be at all jealous that there may be a man in there, but tossed away that thought. He shouldn't be. He was going to be an incredible hypocrite if he was. "He's worried about you. He says he's scared that you're suicidal." He felt being blunt was best. If Kurt really was, he didn't want to beat around the bush. Blaine took Kurt in. He did look as if the last few months had been hard on him. Blaine knew it was more like the past year. He wished that a lot of things were different. He especially wished that Kurt's brother hadn't died. He didn't look at it as the catalyst that had destroyed his first loving relationship, because if he and Kurt were meant to be together they'd be together. Blaine just wished that Kurt and his family hadn't lost someone. No one should have to go through that pain. Blaine hadn't really known him well enough. "You aren't, are you?"

That was really a hard question to answer. Especially honestly. Kurt knew the answer, and he mostly didn't want to admit it to himself. He swallowed hard. Kurt could feel a lump start to form in his throat. Kurt could feel his heart start to pound almost out of his chest. He felt his hair falling over his forehead. "I… I can't believe that Dad bothered you like that. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. You had your own life, and you don't need to be worrying about me." Kurt really hoped that Blaine didn't think he was trying to be a martyr. He wasn't. He really meant that.

"Kurt, you don't have to pretend with me. I know that you're not fine. You are nowhere near fine. I don't know if you're really suicidal but I know that you're not okay. Why are you lying? You look like you haven't eaten in a year and you look like you haven't slept in about as long." Blaine didn't know how he was really going to help if Kurt really was that bad off. Blaine wished that he could just wave a wand and fix it all. Blaine didn't know if he could ever make things right again. Blaine ran his hand through his mop of curls. He didn't expect to be let in, and didn't offer.

That was a lot of honesty from Blaine. Kurt honestly hadn't expected that. "I don't think that you're right. I'm not going to make any world's most happiest lists anytime soon, but I'm not going to… well, I'm fine." Kurt was doing his best to keep from outright lying. He wasn't a fan of it, and it wasn't the best thing to do. Kurt really felt that he couldn't lie to Blaine. He got caught up in those hazel eyes and he wanted to tell the truth. Kurt ran his hand through his messy hair. He hadn't had a shower since the day before, and if it wasn't for work he might not ever shower. Kurt didn't know that that was a good thing. That was the sign o good mental health. You weren't exactly the picture of mental health when you couldn't bring yourself to shower. Kurt sighed. "I really am fine, Blaine. You can go and tell my father that you did your duty and checked up on me." This was said a little bitterly, but he was actually touched that Blaine had done as his father requested. Blaine could have said no or just ignored it and him by extension.

"Kurt, you aren't fine!" Blaine exploded. "Why are you lying to me? You haven't been fine since you lost your brother. You aren't fine and you won't be until you start dealing. Trust me, I'm right there with you. I know what I'm talking about. You think I'm okay? I'm not. And I don't know if I ever was. The most that I have ever been happy is with you. And you took that away. You dumped me. Over the phone. Who does that? Do you think that I'm okay just because I look like it? Well I'm not. I miss you. Just because you ripped out my heart like Regina Mills doesn't mean that I don't miss you. I really… I'm… I hate how much I miss you." Blaine's eyes brushed with tears. He was revealing way too much about himself. He hadn't planned this. It had just come out when Kurt started lying and he couldn't handle that. Blaine had been hurt by Kurt, but he'd never lied to him. "You are miserable, and you know it. You aren't fooling anyone. I am sorry that you lost your brother. You shouldn't have had to go through that. I'm so sorry. I pray every day that it had ended up differently. I don't…. I don't pray for us to be together, just that Finn hadn't died."

That hurt a lot more than Kurt wanted to admit. And he didn't even believe in God. Kurt's own eyes filled with tears. He didn't know what to say to that. It was all true, and Blaine really didn't want him back. Kurt's throat was full of a lump, and he didn't know what to say. All plans with Adam were completely forgotten. Kurt was in pain all over again. They kept hurting each other. When was it going to end? They could stop doing this to each other right? Kurt really hoped that they could. He still loved Blaine, and he didn't want them to keep doing this to each other. He really wanted them to work things out. Kurt sniffled and swallowed over the lump in his throat. It was the thickest that it had ever been. Kurt really didn't know how to get out of this conversation. "You… you don't pray for us to be together? Really?" He asked, pinching his sides to keep from putting his hand over his chest. It was a little more precious than he wanted to get. Blaine could still cut him to the core, he hadn't thought that that could happen.

"No I don't. You hurt me and you don't have any points with me." Blaine said, looking at him, eyebrow raised. Blaine wondered what was going on in Kurt's head. He had to be insane. "It won't work, we tried once. You got scared and dumped me. Story of my life. I can't… the pain I went through, I really can't go through anymore. The pain that you caused me hasn't gone away. It's the lasting pain, like everything else that's happened to me. It's going to be with me forever. My first boyfriend that I loved dumped me." They were both crying so hard, Blaine gripped his elbows for support. "You are what you are. You were looking around for an excuse and an opportunity came along. You were going to. You didn't think about how this would effect me." Blaine caught his eye. "I'm out of here. You have your life, and you need to take a deep breath and reboot." Blaine didn't want to talk about any of that with Kurt. Just this would be enough. As it was, he was too close to Kurt, who was crying too and reaching for him. Blaine looked at him. "Talk to your dad." He told him seriously.

He was full out crying now . Kurt didn't know what he was supposed to say. "Blaine…. Please. Don't go." Kurt said, his voice strangled. He had forgotten all about Adam being in the kitchen. Kurt could hardly breathe. This was one of the most painful things he'd ever been through. Kurt could hardly believe this. "Blaine, I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I really am. But please. Don't leave. I'm… we were so good together. We could have that again. Please." Kurt hated that he was being so pleading. He didn't want to argue. Kurt didn't want Blaine to think that he was so desperate anyway. That was pointless. Kurt also didn't think that it was going to matter anyway. He seemed serious. Kurt had lost his chance and he could tell. He felt helpless. He kept his arms out for Blaine, who pulled back. Kurt couldn't imagine trying to explain how badly that hurt. He felt like he was watching himself. "I don't… I can't do this alone, Blaine. I can't." Kurt couldn't find his breath and he felt like passing out. He grabbed at his legs and stuck his head between them. Yup. Panic attack.

Blaine groaned in pain and tears. He didn't want to comfort Kurt. He didn't. This wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he should have to put himself through this. It was wrong. He had been through enough. And from Kurt. "Don't…. I am sorry, Kurt, but you…"He was stopped by the sight of some dude behind Kurt. He was tall, blonde, and cute. Blaine was just standing there, unsure. Then the man knelt next to Kurt (HIS Kurt) and began to comfort him. Blaine could only stand there. He was at a loss. "Excuse me? You are?"

"Seriously, Blaine? This is Adam." Kurt managed, as he tried to calm his pounding heart. He didn't know how he was going to explain any of this to either of them. That was something he was not prepared for. He was shocked when Blaine knelt to the floor and pulled him away from Adam. Blaine kept an arm around Kurt protectively. Kurt looked at Adam, who was just unflappable. He wasn't seemingly upset. Kurt sighed and tiredly put his head in Blaine's neck, crying so hard. He wished that he hadn't made all of these mistakes. Kurt had royally messed up his life. He could have it so much better. He clung to Blaine tightly.

Adam took in the scene. They were closeup together, and crying. Adam was sure that they still loved each other. Adam wondered why they were still apart. "Look, love. Clearly you aren't over your ex. I don't know why, you two broke up over a year ago. You should be on the mend. Clearly, neither one of you are ready to go and move on. You do. You are destructive for each other." Adam didn't usually talk so much. It was new for him. This wasn't healthy at all.

Kurt sniffled and held on tightly, taking several deep breaths. It was hard for him to really get calm. This was a painful situation. "Blaine, please don't be upset with him." He said weakly as Adam left, making his apologies. Kurt barely noticed. He was just glad to have Blaine's arms around him. Kurt was really just wanting Blaine to stay. Really stay. And that might not be possible. Kurt stroked Blaine's stomach slowly as he lay there, enjoying this. "Blaine, I'm so sorry. I know that you don't want to be here at all right now. I am so glad that you are. I…." Kurt couldn't finish that. Not unless he wanted more pain. He knew Blaine would leave again. He just knew it. This wasn't going to be real. Kurt didn't know how he was going to make it when Blaine left. That was just too much. Kurt was starting to calm a little. "Blaine… I… you were right. I'm… I was lying to you. I am…. I'm not fine. I don't know when I'll ever be fine. I… thought I was okay at first. I really did. Then… I saw you at the diner. Then I… I just don't know." Kurt couldn't really go into more detail than that. He didn't know how he could get his point across.

Blaine didn't want to talk about any of that. He didn't know why he was even here. He should have ignored Burt. He just… he couldn't say no to him. It was one of the first things that he'd run into with Burt. Burt was a very good man and he could hardly say no to him. He didn't know how anyone could. Blaine was in huge pain just having to sit here with him like this. Blaine sighed. "Kurt, you just, you can't do this. You can't talk about how hard this is for you. Do you think it's easy for me? Do you? It's not. This is the worst thing I've ever been through. You are not the only one. I can't do this. I can't. I have someone in my life now. She could get hurt and I don't want to do to her what you did to me." Blaine said, and he really meant it. He was trying to avoid hurting his fiancée. How could he be in Beth's life if he was with Kurt? Quinn would be incredibly hurt. Blaine didn't want to be that guy. Especially since he might not even be bi. That was a huge problem. He couldn't do that to her.

"Your loyalty is to Quinn." Kurt mused, as he started to calm down a little. He didn't want her to get hurt, either. But he wanted Blaine. And he couldn't live a lie. He had to be true to himself. That just wasn't going to happen again. Not if Blaine was going to marry Quinn. "You can't marry Quinn, Blaine. You aren't into women. Plus, I know that you and she haven't slept together since that time you were drunk. She works as a nurse and they talk." Kurt said, finally stopping his sniffles and stroking the soft skin of his stomach. Blaine didn't pull away, thankfully. Kurt hoped he wouldn't. "You…. you can't do that to her. That doesn't mean that you still can't be in Beth's life, but you don't have to marry her if you don't feel it." Kurt said. He had to get that through to him. It was very important. It was the best thing for all of them involved. Kurt sighed, knowing that this was his fault. If he hadn't dumped Blaine, he wouldn't be doing this now. Kurt couldn't ever get their final conversation as a couple out of his head. He was sure that Blaine couldn't, either. It was so wrong of him to lean on Blaine like this.

"You don't get to lecture me on this!" Blaine snapped. "You dumped me and I was in terrible pain. You can't expect me to stay single for you." Blaine was in shock at his audacity. He didn't know how Kurt could be so incredibly insensitive. How could he seriously expect Blaine to break up with Quinn? It's not as if Blaine was going to break up with her for Kurt. Who had hurt him and broke up with him. Blaine ran his hand through his dark curls. He wanted to leave so much. Blaine just didn't feel right leaving when Kurt was so upset. Blaine knew that he was too nice for his own good. Blaine could not see how this wasn't going to end up with him regretting this. Blaine pulled away a little. He wasn't comfortable with this. Blaine really thought that he had to get out of here. He had to get home to Beth. Quinn was working again. Blaine loved that she loved her job. She was always talking about how much she cared about her patients. Blaine didn't know how she could do all of that nursing stuff. Blaine loved teaching and it was all he wanted to do.

Kurt sighed as Blaine pulled away. He wished that Blaine would just forgive him. Although he wasn't sure he blamed him. Kurt had been just awful. "Blaine, you can't be serious?! This isn't about me wanting you. This is about me wanting to save Quinn from marrying a gay man. You aren't straight, Blaine. You can't do that to her. Please, just think about it. You can't hurt her like that. You honestly can't be that much of an ass." Kurt really hoped that Blaine would take this advice to heart. He really didn't want that for Quinn. "You can still be in Beth's life. You can. You don't have to marry her. You won't be happy." Kurt really didn't think that Blaine should do it. It's not as if he had problems with bi people. He just didn't think that Blaine was one of them. It was just wrong of him. There had to be some other way for him to be in Beth's life. Kurt wished for the millionth time that he hadn't broken up with Blaine. He wasn't the one who did the hurting. He was the one who got hurt. Kurt couldn't believe that he'd been the one to hurt. It pained him to think about. He couldn't believe it. "I will never stop feeling bad about what I did to you, Blaine. I am so sorry. You deserve the best."

That was it. Time to go. Blaine stood. "Okay. I'm out of here. I'm sorry that you're so upset. I am. But I'm leaving." He got up. "Talk to your father. You need to let him know that you're okay." Blaine said. He got out the door, closing it behind him. Blaine immediately began to cry. He couldn't believe that that was so hard. He took a deep breath. He had to calm down. He had to drive. He didn't want to put himself in danger. Blaine wiped his eyes. At least Kurt was okay and he didn't have to feel guilty for not doing what Burt had asked. Blaine started down the drive to his truck. He stood outside of it, looking up at Kurt's. Blaine was still feeling jealous of that English guy. Adam? Was that his name? Blaine didn't know but he knew he had no right to be jealous. He didn't even know why. It's not as if he wanted Kurt back. He didn't. At least, he didn't think so. And if he did, he shouldn't. Blaine didn't know how he could be so self destructive of his own life. Blaine had finally had something going for him. Besides missing Kurt. More than anything.

A few days later, Kurt was just getting out of the shower. His door opened, and Burt was calling up the stairs. "Kurt! It's your dad." He wondered what his dad was doing there. Kurt called back down the stairs and then went to get dressed. He had dinner in the oven, and he'd just gotten off a three day shift. Kurt was tired. He was going to pass out as soon as he got done eating. Kurt finished dressing, casual knit pants and a soft tee, not something he'd sleep in, but comfortable. Plus, his dad was here. Kurt didn't know what he wanted. He sat down at his vanity to do his nighttime routine before he went down. He heard his father moving around downstairs. Kurt and Quinn hadn't spoken much. Kurt had requested (anonymously) to not be scheduled with her if they could help it. Kurt hoped she really didn't know. He didn't need drama. Everyone had been talking about the scene a few days ago. The whole neighborhood had been talking, so it had gotten around the town. Kurt had been enduring looks for days. He didn't know what to do about that. He was used to it, since it had been happening for over a year. He finished with his creams and went downstairs. "Dad?" He called out.

"Just checking on you, bud." He said. Burt was setting the table. He was glad that he and Carole had been able to move here. His time in DC was over. He was glad for that. As much as he'd liked it, he missed seeing his family and owning his tire shop. He'd already gotten a space. Burt was ready to go back to fixing cars. He sniffed the air. It was tuna casserole. He was surprised, it was usually too basic for Kurt. But it smelled good. Carole was working. She was on her way to being a head nurse.

"I'm fine, Dad." Kurt replied, as he got out some beer for Burt and a bottle of Fiji water for himself. He had put together a three bean salad too. He put it on the table. "Why did you ask Blaine to come and check on me? That was one of the worst experiences of my life." Kurt yawned and opened the oven to get the tuna casserole out of it. He was glad his dad was there. Kurt could use a friendly face. He had been getting glares and needed the friendly face of someone who loved him. "I don't think we'll ever get back together."

Burt sat down as Kurt put down the food. "I was worried about you. I haven't ever been more worried about you. You've been really depressed. And I understand why. But you have to start to get back to your life, kiddo. I know that it's been a hard year. You can't keep wallowing." Burt wondered where his happy kid had gone. Kurt had used to be incredibly happy all the time. Burt missed that. It was much preferable to the sad kid that had replaced him. Burt cracked open his beer and took a sip as Kurt dished out food. He came over often when Carole was working. He didn't cook much.

"Dad, I'm trying. I am. I even asked a guy to come over for breakfast the other day. The day Blaine turned up." Kurt really couldn't believe it. Even if he was exactly what Burt thought. Kurt sighed as he sat down, picking up his fork and digging in. "Work was great, Carole and I grabbed lunch." Kurt really liked Carole a lot. She was really great. Kurt took a bite and chewed. He hoped that his dad would go with the subject change. Kurt didn't want to talk about his depression. He wanted to talk about anything else. Kurt hadn't been able to look Adam in the eyes since the other morning.

Burt got some of the salad. He was starving. "You can't change the subject Kurt." He said. He didn't think that they should really change and not talk about the serious subject. Burt really couldn't lose another kid. Especially not Kurt. He'd been through a lot. He didn't deserve to be going through anything more. He'd lost his mother and his brother. That was enough for anyone. Plus, Kurt had had enough to go through as a gay kid.

"Dad." Kurt said, drawing out the syllables. He really couldn't stand the fact that they were going to openly discuss his suicidal thoughts. He couldn't just talk about it like that. "Please, Dad. I… I know that I need to get some help or something, please. I really don't think that I can do that. Just discuss it over dinner." Kurt ate some more and gave his father a pleading look. He was really hoping that it was dropped. At least for now. Kurt knew he still looked too thin and his hair was in need of a cut.

Burt gave him a look, not sure if he should drop the subject or not. It was such an important subject. Burt decided to let it go for now, as long as Kurt knew they weren't done talking about it. "Fine. But we're going to finish this later. So how was work besides lunch with Carole?" Burt asked, sipping his beer. He liked having dinner with Kurt. He occasionally ate with Rachel and Haili. Rachel was doing a little better, but Burt was still worried about her, too. Carole checked on her quite a lot. Plus, Haili really loved Carole. She loved having a grandma. But, she loved Rachel's dads, too.

"Fine, Carole says that she talked to Leroy and Hiram, they're coming down for Halloween. I'm so glad, it's been a long time since I've seen them besides on Skype. I miss them a lot." Kurt said. Growing up, he'd leaned on them a lot. He'd been glad to have them to get advice. Kurt took a bite of his food and sipped his water. He didn't know how they'd ended up in Ohio, but it had been nice to have them. Kurt loved Burt, more than anything, but he didn't know anything about being gay. Kurt could talk to him but he couldn't really ask for advice. Kurt had rather enjoyed that.

Not that he'd exactly done well in the guy area. Kurt was someone with a terrible reputation with men. At least he'd gotten through Trip. Kurt couldn't imagine ever going through an experience like that again. And now he was one of those guys. It was terrible.

_**Author's note: Hope ya'll are still in there. I'm hoping that things will be looking up for our boys soon. Although it could be a few chapters. I'm debating if more Adam. What do ya'll think?** _


	6. Battlefield

Chapter Six: Battlefield   
Halloween was just around the corner. Kurt wasn’t in the mood, but he was going to have a party. He had the room for it, and the gay community took Halloween very seriously. So he was going to do a party. He was unable to stop planning for it. Kurt didn’t know if Blaine was going to get up the nerve to go or not. He hoped so. Kurt hoped that all of the people he’d invited would come. It was most of the town. Kurt was in the supermarket, getting some decorations. When he turned the corner he bumped into Blaine. Blaine was with his daughter, she was in a cart and gurgling away. Kurt swallowed hard, they hadn’t seen each other since that night. It had been about a week or so. Kurt let in a sharp intake of breath. He wasn’t sure he could handle this. Or even how to. Kurt wasn’t sure what to think about that. He didn’t know that he blamed Adam for not wanting to be with him. Kurt wasn’t exactly a good catch right now. Blaine looked and smelled amazing. His long curls were straightened and in a braid. Kurt’s blue eyes met Blaine’s hazel eyes. Kurt felt all kinds of pain as their eyes met. He really wished that they could figure out how to do this. Be friends. Kurt knew that it wasn’t going to happen. They were always going t feel this awkward.

This was priceless. Blaine adjusted the blanket wrapped around his daughter. Beth was sleeping. Blaine actually wished that she’d wake up soon, or she’d never sleep that night. Blaine pushed past Kurt with his cart. There was a grocery store on the reservation, but it was a Mom and Pop kind of place and really only had staples. Blaine didn’t mind going to Wal-Mart for the rest. Blaine didn’t want to talk to him. Blaine went down the aisle. His brother and sister-in-law were with him, too. Aimee was with Liv’s parents though. Blaine looked down at Beth, who was looking around with her hazel eyes. They were wide with excitement. She was always happy. Blaine wasn’t sure where her parents were, they’d disappeared as soon as they’d gotten in the store. Blaine didn’t really mind, he would have to put up with the endless chatter about things that he had no interest in. Blaine hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Kurt for a week. He had had wet dreams about him. Blaine was surprised about that. Especially since they’d never had sex before. Blaine had really wanted to get to that point with him. It had been especially hard for him since he’d wanted to lose his v card to Kurt. A lot. Blaine tried not to think about it, it would just lead to misery.

Olivia leaned into her husband, smiling. They were getting some margarita mix. Aimee was spending the night with her parents. She didn’t know how they had gotten so lucky. They were going to order a pizza and watch a movie. She was really looking forward to it. They didn’t get many nights with themselves often. She giggled as his hand slipped into the back pocket of her jeans. She caught a glimpse of Kurt up the aisle and she hoped that Blaine hadn’t run into him. She wasn’t as worried about him, but she didn’t know what he was doing with Quinn. Olivia knew that Blaine was gay. They’d tried talking to him about it. “You want rum or vodka?” Olivia asked as they headed down the aisle to get the mix. Olivia was looking forward to being on the couch with him, just the two of them. They hadn’t gotten to in awhile, and Olivia didn’t even care if they had sex or not. She was just glad to have alone time. She was glad that they were here together. She noticed that Puck had noticed Kurt, too. “Blaine’s… we have to talk to him.” She said. Olivia’s voice was quiet. The whole thing made her worry about him all the time. Olivia knew that Blaine had to work through all of this. She just wished that she knew how to help. It was the type of thing that was out of her hands. She hated things that were out of her hands. She knew that he did too.

Puck nodded. He kept his arm around her waist, pulling a bottle of raspberry margarita mix off the shelf. He was usually a Jack and Coke guy. This was for her. He didn’t mind as long as they had strong rum in it. “You know Squirt won’t talk until he’s ready.” Puck replied, sticking the bottle in the basket she was carrying. “I just don’t know how he can do this to that poor girl. I mean, she really loves him. I can’t believe that he even had sex with her. I know he was drunk… but still. It just seemed ridiculous.” Puck had never even thought that Blaine would lose his virginity that way. But then, he hadn’t expected Kurt to hurt him that way, either. He was surprised. And Blaine seemed to be in love with him. Puck didn’t get that at all. It’s not like they had it all figured out, Kurt and Blaine, that is, but it had to be dealt with. They couldn’t just keep ignoring it. Puck knew that he still wanted to pound Hummel into the ground for hurting his brother. He hadn’t, and he should get a medal. Puck pressed his nose into Liv’s neck. “But let’s not worry about it tonight, babe. It’s all about us.” It was about time, too. They hadn’t had a proper ‘date’ night in a long time. Puck was planning on fucking her hard.

Kurt stood in the aisle, smarting from Blaine just walking past him. He didn’t know if he was ever going to get rid of the pain. He couldn’t believe that he’d hurt Blaine like that. It was still haunting him. He put the things he was getting in his cart and headed for checkout. He had to get out of here before he ran into Blaine ad his daughter again. Kurt didn’t know how to do anything right now. It was going to have to change and he knew that. He just hadn’t figured out how just yet. He didn’t know what to do, and he had just joined the line when he caught the glance of Blaine’s brother. Kurt honestly hadn’t had that many conversations with him. He really didn’t know what to do if Puck said something to him. Kurt didn’t want to have to deal with him if he didn’t have to. Kurt knew that one day would come the tongue lashing. Kurt knew that he truly did deserve it. Kurt didn’t know how he would handle it when it did happen. Kurt stepped into the line, his blue eyes on Puck’s hazel ones. Kurt kind of stood there frozen for a second, he hadn’t seen him in awhile and it was up in the air as to what would happen. A long pause sat between them. Puck glared at him, and his jaw flexed. Kurt swallowed hard but did not look away. He met Puck’s eye head on. He wanted him to know that he was serious about all of this.

Before a word could be said, a blonde boy and his husband bumped into them. Jeff Sterling-Duval’s face broke into a grin. “Kurt!” He said. They hadn’t seen him since college. Jeff wasn’t the type to catch onto awkward situations, and he leaned forward to hug Kurt. Jeff did so one handed, his free hand was in his husband Nick’s. Jeff was beaming from ear to ear, and he battled with his excitement. “I am so glad to see you. We’re having a baby and I would love to get your opinion on baby stuff for the nursery.” Jeff and Nick had wanted to ask Kurt to go to the wedding but hadn’t had his address to send him an invitation. Jeff had really wanted him there. It had been disappointing that he wasn’t. Jeff and Nick had just moved to Raleigh, and he was glad to find that Kurt was here. Jeff was bubbly and outgoing, and he had been one of the first boys at Dalton Academy to be nice to Kurt when he transferred to get away from a bully. Jeff hadn’t been out at the time, and he’d been amazed by Kurt’s ability to be who he was. Jeff had had his feelings for Nick and had been afraid to speak up about them. He was someone who looked up to Kurt so much. He hoped that Kurt was happy.

Kurt was surprised by the sight of his old classmates and he forgot Puck was there. Kurt did manage to smile at them. He hadn’t seen them in awhile. “Hey, guys. I’m so glad to see you.” He gushed, giving them both hugs. He couldn’t believe that they were both here. “I can’t believe that you’re here!” Kurt aid, and his eyes lit up when he saw the wedding rings. “You guys are married! Oh, that’s great!” Kurt was wondering why he hadn’t been invited, but he had moved, and when he was with Trip, he hadn’t exactly done a lot of things. They hadn’t always agreed on whether Kurt’s things were good enough to go to. It was one of the reasons Kurt was glad to be rid of him. Kurt was so happy for them, though. They had been his best friends at Dalton. Kurt wouldn’t have made it through Dalton without them. He hadn’t graduated from there, but he’d been there for awhile. Kurt had even joined the Warblers, although it hadn’t been the same as the New Directions at McKinley. Kurt had missed his friends. And his brother. He felt a pang at the thought of Finn. He missed him still, so much. Kurt really hoped that Jeff and Nick wouldn’t ask about him. Kurt didn’t want to explain. Especially while he had Puck glaring at him. Oh yeah….

Puck set his jaw, and kissed his wife’s cheek. “Hold on, babe.” He said, his gold wedding ring catching the store light. The ring on Olivia’s finger also caught the light, she had a blue sapphire on hers. Olivia wasn’t a jewelry girl. He stepped up to Kurt, ignoring the two guys who were obviously married, and said, “Hey, so, you’ve been aching for a beating for a year and a half.” Puck said, he really had to get his point across. “I am going to show you what happens to people who date my baby brother and then dump him.”

“Noah.” Olivia said, stepping closer. She didn’t want him being in a holding cell all night long to be the end of their night. It was date night. “Now is not the time to give Kurt’s beat down to him. I am not spending the night in jail trying to bail you out. It is date night.” Olivia told her husband, shaking her head as firmly as she could at him. Her next words were loud enough for Kurt to hear. “He does deserve this for what he did, but you aren’t ruining date night, Noah Elijah Puckerman.” She told him, her blue eyes still on him.

“Excuse me?” Jeff asked. They couldn’t really be talking about Kurt, could they? Kurt wasn’t that kind of guy. Jeff ignored the pleading look that Kurt was giving him and the one of disbelief that Puck was giving him. Was that his name? Jeff didn’t want to, but if he had to, he’d protect Kurt. “What are you talking about? Kurt wouldn’t ever hurt anyone like that.” Jeff said firmly. He also ignored his husband’s tapping on his arms. Jeff wasn’t afraid of the other man. “Plus, the grocery store is not the place to start this fight.” Jeff kept his eyes on the other man firmly. 

Flexing his strong arm, Puck’s eyes widened. He didn’t advance on them, as his wife Olivia was still holding onto his arm, but he still looked menacing. Puck wanted Kurt and his “bouncers” that to know that he knew this was a serious situation. “Kurt, you are safe today, sir, but this beat down is coming. You can’t run from it no matter how much you think you can.” He said, growling a little. Kurt recoiled a little but not a lot. This was the worst. Puck hated that they had to even be in this position in the first place. Puck was stopped by Blaine and Beth. Puck growled, but kept himself from moving at the sight of his niece.

“Noah, this isn’t Sons of Anarchy!” Blaine said, glaring at all of them. “Or Shameless. You are not Jax Teller.” Blaine didn’t know how this had started, but he was ending it. “You aren’t going to fight. We are going to drop things. Just leave it.” Blaine set his hazel eyes on Puck, glaring. He didn’t even glance Kurt’s way. He didn’t want to see him. Blaine let Olivia take the cart. Beth watched them curiously. Blaine’s curls fell in his eyes, out of his braid. He didn’t brush them back. “I appreciate what you want to do, but this is making it worse!” Blaine really couldn’t stop Puck if he chose to fight Kurt, because Puck was bigger and stronger than him, but he really didn’t want it to come to that. Blaine honestly wished that the whole mess could just be behind them. Blaine didn’t want to have to think about any of it. “I am done with Kurt. I am done with the whole situation. You’re going to get everyone talking about it again. I am tired of everyone talking about my life. I know that they all took my side, but it doesn’t matter. It’s none of their business. Kurt broke my heart, and it was already broken. It might not ever be mended.”

All of them kind of stood there, slack jawed for a minute. None of them had heard Blaine erupt like that before. Puck felt his heart break into a million pieces as he looked at his baby brother. He wanted to take away all of Blaine’s pain and couldn’t. He hated this. Puck really felt bad for making him upset. Puck didn’t even glance Kurt’s way as he looked at Blaine. His throat caught as he said, “Blaine, I’m sorry. I won’t do anything if you don’t want me to.” Puck really didn’t know what to say. It was one of the worst situations. Puck really felt bad. He said, “Let’s go, Blaine. You’re right, okay?” He pushed the cart to the line, and Olivia shared an apologetic look with Kurt’s friends, who honestly didn’t have anything to be sorry for. Puck glared at the cashier, who looked like she was going to say something. Puck ran a hand over his shaved head as he pulled out his worn wallet. Blaine was quiet as he pulled out money for his half. Puck hated to see him so dejected. He was killing himself for making him so upset. Sometimes Puck just acted without thinking. He didn’t know if he could stop that. Although, he knew that it wasn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it worked out in a good way. As they went outside, Puck said, “I’m sorry, Blaine. Really.”

“Just drop it, Noah.” Blaine said. He only ever called him that when he was angry with him. So Puck should know that he was serious. Blaine pulled his curls out of his braid and ponytailed them. He was tired of the whole thing. It was exhausting. Blaine knew that he had to break up with Quinn, though. He wasn’t straight. Blaine didn’t regret sleeping with her, since it had brought him Beth, but they didn’t work together. Blaine hated to hurt her though. Blaine knew that they would have to figure something out when it came to Beth. He lifted her out of the cart, marveling again at how soft she was. Blaine looked down at her smiling face, she loved him. Blaine loved her hazel eyes. She looked so much like Quinn. Blaine thought Quinn was beautiful. Maybe the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, besides Livvy. Blaine thought Puck had really hit the jackpot with her. She loved him with her whole heart, too. Blaine thought that when you looked at Puck and Olivia, you were looking at love. Blaine thought that maybe that’s why he’d fallen so hard for Kurt. He had thought that would be his great love like theirs.

The house was so empty when Kurt got home. He hated it. He missed Blaine so much it hurt right now. Kurt put his groceries away. Jeff and Nick were on their way with supper. Kurt was really glad about that. He was. He didn’t want to be alone right now. Kurt changed into something less fancy, and got out some paper plates. He didn’t know what they were bringing, but he hoped it was something really fattening. Kurt really had to put on some weight. He’d lost a lot. His clothes barely fit. Kurt didn’t know how that had happened. He just hadn’t been hungry. Every time he went to his parents’, they stuffed him full of food. Kurt dropped onto the couch, and flipped on the tv. It landed on American Chopper, and his eyes filled with tears. He could smell Finn’s cologne. Kurt missed him so much. He changed the channel. He couldn’t watch it right now. After what had happened at the grocery store. Kurt was aching for Blaine so much. He still felt so guilty about hurting him. He had confided in Jeff and Nick. They had been very surprised. Kurt was grateful that they hadn’t told him he was a horrible person. They both had told him that they understood why he had been so upset. They’d known Finn, too.

He didn’t have to wait very long for them. They brought fried chicken. Kurt had to admit, he loved fried chicken. He got out some wine and poured it in some glasses. “I’m so glad that I ran into you both.” Kurt would never have gotten through Dalton without them. It was nice to have them together together. That must have been great to see. “So, tell me about your baby, you guys.” Kurt said, as they tore into the chicken. Kurt was ravenous. He was so excited to help them plan for the nursery. Kurt longed to have kids of his own, too. It might not ever happen. Kurt wasn’t sure that he’d ever find someone like Blaine. He didn’t think he’d ever get over him. He took another bite of his chicken. This was heaven. Kurt was planning on getting wasted tonight. Kurt had been drinking a lot of wine lately. He knew that was bad, too. He didn’t want to end up being an alcoholic. “You two will make great dads.”

Nick honestly didn’t know what to say to help Kurt feel better. He could tell that he was still broken up. That was incredibly hard to watch. Nick went with Kurt’s change of subject. “We’re having a girl. Jeffie and I can’t agree on a name. But we did agree that you should be the one to help us decorate the nursery.” Nick gave Jeff a playful shove. They had always been close. Nick couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. They just flowed together. It had been hard for him to come out at first, but Nick knew that it had been the right thing to do. It was meant to be.

“Yes, I am so excited to help.” Kurt agreed, smiling a half smile at them. It would be fun. It would be a good distraction. Kurt needed that right now. “Do you have a scheme in mind? Or do I get to go with it?” Kurt asked, a gleam in his eye. Kurt really loved to decorate. It had been snatched out of his hands to help Blaine, and he didn’t know if he would ever not be able to see the schemes he had in mind for it. It had been his special project. Kurt longed to see what Blaine had gone with instead. It haunted him sometimes. But everything about Blaine haunted him. Kurt didn’t know how to stop that.

Jeff watched Kurt as he spoke. He looked gaunt he was so skinny. Jeff hated that. He wished that he could help with that. Jeff knew that helping decorate would help with that. Kurt loved stuff like that. “You can go nuts, whatever you want to do.” Jeff said, smiling at him. He was doing his best to be jovial. He knew that Kurt didn’t want to talk about this situation. Jeff didn’t blame him at all. It wasn’t exactly an easy thing to go through. Jeff thought that Blaine was adorable, that mocha skin was so gorgeous. Jeff was a happily married man, but he was handsome. Jeff didn’t know that he blamed Kurt for being the one to end things. He’d lost Finn, and he’d been so young. Jeff didn’t know how Kurt had made it through that. He didn’t have a family like Kurt did. His family was all locked doors and secrets. Jeff was so glad that he had Nick’s family to count on. He didn’t know how Kurt would ever completely heal. Jeff really wished that life was simpler. It would make things easier. “We’re looking forward to your ideas.” Jeff said, getting some more of the wine.

The doorbell sounded. Kurt was honestly surprised. He didn’t know who that could be. Kurt got up to go get it. It was Quinn Fabray. Kurt didn’t really know what to say to her. Mostly because he wasn’t sure why she looked so upset. She had Blaine, and Beth. Kurt didn’t even say hello. He didn’t think that such niceties needed to be observed. “What are you doing here, Quinn?” He finally asked. Kurt really hoped that there wasn’t about to be a big row. “Do you want to come in?”He asked, unable to help himself. Polite to the core.

“Blaine just broke up with me.” Quinn snapped as she walked inside. She didn’t know how that had happened. Quinn wasn’t one to just take things lying down. And she had decided that this was Kurt’s fault. Quinn couldn’t believe that Blaine had used her like that. She didn’t know how Blaine had even stayed with her if he was supposedly gay. “Do you know why? Because he said he’s gay, and he always knew in his heart, and that he shouldn’t have been with me. He told me that he is so sorry. What did you say to him?” She demanded to know. Quinn was so angry she could spit fire. Quinn didn’t know what to do.

His eyes widened off his head just about. Kurt didn’t know what he was supposed to say to that. It gave him a glimmer of hope, though. If Blaine had broken up with Quinn, then that meant the door could be open. Even if it was a small glimmer. “I am sorry Quinn. But that isn’t my fault. I wasn’t dating you. It is something that no one should have to go through. It is just something that you will have to deal with. You can’t change Blaine if he’s gay.” It was true, but Kurt knew that Quinn wouldn’t want to accept that.

“Are you serious right now?” Quinn asked, her eyes widening too. She really didn’t know how he could say that. “It’s like you dating someone who turns out to be straight.” Quinn said, but even then she wasn’t sure that that was the same. She herself had had thoughts in the past about girls. She just hadn’t let herself go there. Not that they’d ever gone away. Quinn definitely still had feelings for girls. She really did love Blaine, though. She had been so glad that Blaine had liked her. They had been incredibly drunk, though. So it wasn’t like they’d had some Bronte love or anything.

“Quinn, I am serious. There’s nothing that you can do if Blaine’s gay. It is truly an awful thing to happen to you. I can’t sympathize since I’ve never been through it. But it’s not my fault. I didn’t sleep with you and then date you. That was Blaine. I had nothing to do with that.” He supposed if she wanted to get bitchy, she could say that he was the one who had devastated Blaine and made him want to swear off men. Kurt really hoped that she wouldn’t go there. He didn’t want to have to talk about that with Quinn. Mostly because he still felt really guilty.

As Quinn geared up to reply, Jeff and Nick had come to see what the commotion was. Quinn didn’t even look over at them. It wasn’t on her radar. Quinn looked at Kurt. “You have got to be kidding. You’re the one who broke his heart in the first place.” She snapped. She wasn’t at all caring what he thought about the whole thing. She just needed to yell. Blaine was her child’s father, despite everything. She couldn’t just unload on him. Quinn didn’t want to deal with yelling at Blaine. He’d been so upset when he’d told her that he couldn’t be with her. Quinn didn’t care about Kurt at all, so she could be honest.

“Are you kidding me?! What is with this town?” Jeff asked, before his husband could stop him. “You can’t talk to Kurt this way! Do you know what he had to go through? I’m not saying that he treated Blaine well, but he had a lot that he was going through.” Jeff could hardly believe this. It was the South, they were polite here. “It is not his fault that Blaine broke up with you.” Jeff said, his voice stern. “You need to leave.” He told her, and he completely meant it. He was going to defend Kurt no matter what.

Kurt looked at her. “You can leave now.” He wasn’t going to keep discussing this with her. They had nothing else to say to each other. Kurt didn’t know how she had even come out here in the first place. He guessed that she just needed someone to yell at. He went to open the door, so that she would leave. Kurt didn’t know if she would actually go, but he hoped so. Kurt didn’t really know how to feel about any of this other than the small amount of hope that he had. Kurt didn’t want to give up that small hope. It was all he had right now. He just couldn’t give that up.

Meanwhile, Blaine was lying on the couch, staring at Beth’s things. They had agreed or now that Beth would go with Quinn, but with Quinn’s erratic nurse hours, she’d spend more time with Blaine. Olivia had agreed to watch her during the day. When he was working. Blaine was just hoping that they wouldn’t have to argue about Beth’s custody arrangements. He knew that Quinn loved Beth. But she seemed to be more into her job. There wasn’t anything wrong with that. Blaine might get to see her more, and that was the important thing. Blaine was watching something stupid on television. He didn’t know what to feel about anything right now. He wasn’t in love with her like he should be. Blaine felt more secure in being gay now that he had been in a relationship with a woman. Blaine knew it wasn’t really fair of him to be in one, any relationship, very well. He didn’t have a very good mentality right now. Blaine wasn’t sure that he could be in another relationship ever again. He thought that he was still too hurt from being with Kurt. And it had been over a year. Blaine knew it was because he hadn’t been over him before he’d started dating Quinn. Or rather, before he’d slept with her. Blaine knew that had been a mistake. 

“Blaine, sweetie?” Came his sister in law’s voice. She stepped into the living room. Olivia was carrying a lasagna, and some garlic bread. Since he had gotten his own place, he didn’t over to their place as often. Mostly because of Quinn. Olivia was sure that the other girl didn’t really like them, she just tolerated them for Blaine. Olivia wasn’t sure that she liked the other girl. And she was a friendly person. It was just hard to like her. She wasn’t a very open person. Olivia put the food in the oven to reheat. “I brought you some food. And you’re going to eat it. You are entirely too thin.” He looked at her, rolling his eyes. Olivia didn’t want to argue about it. “You are not going to use this breakup as an excuse to not eat.” Olivia hoped that he wouldn’t. She wasn’t going to let him, and his place being on the same land was helpful. She was sure that Blaine wasn’t doing so well. “Are you okay, Blaine? We have been worried about you.” Olivia knew that he had done the right thing, but it still couldn’t be easy. It had to be incredibly hard. Olivia didn’t even pretend to know how Blaine felt about anything. She didn’t know how he dealt with anything on a daily basis.

“Livvy.” Blaine said, as a warning. He didn’t know what to say about her question. Blaine couldn’t decide how he felt about anything right now. He ran a hand through his curls. “Hey, would you cut my hair?” He asked. Suddenly, it was too long and he needed it gone. Blaine didn’t mind if it had some length, but it was just too long. He got up, fishing out some scissors. “Please, Liv.” He said. He couldn’t explain why he needed it gone, so he hoped that she wouldn’t ask him why. Blaine got a blanket to put on the floor, to catch the hair. He tucked some of the curls behind his ear. “I just.. I need it gone.”

Olivia nodded, and they went into the kitchen. He sat down, and she got his hair wet. Olivia didn’t ask him why, sometimes you just had to have a change. And this wasn’t a bad one, one that he shouldn’t make. Olivia ran a brush through it, although carefully. Blaine’s curls could be hard to handle on occasion. She then started to cut. She wasn’t a perfect stylist, but it would look okay. And he could always get it touched up. Blaine’s eyes closed automatically, he liked when his hair was played with. Olivia’s fingers moved through his curls, debating how short to go. She didn’t know if he’d want it too short after growing it this long for years.

Blaine just enjoyed the hair falling off him. He didn’t think that he would end up regretting this. This was a good decision. “You can leave some length, I just need as much of it gone as possible.” Blaine said, not opening his eyes. Blaine smelled the food, and he had to admit, it smelled great. Blaine’s stomach growled a little. Olivia gave him a shove. “I know, you were right.” He said, rolling his eyes as he opened them. Blaine wondered if he could tell Olivia all of his feelings, what exactly had been said in the breakup. Quinn had been so hurt. Blaine didn’t blame her. He shouldn’t have taken so long to break up with her. They had been a good couple, but Blaine shouldn’t have slept with her in the first place. Even if he didn’t regret Beth. Beth was the one thing in his life he didn’t regret. Blaine was already starting to feel lighter. Blaine cleared his throat. “Um, Liv, can I talk to you?” He asked, even though he knew he could. “Do you ever think that maybe Quinn will be able to forgive me one day? I know that being with her was the wrong thing. I don’t blame her for being mad. I just.. we have a child together. We have to get along for Beth.”

The problem was, answer it honestly or not? Olivia really wasn’t sure. She thought that Quinn could get along with him for Beth, but as far as anything beyond that, she wasn’t sure. “Blaine, you shouldn’t expect too much right away. She’s still really hurt, I imagine, and you shouldn’t expect her to come around just yet. You don’t really know what it’s like to be a woman and have your fiancé break up with you because they’re gay. Especially when you have a child together. It’s a big deal, Blaine. And it doesn’t mean that she’s bigoted against gays, either.” Olivia said, as curls fell to the floor. It was already looking a little bushy, now that it was shorter. Olivia added, “But I am sure that one day when she’s not feeling so hurt she’ll come around. You just have to be patient. Are you regretting it? Because, Blaine, it was the right decision. If you’re gay, then you can’t be with her. It’s not good to deny who you are.” Olivia said, as she concentrated on framing Blaine’s curls around his face. He had beautiful hair, and always had. Olivia stepped in front of him to see if it was even and looked okay. Then she went back to work. Olivia was almost done. It was already looking great, if she said so herself. Olivia was glad that Blaine was making a change if it was what he wanted.

Blaine said, “I’m not regretting it. It was the right thing to do. I was only going to hurt her more in the long run. Better now than later.” Blaine added. It was true. Blaine was glad to be who he was. He couldn’t stop thinking about Kurt, either. He knew that was a bad idea. Blaine shouldn’t give him another chance. He was just going to get hurt again. Blaine didn’t want to go through that again. It had been so hard. Blaine couldn’t do that again. “Liv, I can’t get Kurt off my mind. I… how can I stop that? I don’t want him back. That would be an incredible mistake. I’ll just get hurt again.” Blaine said, letting out a sigh. He didn’t know how to stop, and he wished that he did. Blaine’s head felt lighter, and he was glad that he’d done this. Blaine’s head moved as Olivia finished. “I’m going to go and get it, see how I want to style it.” Blaine left the room, and he was glad, maybe he wouldn’t have to see what his sister-in-law said. Blaine wasn’t sure that he wanted to know if he was being wrong. It was easier to think that he could be right. Blaine opened up the gel to spread some on his hair. He sighed. Life was way too messy.

Quinn let herself in the club. It was karaoke night. She had let Blaine have Beth. She needed a night out. She was meeting a girl from work, Santana Lopez. The girl was bringing her girlfriend, Brittany. Quinn wasn’t sure she liked the girlfriend yet. She was trying to. She wasn’t normally a fan of people, they were trying and gave her headaches. Quinn heard that Santana was also bringing this girl that worked with Brittany at the middle school. Quinn wasn’t sure how that would go. She caught sight of Santana and Brittany and headed over to their table. Quinn took a deep breath. She could do this, she needed to. She’d been broken up for a week. Time to let loose a little. Quinn joined them, after she’d gotten a huge margarita. He sat down, and looked up at the stage. Some girl was butchering a Cher song. Quinn took a long sip before she said anything. “So, where’s this girl that you said is coming?” Quinn asked, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. She hadn’t been here before, mostly because it was Raleigh’s only gay club. Quinn had always denied that part of herself. Quinn was still planning to. She couldn’t let that out. She wasn’t going to go to heaven if she married a girl. Quinn had been raised religious. Not that she still did church regularly. She didn’t.

“She’s coming.” Santana replied dismissively. Santana had been surprised that she’d gotten Quinn to agree to come. But she was glad that she had. Quinn needed to let her gay out. Santana knew that she was, she so could tell. She had good gaydar. Santana wasn’t sure how it would happen, because the blonde was pretty tightly wound. Santana didn’t really know why. But she was a good friend. They fought on occasion, but there was a reason for that. Santana ran a hand through her long black hair. She was drinking a Jack and Coke, none of that fruity stuff for her. Santana looked at Quinn, who wasn’t really dressed right for a club, she was dressed more for church. She was wearing a floaty skirt and a soft black top. That wasn’t going to get her any tail. Santana didn’t really think that Quinn was really trying to catch any tail in here. Santana was sure that she wasn’t. Santana had met Brittany here. They’d slept together for months before it was a relationship. It had taken Santana awhile before she’d been able to commit. Santana still wasn’t sure that it was for her, but she did love Brittany. She was incredibly hot. That helped.

A few cocktails later, Quinn had herself on the list. She was starting to sing The One That Got Away when Rachel stepped inside. She’d gotten caught up on lesson plans and had lost track of time. Rachel looked up at the stage. That voice… it was mesmerizing. Rachel tucked some of her long brown hair behind her ear. Rachel had never heard anyone sing like that. She just stood there, listening with goosebumps all over her body. Plus, the girl was the most beautiful girl that she had ever seen. Rachel went to get a drink only when she was finished. Rachel was pleasantly surprised to find that the blonde girl was at the table she was joining. She almost hadn’t come tonight. But she knew that if she didn’t, the Latina would give her hell. Rachel hadn’t wanted to deal with that. She listened as Santana explained who Quinn was. She nodded, and stumbled all over her words as she talked to her. Rachel got lost in those hazel eyes, and could barely follow the conversation. She stared at her no matter who was talking, just taken by her beauty. Rachel didn’t know why she was so fascinated. She was still getting over Finn, and she wasn’t into girls like that. Not that she was opposed to it. Rachel just didn’t want to count something out right away. And Quinn seemed to be just as into her. 

It wasn’t long before they were fucking in the bathroom. Rachel and Quinn were kissing feverishly, and Quinn’s skirt was pushed up around her waist. Rachel’s fingers were slipping in the wetness of Quinn’s sex. Quinn’s underwear had been hastily cast aside. Rachel kissed her with reckless abandon. It was like they’d never kiss anyone ever again. Rachel was so turned on, she was sure her underwear was ruined. Rachel could hardly believe that she was really doing this. Rachel had been trying to try all kinds of things since Finn had passed. Rachel sucked on Quinn’s collarbone, and she groaned underneath her. Rachel’s fingers rubbed over the knot that was Quinn’s clit. She liked that she had gotten so turned on for her. Rachel moaned as she moved to kiss her lips again. There was a lot of tongue wrestling. Rachel had to admit, her body was on fire. Quinn’s left hand pulled Rachel’s miniskirt up, and she pressed her fingers on the outside of Rachel’s wet panties. A groan left Rachel’s mouth. That felt duhmazing. That’s a word that you came up with when something was so amazing that all you could say was ‘duh’. Rachel’s knee rubbed up against Quinn’s sex, and she came.

Quinn reached up and groped Rachel’s breast through her top with her free hand. Rachel was about to come, too. Hard and fast. That’s what it was all about. Quinn watched as Rachel knelt to lick Quinn clean. She arched an eyebrow, and almost came again. Quinn was glad that she didn’t come. More cleaning up would be required. The she slid her panties back up. She was sure that Rachel’s was ruined. Quinn switched them, putting Rachel up on the counter. Rachel was so wet it was insane. Quinn pulled her ruined panties and tossed them aside. She licked on the outside of Rachel’s sex, and then she slipped a finger inside as she sucked and licked. It wasn’t long before Rachel was coming, too. Quinn as glad that she had gotten Rachel to come, too. Quinn stood, licking Rachel’s taste off her lips. Quinn wondered if they were going to talk about it. She wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. She didn’t want to look at it too hard. Especially since she wasn’t sure how it had happened, exactly. Quinn tucked some of her blonde hair behind her ear. She didn’t really even think how to begin. Quinn finally said, “So, um, what was that? Was it just sex? Are we dating now?” Quinn really wasn’t sure what she wanted Rachel to say.

Rachel tossed away her underwear. She looked at Quinn, really not sure what to say. Rachel felt like she had done this and could cross it off her bucket list. That was the important thing. Rachel tucked some of her brown hair behind her ear. “Please, I don’t want to talk about this. It was….. it was just sex.” Rachel said. She backed up. “I’m…. I’m sorry.” Rachel left the bathroom. Rachel wondered if she should even say goodbye to Santana and Brittany. She decided it didn’t matter and left, going out to her car. Rachel had to go get Haili from Burt and Carole’s. She wished her dads lived closer. Rachel knew that they’d never leave Lima. But she supposed that was okay. Rachel had a place to go and visit. Plus, it was where she had met Finn. She could go back and see all of the places that they had used to go to. Rachel climbed into her car, and as soon as the door closed, she started to cry. Rachel knew that it had been over a year, and she had to start getting over Finn. Honestly, she was doing a lot better. Considering where she had been. Rachel calmed down, and started up the car. Maybe she could see if Burt and Carole would mind watching Haili all night.

A week later, Halloween party was going on at Kurt’s. It was actually not too bad. Kurt was dressed as Katy Perry. He wasn’t normally into the dressing in drag thing, but Halloween was a good excuse. Kurt was circulating, when he saw Adam. He hadn’t expected him to be here. Kurt was sort of glad to see him. Even though he knew that Adam should be incredibly pissed at him. Kurt knew that. He went across to him. “Oh, hey, Adam.” He said, looking at him with a raised, surprised eyebrow. He waved at some of the nurses who’d come. It was a very kind of Grey’s Anatomy vibe going on. Kurt loved that, actually. He loved that show. He didn’t really know if Adam would start talking or not, so he chose to say more. “Look, Adam, I know that I was a true asshole to you. I know that. And I understand why if you don’t want to mend fences. I really would be surprised if you said that you did want to mend fences.” Kurt didn’t really know what else there was to say. But Kurt had at least tried. “I just… I’m not ready for something that could be called a relationship.” Kurt said, and almost couldn’t continue when he saw Blaine come into the party with someone dressed like Megan Fox from Transformers. Kurt knew this was the sister-in-law, at least. He turned back to Adam.

Blaine and Olivia arrived solo. Puck had chosen to stay at home with Aimee. Plus, they knew that he wasn’t invited. They were all down with that. Blaine watched as Olivia headed for Rachel to talk. Blaine was dressed as Sherlock Holmes, the RDJ version. He then caught a glance at Kurt, who was talking to that Crawford guy. That threw him. Blaine had only come to this party with the express purpose of getting him back. Even if it was a really dumb idea. Blaine, his pipe in his mouth, (it was just a prop) headed across the room. “Hey, boys.” He said, sliding his arm around Kurt’s shoulders. Kurt looked at him askance. “Yo, Doctor Who. Get lost.” He said. And he knew that that was so nuts. This whole thing was so bizarre. Blaine was fully aware that he might already be too drunk for this. He just hoped that they could work things out, provided that Doctor Who left them alone. “I need to talk to Kurt, in private.” Blaine almost called him ‘Ms Perry’. But he didn’t. He wasn’t joking and they both needed to know that. “You had your shot and it’s gone now, Doctor.”

“Would you stop calling me that?” Adam asked crossly. Kurt gave him an apologetic look. “Also, I am not stupid enough to date Kurt right now. He still has feelings for you.” Adam replied. He then turned to look at Kurt. “This aside, of course, I am willing to try and be friends, Kurt. Really.” Adam said, sharing at look with Kurt. “You can find me later, there’s some of the nurses I should talk to.” Adam said, leaning out and busing Kurt’s cheek before he headed down the hall.

This is when Kurt whirled on Blaine. “What the hell are you doing, Blaine? You told me that you didn’t want to be with me anymore. The entire town has been treating me like a leper. I fail to see how this is helping anything. You had no right to go and tell Adam to get lost.” Kurt couldn’t believe this, that he was actually getting angry. But it didn’t really matter, he was. “You need to decide, Blaine. Be with me and forgive me, or just let me go. Because I don’t think that even with what I did to you, there’s no excuse for your behavior. I deserve honesty and acceptance. It’s over, Blaine, if you aren’t going to be with me, then we’re done.”

That stumped Blaine, and Kurt walked away. Did he want to be with Kurt? Blaine wished he could say more to stop him from walking away.

Author’s note: Hope ya’ll liked! More angst before the end is near, I must say. I hope ya’ll are still hanging in. There will be more Faberry. Anyway, love it or not, tell me what you think! XD. This could have been longer, I know.


	7. Don't Let Go

Chapter Seven: Don’t Let Go

_Shadows above the sand_  
I waited so long to hold your hand  
Familiar road, helpless  
just acting like stupid kids  
was so distracted, yeah we’ve been careless  
It’s not too late 

_Baby open your eyes and hold on tight_  
just keep running and we can stay up all night  
don’t let go, don’t let go  
flying high as a kite no ground below  
Got me up in the sky running   
don’t let go, don’t let go 

_Sometimes the notion’s freight_  
like the tiny little heart breaks  
Something that can’t explain  
Just acting like stupid kids  
I’m so impatient and it’s so reckless  
It’s not too late  
But they’re a string holding  
us together just catch that and here we go 

Thanksgiving was apparently right around the corner. Things with Kurt and Adam were still strained. Kurt didn’t know what to do about that, and he didn’t know how or what to do to get rid of Blaine. He was constantly hanging around now. Two months ago, Kurt would have killed for that. It was just insane. It was like he’d done a complete one eighty. He was always around Kurt. Kurt was kind of angry. Blaine still wasn’t actually choosing to be with him. Kurt was losing all of the ground he’d gotten with Adam. Not that Kurt wanted ground with him. He was so incredibly all over the place. Kurt wanted Blaine to man up. But if he wasn’t going to, then Kurt wanted to move on with Adam. Adam was a very nice man, and he was incredibly attractive. Kurt let out a sigh. Right now, he was in the process of getting things for Thanksgiving. Kurt was throwing it at his place, so that Carole and Burt could just come over. Rachel and Haili were invited too, and Nick and Jeff, but Kurt wasn’t sure if they’d come or not. He was trying to pick a bag of potatoes. That was when Rachel walked up to him, looking confused.

Rachel approached him, letting out a sigh. “Kurt, I need to talk to you. I did something so incredibly stupid.” She looked at him, as he turned to her. Rachel tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “I’m.... I slept with someone.” She said, her voice low. The town was small, and there were ears everywhere. Rachel didn’t know how to deal with this. She bit her lip. “A female someone.” She said. Rachel missed Finn so much, she wasn’t sure that she’d ever stop. That might why she’d slept with Quinn. Trying something new. Rachel didn’t want to do it again, but Quinn had called a few times. Rachel wanted to know what Kurt thought about it. “I mean, I don’t know that I want to do it again. It just kind of happened. But she keeps calling to talk. About our relationship. We don’t even have one. We met up on a girls’ night. I can’t take this constant nagging thing. What do I do? I have to move on. I just don’t think that me being in a new relationship is the best idea right now.” That was so very true. Rachel was doing better than she was, but she still shouldn’t be getting into something new. Rachel let out a breath. Haili was with Burt and Carole. She hoped Kurt could help her. They were best friends.

Kurt looked at her. Was she seriously talking to him about this? “Are you serious? You are really talking to me about this?” He finally asked, as he picked up a bag of potatoes. “It’s not that I don’t want to help you, it’s just one, we’re in the middle of the grocery store, and two, it isn’t a good time. I’ve got a lot on my mind.” Kurt said, sighing. Kurt honestly had to admit, he was surprised that Rachel had slept with another woman. He shouldn’t have been, she had been raised by two men, but she’d never had an interest in women before. She had always had tunnel vision for Finn. Kurt sighed. Sadly, that wasn’t an option for her. So maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing. Kurt ran his hand over his hair, carefully. He had spent so much time trying to fix it. Her face was falling. “I’m sorry, Rachel. I know that this is very hard for you. You weren’t expecting this. Are you freaked out because it was a woman? That is incredibly weird if you aren’t feeling it. But if you are it’s okay. Everyone experiments from time to time, you know.” Kurt wasn’t sure that any of that was helpful.

They started walking again. Rachel had to admit, the fact that it was a girl wasn’t a big deal. She also knew that once she told Kurt it was Quinn he’d flip. Rachel knew it was all a complicated mess. Like Peyton Place or something. Rachel didn’t think that she could raise a part time child. Blaine had custody, but Quinn got her sometimes. Rachel had her own daughter to worry about. This was crazy. Rachel knew it would be insane to start something with Quinn right now. Rachel sighed again. “No…. the girl thing is fine. If I like girls it’s not a big deal. I mean, I was raised by two gay dads, I think I’ve always been a little open. I just… I still think about Finn all the time. I know that I have to start getting back out there. And I don’t regret sleeping with Quinn, I just don’t want to be in a relationship right now. I feel like there’s so much more that I need to work through before I get serious about someone.” It was then that she noticed that she’d said ‘Quinn’, and she hoped that Kurt hadn’t noticed. Rachel didn’t want to talk about that it had been Quinn. She let out an inward sigh, and prayed to God that Kurt would just have been ignoring her or something. Sometimes, that tended to happen to her. 

Most of that went in one ear and out the other, but excuse her, Quinn Fabray? She’d slept with Quinn? “You slept with my ex boyfriend’s baby mama? Seriously? What were you thinking? I mean, oh my God.” Kurt said, rolling his eyes. Kurt honestly couldn’t believe that she’d done this. “You…. oh my God. You… Rachel. You can’t be with her. You can’t. I mean…. You know that I want you to be happy, and if you’re gay, fine. But you don’t have to date Quinn. Seriously. That is going to complicate things so much.” She had been going through a tough time, but honestly. This was insane. “You will figure this all out. Just, please. Not with Quinn. We hate each other. We could never double date.” Kurt ran his shaking fingers through his hair, no longer caring if it got messed up. That was how much this bothered him. He didn’t even know what was going on with Blaine. If there was a future with him, that was. Kurt looked at Rachel. “You will figure things out with time. And when you’re ready you’ll date. You just, if you know you aren’t ready to date, tell Quinn that. And then you go about your life. Please, no Quinn.”

Later that evening, Blaine stood nervously outside Kurt’s door. He had to talk to him. They needed to clear the air, and he knew that. Blaine knew that Adam had been right when he had said that there were still a lot of feelings him and Kurt. Blaine wasn’t even sure what he wanted. He just knew that they had to talk. Maybe once they did, Blaine would know for sure what he wanted. Blaine waited patiently, he knew Kurt was home, he’d already checked the hospital. Of course, Quinn had been there, and it had been so awkward. Not that he had been surprised. They had had a lot of fights about Beth since they’d split. And that had been almost a month ago. Blaine was still feeling strange from having his haircut, too. His head felt a lot lighter. He ran his hand through his curls that he had left, and he finally called through the door, “Kurt, it’s Blaine. All I want to do is talk.” He really hoped that Kurt would come to the door. Blaine wasn’t hiding who he was anymore. He knew that he wasn’t bisexual. He was gay. And he had to at least tell Kurt that. He was still angry, but he knew that deep down, he did still love Kurt very much. As much as he loved Beth, his first time should have been with Kurt.

He wasn’t stupid. Kurt knew it was Blaine out there. He’d seen his truck drive up. Did he want to open the door? He honestly didn’t know Kurt finally screwed up his nerve and went to the door. “Blaine, what are you doing here? We don’t need to talk. I said everything I needed to say on Halloween. You either be with me or let me go. Blaine, I am sorry for what I did. Really. But you have to stop punishing me for this. You have to let it go. Especially if you want me back. Is that what you came here to say? Because if it wasn’t, you just get back in your truck and go home.” Kurt didn’t step back to let him in. He wasn’t going to let himself get hurt again. Kurt had to admit, he did still have some interest in Adam, too. Kurt really needed Blaine to make up his mind so that they could move on. Kurt folded his arms tightly, and didn’t budge. Blaine would feel more at home and comfortable if he’d let him in. Kurt worked on keeping his tears at bay. Kurt didn’t want to let him see how upset that this was making him. This was too hard. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. Love was supposed to be easier when it was right.

“I don’t know what I want, Kurt. I don’t. What I do know is that seeing you with Adam kills me. I am so angry at you for what you did…. But I do still love you deep down. I think about you all of the time.” Blaine paused, clearing his throat. “Kurt, I love Beth. She is beautiful. She is my daughter. I could never regret her. But it should have been you. Because of what happened to me, I never wanted sex. But with you, I wanted to. It may have taken me awhile, but I actually wanted it. You don’t know how monumental that is. I… Kurt, I don’t know if it’s just lust because we didn’t get to, but I can’t stop thinking about you.” That was all true. Every last word. Blaine just didn’t know where they were going to go from here. Blaine ran his hand over his chin. He got why Kurt was being so standoffish, too. He didn’t want Blaine to feel like he could stay. Blaine really hoped that they could come to some kind of conclusion. He was starting to yearn for Kurt. He knew that was a bad thing. All they did was hurt each other. Blaine didn’t want to do that anymore. “Kurt, I don’t want us to hurt each other. That’s all we seem to do, and I hate doing that. We can work past this, Kurt. We can have what we had again. We can be happy. We just have to try.”

The answer that came out of Kurt’s mouth surprised him. “Um, no, Blaine. I…. I do still love you. But… I want to see what will happen with Adam. I like him. I like him a lot. You are so beautiful, you really are. And amazing and sweet. You are a wonderful catch. But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep getting clobbered. I need to be with someone who actually wants to be with me. You just want to make me feel guilty. You don’t really want to commit. You’re still angry at me.” Kurt let out a sigh, as Blaine’s face was falling. He couldn’t do this again. Kurt had to move on. It was too hard to be around Blaine. He couldn’t go through all of this again. “Look, Blaine, I really do love you. I think that I loved you when I first laid eyes on you.” Kurt had started to cry. Blaine had, too. Before they could say anymore, they were kissing, Blaine pushing Kurt into the house, his hands all over him. Kurt and Blaine kissed hungrily, like they’d never kiss again. Kurt’s arms slipped around his waist, holding on tightly. Blaine’s arms slid around Kurt’s neck, his fingers catching in the hair at the nape. He shivered, as Blaine rubbed his length against Kurt’s.

Blaine pulled back to take off his shirt, tossing it to the floor. He had been working out a lot since he’d lost Kurt. Blaine and Kurt together both took off Kurt’s two shirts, he tended to wear a lot of layers. Even with warm weather. Blaine ran his hands over Kurt’s chest, as they kissed again, their tongues wrestling in their mouths. Blaine reached back with his foot and kicked the door closed. Blaine wasn’t freaking out at all. This was truly amazing. He would remember this forever. Blaine ran his hands down Kurt’s stomach, and unbuttoned his pants. He let them drop to the floor, and was faced with Kurt’s underwear. There would be nothing holding him back from sex once that underwear was off. He didn’t stop, he took off his own jeans, he was now naked, he’d been going commando. Blaine felt oddly self-conscious, but he stopped when he saw Kurt licking his lips in anticipation. Blaine kissed him again, pressing his body against Kurt’s. A soft moan left Kurt’s lips. Blaine’s hands slipped into Kurt’s underwear, gripping his ass. Kurt gasped, arching up into his touch. Blaine pressed closer, their cocks rubbing together. They both gasped at the contact. Blaine’s fingers hooked in Kurt’s underwear, and slid them off, Kurt stepping out of them.

There were no longer any labels holding them back. In the literal sense. They were both naked. They both stood there for a second, like they might take it back or something. Blaine didn’t want to take it back. Blaine wanted this. More than anything he’d ever wanted. It couldn’t erase the last year and a half, but it would make up for lost time. Kurt was beautiful. Blaine kissed him so deeply. He pressed up against him, and then there was a silent discussion about if it would be there or not, and it was decided that it wasn’t going to happen. Kurt took Blaine’s hand and led him up the stairs. He would rather it were his bedroom. Kurt let the door bang open and they fell to the bed, a tangle of limbs. Kurt held him close, with his legs, holding him still against his cock. Blaine moved his hips, and that glorious friction happened again. Kurt was so glad to have him this close. Despite what he’d said. His lover moved down to Kurt’s length, and took him in his mouth, sucking hard. Kurt’s eyes closed instantly, and Blaine sucked very hard. Long and languid sucks of his tongue. Kurt let out a soft moan. It felt amazing.

The ability to turn Kurt on like this was a big turn on for Blaine. He was so hot. Blaine’s hand longed to roam his own length. He took as much of Kurt in his mouth as he could, he didn’t have a gag reflex. Kurt let out a moan and his head dropped back on the pillow. Kurt let out a groan, and his hand moving up into Blaine’s hair and tugging. Blaine slipped a wet finger inside Kurt’s entrance, and Kurt let out a breathless moan. Blaine’s finger moved at the same time his mouth did, and Kurt’s hips arched up. Blaine lifted his hand, and reached to get a condom. He sheathed himself and pulled Kurt up onto him, and he slipped inside him. They both let out moans. They moved together, their mouths meeting. Blaine shivered, dropping his head on Kurt’s shoulder. They moved faster, Blaine’s hands stroking Kurt’s back. They moved and panted breathlessly together. They kissed again, Blaine’s hands scratching at Kurt’s back. They were soon coming, Blaine’s head dropping back to Kurt’s shoulder. He pressed kisses on his shoulder, letting out a sigh. That had been much better then he thought it would be. Blaine couldn’t imagine giving that up. Beth was with his brother and sister in law, so he didn’t have to go anywhere.

“What did this mean?” Kurt asked, as he pushed Blaine to the side, laying back on the bed. He let out a soft sigh. Kurt was so sexually sated right now. They had to talk about it though. They had to decide what they were. Kurt laid his head on the bed, keeping all of his extremities to himself. Blaine, however, wrapped an arm around Kurt’s waist, stroking his skin. Kurt had to admit, that felt really good. He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t want to scare Blaine off, and he didn’t want to fight. Kurt was scared. He had never been so scared in his life. Blaine was all he wanted. That was scary though. Kurt didn’t want to get left again. That was something that he knew that he could never go through again. Kurt let out a breath. “Blaine, I know that this could scare you off… I just, we have to talk about what this means.” Kurt didn’t know what else to say. It was making him so nervous. Kurt sighed. He didn’t know what Blaine was going to say, and that was making him even more nervous. Kurt let out a huge sigh. “You have no idea how much I don’t want to have this conversation. I so don’t.”

That was something that Blaine didn’t know how to answer. Blaine didn’t want to upset him. He also knew that he couldn’t give up Kurt. Kurt was amazing. Even if he was still angry about what Kurt had done. Kurt honestly had hurt him so much. Blaine loved him so much, though. He let out a breath, tracing circles on Kurt’s stomach. He didn’t know how to start with what he had to say. He didn’t exactly know how he felt. He started to talk slowly. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing. “Kurt…. I have to admit, I’m still angry. I don’t know how to get over that, but I am still in love with you. Seeing you with Adam at your party really hurt. And I know that I had no right to be angry. I was engaged to Quinn. I just… I know that I couldn’t stay away from you anymore.” Blaine just hoped that it wasn’t lust because of them not having had sex. They had had it now. Blaine didn’t know what Kurt would say to that, either. He was on pins and needles for sure. Blaine ran his hand up Kurt’s stomach, and ran it over his chest. It felt so good, to just be lying here and touching him. Blaine didn’t know what else there was he could do. To get Kurt to believe him, that was. Kurt was the only thing he wanted. Besides Beth, that was, and he had her. Blaine sighed.

“Blaine, that is great that you say that. But I don’t want you to change your mind later. If we do this, we have to both be all in. I am not getting into this just to be left again.” Kurt wasn’t going to go through that. “I know I’m the one who dumped you… I just can’t go through another breakup. I can’t. So you have to be with me. Is that something that you can do? Be with me?” Kurt asked, turning to look into Blaine’s eyes. He didn’t know how to else to say it. He just wanted Blaine to know that he was serious. That he wasn’t going to do this if they both didn’t want it. Kurt felt his eyes filling with tears. He didn’t think that he could do this. Have this talk. It was so much. He just knew that he couldn’t back out now. Kurt would scare him off for good. And that wasn’t what he wanted right now. It was going to be good if they could agree. Kurt let out a breath. This was nerve wracking. He put an arm around Blaine tightly. Blaine didn’t know what Kurt had really gone through while they’d been apart. It had been bad. Although he knew Blaine had gone through hell, too. They both deserved to be happy. That was all he wanted. To finally be happy. Kurt looked into his hazel eyes. “You have to promise me that this is it. We’re in this for good.”

Was that what he was saying? Blaine wasn’t sure that he was ready for forever, exactly. What he did know what that he couldn’t be without Kurt right now. And he couldn’t imagine life without him in it. “I can’t promise forever. What I can promise is that I want to be with you. Really be with you. I’d be fooling myself if I said that my issues were gone. They aren’t. I will never be fully rid of them. But I want to be with you, Kurt. I can’t imagine life without you. All I want is you, and Beth. I know that this wasn’t how we planned, but we have to make lemons out of lemonade.” Blaine said. “We’ve been given a second chance. We have to take it.” That was true. It sounded a little callous, after all that they had been through, and why they broke up, but he meant it. Blaine leaned up on an elbow to look at him, his hand on Kurt’s chest. “I am sorry for hurting you, I was angry at you for hurting me. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you. Honestly, there was a lot I shouldn’t have done. But I don’t have any regrets. There’s no point in regretting things. You can’t change it. I just… I want us to start fresh. Put all of this behind us. Or at least try the best we can. We can take it slow. I need to take it slow anyway.” Blaine could tell that Kurt was wavering. “You know that you want this. You know that you want to be with me.” Blaine traced a heart around Kurt’s chest. He loved him so much it actually hurt.

He was quiet for awhile, digesting this. Kurt didn’t know if Blaine really meant what he was saying, but he hoped that he did. Kurt lifted his blue eyes to look into Blaine’s hazel ones. “I want to believe you. I really do. I still have reservations about this…. but I want to be with you. Just… promise me that if you start to have doubts, you tell me before we get in too deep. You have to talk to me about what you’re really feeling. No secrets, okay? You don’t have to tell me anything till you’re ready but do your best, okay?” Blaine listened and nodded. Kurt kissed him, just wanting to be with him for awhile. He closed his eyes, and Blaine lay his head on Kurt’s chest. They laid there, a tangle of limbs, just holding onto each other. Kurt never wanted to let go. He couldn’t imagine anything better than this. He just hoped that Blaine wouldn’t have to go straight home to Beth. That was another thing. Could he be a stepfather? He didn’t know. He knew that Quinn was going to hate this, too. She wouldn’t want him in Beth’s life. Not that it was her decision. He knew that Blaine had full custody and Quinn only saw her intermittently. Kurt knew that Beth was still her daughter, though, and she’d hate this. He fell to sleep with that thought on his mind.

A couple of days later, Quinn was walking into the elementary school after school was done for the day. It was officially Thanksgiving vacation. Quinn had to talk to Rachel. They had to settle things. Quinn just couldn’t handle her trying to back out of things. Quinn had to know where they stood. If they were going to part ways, she wanted to know. Quinn tucked some of her long blonde hair behind her ear as her heels clicked on the floor. She watched Rachel’s classroom, letting out a deep breath before she opened the door. Quinn didn’t know what else to do but this. She was so beautiful. Quinn cleaned her throat and Rachel looked up at her noise. “Rachel, we need to talk. You aren’t going to keep brushing me off. We have to define what this is. I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat…. All I can do is think about you.” Quinn hated laying this all out on the table, but she couldn’t help herself. Quinn had to know. Once she knew, she could get back to her life. Quinn folded her arms tightly. She knew that Rachel had been through a lot, and she didn’t know what to do to help with that. Quinn couldn’t imagine going through what Rachel had. She might have killed herself if that had happened to her. Quinn didn’t even believe in suicide. She knew so much of her life was contradictions, but she didn’t want that anymore. Quinn wanted stability.

Rachel wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t want to be with Quinn. She didn’t want to be with anyone. She didn’t know if she could actually commit to anyone. She had had it all with Finn, and now he was gone. Rachel did admit that Quinn was beautiful. The most beautiful girl she’d ever seen. She just didn’t think that she could be in one. She loved her freedom right now, and hated it at the same time. It was unfair that she had it but nice that she did. Rachel couldn’t get into another relationship right now. “Quinn, you are a very beautiful girl. I can’t be with someone right now. I’m… I lost my husband a long time ago, over a year, but I am still not ready for a relationship. I don’t know if I ever will be. I had the love of my life until he was taken from me. I don’t…. I don’t want to bring someone else in my life right now. All of my problems. You deserve something better. You need to find someone else to be with.” Rachel sighed. She didn’t want to hurt Quinn, and if they dated, that would happen. Quinn deserved to be happy, and be with someone who could really be with her. Rachel just hoped that Quinn would accept what she’d said and move on.

Listening to all of that, Quinn decided that there was only one way to convince her. She stepped forward, and slid her arms around Rachel, and kissed her. She kissed her forcefully, and Rachel let her. Quinn pushed up Rachel’s skirt, leaned her against the desk, and slid her hand up into Rachel’s underwear. She slipped her fingers inside of her, hard and fast, as she kissed her. Quinn pressed up against her, their breasts rubbing together. Rachel let out a moan. Quinn wasn’t sure if this would really convince her, but she couldn’t keep her hands off her. Quinn’s other hand slid up an cupped Rachel’s breast, groping her through her clothes. Rachel’s breath caught, and Quinn’s breath caught, too. Quinn didn’t really know what to do about these feelings. She knew that if Rachel thought that she didn’t want to be with her, then she wouldn’t. Quinn didn’t know how to change things. She wished that she could know the right thing to do. Right now, she had her arms full of Rachel, and that was the good thing. She moved her fingers, sliding around in Rachel’s wet folds, causing her to squeak. Quinn had to admit, she was getting addicted to having sex with Rachel. She kissed Rachel’s collarbone, her fingers moving faster. When Rachel came, Quinn stepped back. She didn’t say anything, just walked away. After giving her a look.

Thanksgiving morning was a little chilly. Blaine was eating twice, and so was Kurt. They were eating with Kurt’s family, and then with Blaine’s. Blaine was nervous to be around Kurt’s family, but only because he was nervous around new people. Blaine had spent the night with Kurt the night before. Kurt had gotten up early, he was making a few dishes to take with him to each place. Blaine yawned, stretching in the bed. He had to shower. Kurt had laid out his clothes for him. Blaine smiled affectionately, he was so anal. Blaine got up, and headed for the shower. Blaine stepped under the water, letting it run over him. Blaine knew that he had to figure his shit out, for good. They would break up for good if he couldn’t figure things out. He didn’t want to lose Kurt again. Blaine ran the soap over his stomach. Blaine didn’t really know how this was going to go down, but he really hoped that they could work it out. He just wanted today to go smoothly. He had warned Puck about treating Kurt respectfully. He knew Olivia would help with that. Blaine honestly didn’t want two of the most important people in his life to fight anymore. Blaine understood why. Puck was so protective, and why he was so angry. Blaine just didn’t want to see them fight. They were important to him.

Kurt was making pies. He had already made a potato casserole to take to his parents’. Kurt assumed that they’d need the dish, Carole worked at the hospital. Thankfully, Kurt was off today. He didn’t want to miss being with his family. He honestly was nervous about going to Blaine’s though. He knew that Blaine had talked to him, Puck, that is, but Kurt was still nervous. He knew that Blaine and Olivia could only do so much. Blaine had promised that Puck would behave, though. Kurt didn’t really know how this was all going to go, and that scared him. Kurt liked to know where things were headed. He liked to have a plan. Kurt didn’t know if he had the strength for today, but he would try. Kurt was really happy, though. Even if he wasn’t sure that he could be what Blaine needed. Kurt heard the shower turn off, and Kurt knew Blaine’d be down soon. He had grabbed some bagels to toast up. Kurt didn’t want to have a real heavy breakfast. Not if they were going to be eating twice. He looked up as Blaine came in the kitchen. Kurt gave him a smile. “Hey, baby. I hope I didn’t wake you.” Kurt said. He honestly didn’t know what he’d done to deserve someone as beautiful as Blaine. And honestly, he was. Blaine was far too beautiful to be in a place like this, too. He should be off somewhere in the limelight. Kurt leaned into him when Blaine put his arms around him from behind. “You smell good.”

Blaine held him tightly. “Smells good in here, baby.” Blaine kissed his neck and then went to get coffee. Blaine poured it, putting a bagel in the toaster, too. Blaine didn’t want to eat a lot. “You’re totally hot when you cook.” He knew that they’d said no secrets, but he knew that Kurt still hadn’t told him something. He didn’t think it was something super serious, though, so he hadn’t pressed. Blaine knew that Kurt would tell him when he was ready. “I’ve got to stay at home tonight, or bring Beth here. Which would you prefer?” He asked. Blaine wasn’t sure how Kurt felt about Beth. He was going to have to deal with her if he was with Blaine, but he knew he’d have to ease him into it. Blaine didn’t want to argue with him about it. He knew that it could be hard to raise someone else’s kid. Blaine just knew that he would do anything for Beth. He didn’t want to be put in the middle of Kurt and his daughter. Blaine pulled his bagel out to cream cheese it. He waited for Kurt to answer, he wasn’t sure what he expected him to say. Blaine turned to face him when he was finished. Blaine watched him as he nervously worked on some pies. Blaine knew it wouldn’t take that long.

Kurt finally spoke. “I’m…. I want to be ready to be around her. I know it’s not her fault that she was born. I just… I need some time to adjust. But Blaine…. I will be in her life, too. She’s apart of you, so she’ll be apart of me.” Kurt looked at him. Kurt didn’t think he could see her yet. “So, please, don’t bring her yet. I just am not ready yet.” Kurt said, putting the pie in the oven. He didn’t have anything to keep his hands busy anymore. Blaine was his world, and honestly that scared him more than he wanted to admit. Kurt wasn’t ever that attached to men he dated. Not after Trip. When you got in too deep it tended to mess you up. Kurt honestly couldn’t handle anymore of the crazy drama. Kurt just wanted t be happy. He thought that after all he’d been through he deserved that much. That was just the truth. He went to get some coffee. He just hoped that Blaine was okay with that. He just couldn’t handle it yet. Kurt had to tell him about Rachel and Quinn, too. He knew that I would be better coming from him. Other than someone in town. Kurt just couldn’t say the words. It was too insane. He still couldn’t believe it had happened. It was insane. Kurt didn’t even know that Rachel was into girls like that. But he supposed that there was a first time for everything. Maybe it was just a onetime thing.

“It’s okay, Kurt. I understand. I’m not going to make you if you’re not comfortable.” Blaine stepped forward to kiss him. “I’m going to go ahead and pop by my place, but I’ll meet you at your dad’s.” Blaine said, and kissed him again. “I love you.” Kurt repeated the words, and Blaine went to get his keys and coat. He wanted to go and get some of Beth’s things before he went anywhere. She was with Puck and Olivia at the moment. Blaine wouldn’t see her till they got to their place. He had been planning on it, since Rachel’s daughter would be there, but he didn’t know if he should. Make things awkward, that is. Blaine also knew that it would be hard for Kurt. So, with his siblings she would stay. Puck was going to be a pain the ass, today. Blaine didn’t know how best to handle him. He got into his vehicle and headed to his place. Then he had to go and see his siblings, and Beth for a bit before he had to go to Burt and Carole’s. It was going to be crazy. Blaine wasn’t expecting Burt and Carole to have issues though. Rachel might, if she was there. That would hopefully be smooth if it was. Although, Rachel no reason to treat him that way. 

About an hour later, he strolled into the front door to his brother’s place. Blaine stepped in and dropped Beth’s bag of things. They’d best be sleeping here tonight for Black Friday shopping with Olivia. Kurt was on call. So he wasn’t going to go. He was sad about it, too. Blaine called out to his siblings and headed for the kitchen. Puck was there. “Oh, good, Noah.” Blaine said. “We need to talk. You can’t treat Kurt like you did when he was at the grocery store. You have to be respectful and polite. I know we had this talk already but I want to make sure that you know the score. You will not do anything. I know that Kurt hurt me, but that’s all between us. We are back together, and staying that way. You are an amazing brother for wanting to be protective. But I can handle things. I really can. We’ve been given a second chance. Not sure why, but we have.” Blaine just hoped that Puck would listen. He needed Beth to be okay with Kurt, and her uncle being angry at him wouldn’t help at all. He just wanted to be clear to everyone. Sometimes Puck needed to be reminded about things like this. He would still tend to do his own thing, no matter what. You had to remind him of what the right was to do. But he was slowly getting better.

Puck arched an eyebrow. Honestly. He knew why Kurt was being so insistent on this. That’s where this was really coming from, not Blaine. Puck didn’t really want to agree, but he knew that he had to. Puck didn’t want Blaine to get hurt again. He supposed that he got why they had split. Kurt had had a lot going on. That didn’t make it acceptable. Puck also didn’t want to upset Blaine anymore than he needed to. Puck knew that his brother had been through enough. Puck would want to beat up himself if he hurt Blaine. “I know, B. I won’t hurt him, I’ll be as polite as I can. But I can’t promise that I’ll be behind this right away. I don’t know that I trust him just yet.” Puck said. He just hoped that Blaine would accept that. He didn’t know when he’d be okay with Blaine being with Kurt. Puck didn’t like the way Kurt had broken up with Blaine. If he didn’t want to be with him anymore there were ways to fix that without doing what he’d done. Puck knew that he couldn’t imagine what Kurt had gone through, but that didn’t make it right. Puck watched Blaine. “I really don’t want to get hurt again. But I care about you.”

Blaine knew that he couldn’t expect more than that out of his brother. Blaine would have to wait for him to be behind this. And that was okay. As long as Puck was going to try. “That’s all I can ask of you, Noah. I can’t expect you to be behind this right away. I just want you to try. I know that Kurt hurt me, but we’re starting over. So we’re putting all of that behind us.” Blaine didn’t really want anymore aggravation. He just wanted to be with Kurt and raise his daughter. He honestly just wanted to let all of this go, and move past it all. It might be asking too much. Blaine really wanted to start putting all of this behind him. Blaine was tired of feeling like he had the entire world sitting on his shoulders. Blaine hated all of that sitting on his chest all the time. It was exhausting, honestly. Blaine knew that he had to get some therapy going. He had had some before, but it hadn’t helped much. It might have been the one he’d chosen. Blaine wasn’t one to believe in it normally, but he knew that if he wanted to be with Kurt, he had to work on things. “It means a lot to me that you’re willing to try. It’s all I can expect.” Blaine got out some of the things Liv would need to start cooking. He really was looking forward to the day. It was nice to be with family.

The day went smoothly. Kurt was just back at home after being at Blaine’s. He didn’t know what was going to happen with Blaine but so far so good. Seeing Beth had been so hard. But he knew that he had to get past that. Beth was in Blaine’s life for good. It was still hard to comprehend, but it was what was true. Kurt settled on the couch. Life was about to go and get really complicated.

_**Author’s note: Hope ya’ll liked! I am hoping that it’s gonna get less full of angst soon. The song at the beginning was Don’t Let Go, by Lea Michele. If you haven’t checked out her album yet, omg do so. XD. Review if you want!** _


	8. Burn With You

Chapter Eight: Burn With You

_We are broken, we can't fix it_  
There's no cure for our condition  
Desperate eyes are staring at me  
should be hopeless but we're happy 

_It's not perfect here between us_  
Even angels have their demons  
Trapped inside this twisted circle  
It ain't right but it's eternal 

_There's a white light_  
and it's calling me  
And it's promising ecstasy 

_But I don't want to go to heaven_  
If you're going to hell  
I will burn with you  
I will burn with you 

Christmas was rapidly approaching. There was a lot of shopping going on. Puck was just getting to the diner, he was meeting Olivia. Puck was already finished with his Christmas shopping. He had to admit, he was still concerned about Blaine being with Kurt. But he knew that Blaine had a choice and he had made it. Puck slid onto a stool at the counter.

Olivia's stepfather approached him. Puck liked the man. He cared about Olivia, and that went a long way with Puck. He actually couldn't wait for Christmas. It was a favorite time of year for Liv and her mother. Puck liked that they cared so much about it. He wasn't ever going to tire of that. Holidays hadn't been as big of a deal in his family. Puck didn't need to open the menu, but he did anyway. Puck brushed his hand over his head. "Liv's going to join me." He told Luke. Puck had gotten here early, Olivia was dropping Aimee off at Blaine's so he could babysit. Puck knew that they had to get a babysitter on the regular and not lean on Blaine so much. Even if Blaine didn't mind. Puck was also concerned about how it would effect Blaine and Kurt's relationship. Why he wasn't sure, because he was still concerned about Blaine getting hurt. But he didn't want this to effect them negatively and hurt him that way either. Puck was probably overprotective, but with Blaine, it was understandable. Blaine had already been through enough. Puck decided on a soda to drink. "I'll have a Coke to start off with. I'm early. Livvy's dropping off Aimee at Blaine's."

A lot had gone on the past year. Luke tended to keep out of it as much as possible. Except the stuff that applied to his family. That included Puck and his brother. They were important to his daughter. Luke gave him a nod. "How is Blaine doing?" Luke asked, and he hoped that the answer was positive. Luke was really concerned about him dating this Kurt kid. Luke was trying to be open minded. It was hard when it came to this Kurt kid. In a small town, stuff like that wasn't easily forgotten. It would take years in some cases. He really didn't want that in Blaine's situation because it would hurt Blaine. Blaine had had enough of that. There was only so much he could take.

"He's actually doing okay right now. Arguing with Quinn about Beth's custody but otherwise okay. They can't agree on anything right now." Puck really thought that Quinn should give in a little. She worked as a nurse, she couldn't be around as often with her as often as Blaine could be. He just hoped that they could settle out of court. No one needed that. Least of all Beth. Puck cared about Beth and didn't want to see her go through that. Although it wasn't going to be easy either way you looked at it. "I'm not sure how he and Kurt are doing, they've been keeping to themselves a lot. I think they're juset enjoying their time together while they can."

Olivia stepped into the diner and grinned when she saw her fiancé. Olivia was glad to get to spend some time with him, just the two of them. Christmas was so close. She was excited about that, too. Christmas was such a magical time of year. Olivia headed up to the counter. "Hey, Daddy." She said to Luke, and wrapped her arms around Puck. "I hope you weren't waiting long." Olivia said, kissing him on the cheek. She knew that Luke could be uncomfortable with PDA. "Get me a chocolate milkshake, please, Daddy." Olivia told him, and he went to do so. Olivia sat down on the stool next to Puck. "I missed you baby." Olivia told him. It was true. She had. Olivia tossed some of her long black hair behind her shoulder. She had had to deal with Kurt when she had dropped Aimee off, and she had had to grin and bear it. She still wasn't sure what Blaine was still doing with him. But she supposed that that was Blaine's choice. He just was going to have to deal with the consequences if this went wrong. Olivia of course didn't want that to happen to Blaine. Olivia laced her fingers with her fiancé's.

"I wasn't and I missed you too." Puck told her. She was obviously the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen. Puck couldn't imagine being with anyone else. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. Her skin was gorgeous. That was his favorite thing about her. Her gorgeous mocha skin. Puck wondered if he should tell her what he had heard about Rachel Berry and Quinn. Supposedly they were sleeping together. Someone had seen Quinn leaving school property the other day. He was almost hoping that was true. Only because she'd given Blaine such a hard time. Puck thought Livvy might appreciate the irony. Puck watched as Olivia flipped through the menu, even though she didn't need to look at it, either. He had decided on a burger and fries. He loved Luke's burgers. They were really good. "You hear the rumor?" Puck asked finally, his tone curious. He was sure that she had, it was going around the town and the rez. Salacious rumors always got around. He was wondering if there was any truth to it. Puck thought she'd been extremely bitchy to Blaine about his choices, even if Puck got why she'd been so pissy about it. It couldn't have been easy to hear that Blaine was gay. Although wasn't it better that he'd hurt her now as opposed to ten years down the road? Puck thought it was better this way.

Sam Evans stepped into Luke's. He had just moved there from Tennessee. Nashville, to be exact. Sam had a bit of a stubble going on, and his long blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail. He was wearing a pair of tight Wranglers, a red flannel shirt, and a heavy wool coat. He had bought a farm just outside Raleigh, he had just lost his parents. He had custody of his younger siblings Stacie and Stevie. They were only eight. They were twins. Sam wasn't sure how to raise them. He was only 21 years old, he was just getting his life back on track. He was sure that he was going to mess their lives up. He headed across the diner to grab a small table, his cowboy boots, which were old and scuffed, sounding across the floor. Sam settled into a seat, opening the menu. His siblings were with their new nanny. Sam was going to need help with them, as much as possible. Sam opened the menu, and looked up, everyone in the diner was staring at him. Sam wasn't going to get used to that anytime soon. He'd just been living in Nashville. Sam played and wrote songs on the guitar, but he'd failed at being a country singer. He was almost glad he'd had to move out here. Back home, people were talking about his failure openly, and that had hurt a lot.

When the newcomer walked in, Luke had to admit it was a complete shock. They had of course heard that a farm had been purchased, but they hadn't heard much about the buyer. Luke had seen this guy before on the news. He had been a country singer. Luke knew because Olivia was a country fan and she'd mentioned him before. Sam Evans, he thought he was. Luke headed over to take his order. Luke looked at him, he looked impossibly young, and Luke knew that there were two kids that were with the buyer of the farm. Luke wondered if the town of Raleigh would accept this newcomer and his family. Luke adjusted his blue ballcap and pulled out his pad and pencil for taking orders. "What'll you have?" Luke asked, deciding it was best not to mention that he'd recognized him. Just on the sure thing that it was a sore subject. Luke said, "Today's special is a blt and fries. We don't tend to be too fancy here." Luke didn't know if he could even introduce some of the more complicated dishes that he knew how to make. He had gotten into cooking in high school, and had tried lots of different things. If he'd wanted to leave Raleigh, he'd have gone to culinary school. Luke hadn't ever left Raleigh, except to go a town over. Luke waited, his pencil poised, looking at Sam. The kid looked exhausted. Luke got a lot of rest, surprisingly, despite his wife's annoying habit of watching a lot of tv.

Sam looked up, a lock of his hair falling out of his ponytail. He was glad that this guy didn't seem to recognize him. Sam hoped that that would continue to be true. He handed the menu to Luke. "Grilled cheese and tomato soup with sweet tea." Sam requested. He was heading to the Mom and Pop grocery store when he was finished eating, and then to the bookstore. He had just finished a book, so he was in the market for a new one. Sam had dyslexia, so it was something he was proud of that he could read. Sam liked fantasy novels the most. He cast his gaze up at Luke, wondering if this was the Luke that owned the diner. Sam folded his hands on the table, watching Luke write that down and head off to the counter. Sam brushed back the lock of hair, and cast his glance around. The diner was really kind of nice. Sam had gone to a place like this in Nashville. Sam reached into his back pocket and pulled out a comic book, Iron Man. Sam liked comic books and super heroes. Sam opened it to read while he was waiting. Sam hoped that the food here would be good. He hadn't eaten at a diner in at least a year. He'd been too busy falling short of the music goal he'd set for himself. Small towns sucked.

Puck and Olivia shared a Look. They couldn't believe the new guy was in Luke's. The rumor about Rachel was forgotten. Puck wondered if he should try and engage him in conversation. The dude looked familiar, too, and he wasn't sure why. Puck ordered a burger and fries, and a strawberry shake. Olivia got a plate of chili fries. Puck wondered what he was going to say if he did go over. He was hoping to make the guy feel welcome. It could be hard being new. He watched the guy reading a comic, he was looking like he was trying to blend in. Unfortunately, in a place like Raleigh it was next to impossible. He touched Olivia's shoulder. "You heard from Blaine in the last few days?" He asked, they tended to worry when they hadn't seen him. By product of him being abducted all those years ago. They might one day stop suspecting the worst, but it didn't seem likely. Puck was hoping that he wasn't with Kurt. Otherwise he was sure that Blaine was fine. Things had been going better since Thanksgiving, he had to admit. Even if he didn't really want to. That would mean that he was admitting that Kurt was doing Blaine good. And he didn't want to do that. Puck still didn't trust Kurt with Blaine. He thought that he would just end up hurting Blaine again. And when that happened Puck would beat the fuck out of him. Once was enough.

Before Olivia could answer, Blaine stepped in the diner and did a double take when he saw Sam. "Oh my God, you're Sam Evans! I love your music." Blaine exclaimed. He couldn't believe that he was here in Raleigh. Blaine had thought that if Sam had been given the chance he could really have been something. Blaine sat down at Sam's table, hoping that he didn't mind. Blaine couldn't help himself. He brushed curls out of his eyes. He didn't want to be a total fan or anything, and he hoped that he could reign in his enthusiasm. But he really did like his music. It was good. And Sam was gorgeous.

Great, a fan. Sam normally would have been glad to come across one. But now that he had given up that part of his life, he didn't want to deal with it anymore. Sam had to admit, though, this guy was really hot. That was a fringe benefit. Sam blushed a little, he couldn't help himself. He had never seen curls like those. He hoped to reach out and touch them. Sam shook himself, who was even assuming that this guy was even into guys? Sam brushed a lock of his hair back. "You know my music? I didn't think that anyone was paying attention." That was a diplomatic way to put it.

"Oh, yeah, I have all of your songs memorized. I was so sad to hear you were leaving the music business." Blaine's fingers itched to reach out and take his hand, as if he could. Kurt would kill him, and there were eyes everywhere. Yet, there was something about Sam. There was an innocence that he really liked. They were both blushing, and Blaine really found himself wanting to kiss Sam. And it wasn't just because he loved Sam's music. There was just something he liked. Blaine was going to get himself in trouble, he just knew it. He ran a hand through his unruly curls. Crazily wishing it was Sam who was touching them. Blaine tried to reign himself in. "I heard you randomly on the radio one day and I was hooked. You just…. there's this yearning in your voice. I just…. I really respond to it." Blaine had listened to it a lot after he'd first gotten back from his abduction. He wasn't sure what it was about Sam's music that spoke to him. There was just something about Sam that he was drawn to. His hand reached out of its own accord, lacing his fingers through Sam's before he could stop himself. Sam was blushing deeply but he stroked the back of Blaine's hand. That felt really good. Plus, he and Kurt were fighting about Beth again. If Kurt didn't want a boyfriend with a child that could be arranged. Blaine was sick of fighting.

When Blaine held his hand, Sam was overjoyed. He stroked the back of Blaine's hand, marveling at the mocha skin. It was gorgeous. Sam had never seen skin that gorgeous before. He was mesmerized by it. It was possibly the most beautiful skin that he had ever seen. It had been a long time since he had dated someone. Someone that was better than his ex Damascus. They had hit it off and then Damascus had turned into a really bad choice. Sam was glad to have a new chance, to move on. Maybe it would be with Blaine. "You know me, but I don't know you. You are?" He asked, with a flirtatious grin. Sam really wasn't going to be able to flirt effectively, he was sure. It had been far too long since he'd had to. Not that he was assuming that that was happening. He wasn't going to assume anything. Sam watched as Blaine thought about his question. What would he say? It had been a very long time since Sam had flirted with anyone. But he didn't see a ring so at least he wasn't married. That was something. The last guy that Sam had flirted with had been married. Not that Sam had known at first. He hadn't. It was something that he tried to avoid. Mostly because Damascus had cheated on him. He didn't want to be that guy.

His cheeks were fire engine red under his mocha skin. Blaine gave him a smile back though. "I'm Blaine. Blaine Anderson." He said, butterflies in his stomach. He ignored the looks from the other dining customers, he didn't care what they thought, it's not like he was doing anything wrong. Blaine supposed it was borderline, but he really didn't care at the moment. Blaine knew that he should tell him about Kurt, but he couldn't bring himself to. He couldn't get himself upset right now. Thinking about Kurt would do that. Blaine looked at Luke when he came over, and ordered a burger, chili cheese fries, and a Coke, his look just daring Luke to speak up. He didn't want to hear any judgment, although Luke should be on his side anyway. They were family. Blaine watched as Sam dug into his tomato soup. Blaine liked that he was drinking sweet tea, too. But with Sam's accent, he was a Southern boy, so that was a given. Blaine looked at him eagerly. "You've got that farm outside town, right?" He asked, he hoped that Sam wouldn't be too upset that the town was gossiping. That was bound to happen in a town like this. It was always a risk when you did choose a small town to live in. But he had grown up here, so he wasn't used to anything but that. Blaine didn't know what it was like to live anywhere else. He didn't really want ot move though, he loved it here.

Sam really felt like this was a date. Even though he knew that was stupid to think. All Blaine had done was join him. Sam was so fluttery and nervous though. He couldn't help it. Blaine was gorgeous and so nice, at least it seemed so. "Yeah, I brought my family here from Nashville. I am in charge of my siblings now." Sam said, he hope that that wasn't going to scare Blaine off. It would some guys. Some women, too, although Sam hadn't dated a girl in a really long time. Sam wasn't sure that he wanted one, the last one he'd dated had used him as a punching bag. Sam was tired of that happening. Sam took a sip of his sweet tea, watching Blaine's face. He was truly adorable. Sam could hardly think when he looked into those hazel eyes. They were truly gorgeous and Sam would have nothing to compare them to. Okay. He was getting way ahead of himself. There was no guarantee that that's what was going on here. Sam might just be indulging in wishful thinking. "I'm going to rework the farm, raise animals." Sam said, he could become a real cowboy instead of just pretending to be one, and that was exciting to him. Sam brushed back a lock of his hair out of his eyes. It had fallen from his ponytail.

"Really? Oh my God, I have a daughter, Beth." He said, grinning widely. Blaine couldn't believe how lucky that was that in a way, Sam had kids. Blaine had to admit that made him even more attractive to him. Blaine was going to have to talk to Kurt before he went any further. Blaine didn't want to give Kurt a reason to be the one in the right. They were still arguing about whom had broken up with whom. When they fought it always came up. Blaine was tired of fighting about that. Because he was the one who had been hurt when Kurt had dumped him. Blaine never wanted to be in that position again. Even though Blaine did feel sorry for what he had done to Quinn. Although if what he had heard was true, she was banging Rachel Hudson. He had no idea if that was true or not. Blaine had heard about it from more than one person, though, and it had some validity to it. Blaine really thought it was a bit hilarious, since she had been so angry about him coming out. He supposed that he got why she'd been so upset, but it was kind of ironic that she was now sleeping with a woman. He pulled out his cell phone to show Sam pictures. He would show them to anyone who would look at them. He grinned widely and proudly. "She is getting so big, and she's so smart. I had this…. well, period where I was confused…. I was engaged to a woman. It didn't work out because I was hiding who I really was."

Meanwhile, Kurt and Adam were making out in an on call room. He wasn't sure how that had happened. Kurt had thought that he had ruined any chance he'd had with Adam. They were kissing very heatedly, and Kurt had to admit that he was enjoying making out without the possibility of a baby crying. Kurt was so tired of that. He did want kids one day, but not anytime soon, and Blaine having Beth was causing a huge problem. Kurt couldn't do it anymore. He hated to hurt Blaine, because he really did love him, but they were better off apart. Somehow things with Adam had started up again. Kurt wasn't going to let that get in the way of them being together. Yes, Blaine had been in Kurt's heart, but now he wasn't. That's all that could be said. They weren't meant to be. Even if he did feel like scum for thinking so. That was when Adam was called off on an emergency, and Kurt was set to getting put back together. When he opened the door, he found Blaine looking very upset. Kurt was very nervous. So very very nervous. He cleared his throat. "Hey, Blaine." He managed. He knew what was coming, and that was fine with him. Kurt didn't want to fight but he sensed one was coming. "It's…. it is what you think it is." Kurt finally said. He knew that would give Blaine pause.

Well, it was a shock. And it had been a long time coming. They didn't work together. Never really had. Blaine folded his arms tightly. Kurt couldn't believe that Kurt had admitted it. He also knew that he had no room to talk, since something was in the works with Sam, but at least he had the sense to tell Kurt before something happened. Blaine was more hurt that Kurt hadn't spoken up than that he had done it. Blaine gritted his teeth before he spoke. "You could have spoken up if you wanted out. You didn't have to cheat on me." Blaine snapped. He couldn't imagine being more hurt by Kurt. They had hurt each other enough. Blaine gritted his teeth more and geared up for a fight. "You and I both know that the end has been coming. We're fooling ourselves. But we could have ended this with us being friends, Kurt. I don't know that this will ever happen now. We've hurt each other enough. I don't want to put myself through anymore. I can't do this, Kurt. If you want Adam, go and get him. I'm not going to stand in your way. You and I just weren't meant to last, Kurt. Sometimes love just isn't enough." Blaine willed himself not to cry. Blaine didn't want to cry anymore in front of Kurt. He didn't want to let Kurt hurt him anymore. He didn't regret being with him though, it had gotten him prepared for the world of dating. It was worth it.

Kurt didn't try and stop Blaine from walking away. Kurt didn't have anything to say that would help make up for what he did. He sighed and leaned against the door. He wished that he could take back hurting Blaine, but he was really glad that it was over with Blaine. He would go over later and take Blaine his things. Kurt sighed more, not at all surprised that Blaine didn't want to be friends. They had done a lot to each other and being friends just seemed impossible. Kurt moved to go down the hall, he had to get into his rounds. Blaine would hopefully move on. Kurt brushed his hand over his brown waves, really wishing that he hadn't been so awful to Blaine. Never once had he thought that he would be the one to hurt someone like Trip had hurt him. Not that he had hurt Blaine like Trip had hurt him. No one had ever hurt anyone like Trip had hurt him. He moved down the hall, he had to get these done before Dr. Schuester found out. Kurt didn't need to get chewed out for that. Kurt was tired, he was looking forward to going home and falling into bed. Kurt didn't have much time to go before his shift was over. He had been up for nearly two days and he was ready to drop to the floor.

A week later, Kurt and Jeff were at Wal-Mart, looking for some baby things. The boys had decided not to find out the sex of the baby, so they were going through gender neutral things. Kurt had told him all about what was going on. He felt like a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Kurt was really enjoying himself with Adam. Adam was amazing, and there was no way that Kurt was going to let him get away again. Right now he and Jeff were looking at baby clothes. "Are you sure that you don't want to know the gender?" Kurt asked, as he fingered a pink baby onesie. It was really adorable, and why was he torturing himself by picturing Beth in it? Kurt moved through some more things. They were better off looking for furniture or something, it was too hard to shop for clothes hen you didn't know the sex. Kurt just hoped that Jeff wouldn't press him to talk. He was in a fairly good mood at the moment and didn't want it ruined. He brushed his hand over his chin. "You know, it would be much easier to baby shop if you did." Kurt teased him gently. Kurt didn't know what he would do without Jeff and Nick right now. They were his lifeline. Rachel was too busy banging Quinn to be much of a help at the moment. Kurt wasn't really sure that that was going to last. Rachel wasn't the type to be a lesbian. She was just grieving.

"You know we want to wait, Hummel." Jeff told him. He moved to look at toys. "We can't wait to be dads though." Jeff had mostly asked Kurt to help him because they were worried about him. They were trying to get him out and about. Jeff had seen Blaine out with this blonde guy a few times in the last week, too. He wasn't sure if Kurt knew about that, and he wasn't the one who wanted to tell him. Jeff wasn't sure if they should leave it up to chance either though. Then he might see them together or something. That wouldn't help matters. Jeff fingered a toy xylophone. They were hoping that their baby would be musical. Jeff himself played guitar and Nick played piano. He thought that was so hot, actually. Jeff knew that they couldn't force their child to be musical. But they were hoping that they could get him or her into it. "It's too convenient to just find out what the baby's gender is. I am glad that we're doing it this way." Jeff didn't want to have that surprise taken from him. Jeff was old fashioned that way. Nick would have been fine to know. He wanted what Jeff wanted. Jeff thought that was so cute that he loved him that much. "So…. what's going on with you and Blaine? You two breakup? I've seen him around without you." He covered.

Heaving a world weary sigh, Kurt resigned himself to talking about it. He hoped that they could just rehash this once and that was it. "We're both seeing other people. We didn't work out. Something just wasn't working with us. Love wasn't enough. We just weren't compatible. Sometimes it's okay to not want the same things." Kurt knew how incredibly lame that sounded. He didn't really care. The important thing was he and Blaine were both happy. That was how things were supposed to be. They both deserved it. Kurt honestly was tired of having to defend his relationship every five minutes. This small town thing wasn't at all helpful. Kurt picked up a soft teddy bear and held it, looking it over. He really wanted the matter to drop completely. He was done trying to defend himself and his relationship issues. Kurt deserved to have his life work out the way he wanted it. Kurt was happy for Blaine if he had moved on. Kurt had heard the big rumors about Blaine and the Evans guy. He had seen them together. They weren't exactly hiding anything. But Kurt hadn't exactly been secretive about him and Adam fooling around. There was a part of him that thought he might have done it on purpose to get Blaine to break up with him. He wouldn't put it past himself. Kurt really was starting to feel for Adam. He was incredibly amazing. He really was very enraptured by him.

That's when they bumped into a tall blonde guy in a cowboy hat. Oh…. Shit. It was Blaine's new boyfriend. Kurt wasn't sure that he was ready for this. Ready to see him up close. Have to be faced with this tall, blonde Adonis that clearly didn't mind that Blaine had Beth. That was actually killing him. Reminding him of why he and Blaine hadn't been right for each other. Kurt froze, wondering if Sam knew who he was. He might not, he was new here. He shared a look with Jeff. Neither one of them was sure what to say. Kurt met those striking green eyes, and they shared a look. Kurt really didn't know what to do. "Aren't you Sam Evans? I think I've seen you around." Kurt finally said, thankfully no tremors in his voice. He'd known that this would happen eventually. That they would run into each other. This was awkward, but at least Blaine and Adam weren't here. That would have been a million times worse. They all stood there for a few seconds, and Kurt felt like he was going to fall through the floor to the Earth's core. Kurt didn't think that he could speak anymore till Sam spoke back. Why was it taking so bloody long? Well, that came from listening to Adam talk so much. But it was super cute when Adam did it.

Sizing Kurt up, Sam wasn't sure what to say. He was here to get things for Beth. He hadn't expected to run into Blaine's crazy ex. This was very unexpected. Sam wasn't sure what to tell him because he wasn't sure if it was any of Kurt's business. He knew who Kurt was, even if Kurt didn't know him. "Let's not play games, Hummel. You are Blaine's ex, and I am his current boyfriend. But you don't get to act like the wounded party. You don't get to be the put out one who is being that way with me. I didn't do that to B to make him available to me." Sam said all of this with his slow Nashville drawl. He picked up a soft stuffed dog for Beth. He knew that Kurt had been trying to back off because of Beth. Sam really thought that he was lucking out in this situation. He was really starting to feel for Blaine. He knew it had only been a week, but sometimes you just knew. Sam brushed his hand over his arm in frustration. He was wearing his typical cowboy outfit, cowboy hat and all. He ran his fingers over his scruffy cheek. "You have moved on, let Blaine do the same. That's what he deserves. Hasn't enough happened to him in his life without you causing more strife?" Sam demanded to know, even if it was none of his business.

Jeff was seething with anger at this guy's audacity. But Jeff was biased since Kurt was his friend. "You have no right to judge Kurt and his choices. You may be Blaine's new boyfriend, but that's it. Blaine and Kurt had to deal with this on their own. You just be there for Blaine. That is all you can do. I get why you're so pissed. Kurt did mess up. But that hasn't any bearing on what you and Blaine have." Jeff said, hoping that Kurt wouldn't get upset that he'd just jumped in to defend him. He just couldn't stand by and let some failed country singer get in Kurt's face like that.

Sam folded his tight arms, not sure what to retort. He also didn't know who this guy was. Must be a friend of Kurt's. Sam didn't care, if it was none of his business either. "Look, dude, I don't know who you are, but if it's none of my business, it's certainly none of yours." Sam was so angry. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to shopping for my boyfriend's baby." This was said with a snap, and Kurt's heart fell to the floor. Sam moved to get another toy, his hands shaking with anger. But he told himself that he was the one who had Blaine, so he got to win. Sam took a few calming breaths, he was into yoga.

After Sam had walked away, Kurt had to use all of his strength not to break down in the aisle. He didn't want to give Sam the satisfaction. Kurt brushed his hand through his hair. He couldn't believe that that had just happened. "Oh, Jeff….. I really messed up. I never thought that I would be the one to hurt someone like Trip hurt me." Kurt knew that he was different than Trip, though, because he actually felt bad about what he'd done. Kurt didn't blame Blaine for moving on. He thought that maybe he and Blaine were too toxic together. They didn't need to hurt each other anymore. Kurt brushed his hand over a stuffed bear, it was adorable.

Jeff touched his arm. "You're different than Trip, though, honey. You feel bad about what you did. You know that Trip doesn't. You will eventually stop feeling guilty. Blaine will eventually get over it. You just be happy with Adam." Jeff really felt bad for Kurt, it had to be hard to deal with when you hurt someone. Jeff hadn't ever broken up with someone, he'd been the one that had been broken up with. Until Nick had finally realized that he was gay and in love with him. It had taken him awhile to figure that out. Jeff had been the first one to come out. He had felt so much better when he had come out. He'd dated a couple of guys before Nick, but not seriously. He had sort of been waiting for Nick to come around.

Rachel was just getting ready to leave work for the Christmas break. She had just finished getting the song selections ready for the first lesson the next semester. Rachel didn't know how she was going to make it through this Christmas. It wasn't her first without Finn, but Christmas had always been his favorite time of year. So it was going to be hard for her to deal with. Plus, there was the fact that she couldn't stop having sex with Quinn. Rachel wasn't exactly sure why. She wondered if she was becoming a lesbian now. Rachel supposed that that wasn't a bad thing. She had been raised by two dads. Rachel moved to get out of the classroom, and then she saw the most gorgeous hazel eyes. Quinn was back. Rachel didn't know what to say or do. Quinn did that to her. Rachel stood there for a second, watching her, she wasn't sure what was going to happen. Rachel moved past her, she was going to go home. She couldn't do this right now. It was too much for her to handle. She just wished that she could go back in time and not sleep with Quinn. It had taken a lot out of her. Rachel didn't know that she could turn her down if she kept standing there. It was all that she could think about at the current point and time. She shook her head at Quinn.

That pained Quinn deep within. It really did. She hadn't expected Rachel to turn her down from anything. All she wanted right now was to talk to her. Quinn hurried after her, hating that she even had to do this. She had never been that whiny girl who chased whomever she was dating. Or rather, in this case, fucking. Quinn didn't know what to do, she had been thinking about Rachel a lot. It was insane. She had to get this off her chest. "Wait, Rachel!" She called out, hurrying after her. Quinn tucked some of her blonde locks out of her way as she approached Rachel's car. She put her hand on Rachel's car door, so Rachel couldn't open it. "Please don't go. We have to talk. I'm not here to try and sleep with you. Actually, I don't want to do anything more until we define this." Quinn said, wishing that she hadn't said that even if she meant it. Quinn didn't know what was going to happen now and she didn't like that. Her life was never this spontaneous. Everything was always planned out. She never just did things like this. That was one of the reasons that she hadn't been prepared for Beth when she'd come along. Quinn kept her hand on Rachel's car door. "If you don't want to be serious, that's fine. But you have to tell me. We have to decide if this is just sex." Quinn didn't know how she had even gotten up the courage to say all of this to Rachel. It meant really admitting that she might be a lesbian.

Rachel folded her arms tightly, looking back at Quinn. This had to be hard for Quinn to bring up. She didn't want to hurt her. But she was definitely sure that she didn't want it to be serious. Rachel wasn't ready for a commitment to anyone anyway. She wasn't ready to make such a big step when Finn was still on her mind all the time. She didn't want to put anyone through that if she could help it. Especially Quinn, she had been through enough already. Rachel brushed some of her hair out of her eyes. "Quinn, I am not going to discuss anything with you. And if you want to end the sex, fine." Rachel didn't really want to hurt Quinn, and she knew that if they continued this that she would. Rachel opened the back door to put her things on the back seat. Rachel couldn't imagine someone hurting like she did. Rachel wasn't going to be the cause of anyone's pain. She sighed as Quinn looked at her, her hazel eyes lit up with tears. Rachel had already hurt her too much. Rachel really hated herself for being that person. She totally empathized with Kurt now, she got why he felt so guilty for hurting Blaine. Rachel had to stop all of this before it got farther. Rachel hated the look on Quinn's face. It was so sad and forlorn.

She had to be kidding, right? Quinn didn't want to argue with her. But she couldn't really let her get away with stopping the sex, could she? Quinn really couldn't let her do that. She wanted to fuck Rachel's brains out as often as she could. If Rachel didn't want to be serious, then they didn't have to be. Quinn wasn't sure that she was ready to call herself a lesbian anyway. Quinn didn't know that she would ever be ready for that. She also felt like a hypocrite because she'd gotten into a same sex relationship after she'd given Blaine such a hard time. "You can't be serious, Rachel. We don't have to have it be serious. But don't stop us having sex. Because I know you don't." Despite the fact that they were outside, she slid her hand along Rachel's arm. She watched Rachel's face, she was trying to show that she wasn't into it. But she was. Quinn moved her hand down and slid it along Rachel's hip, moving along her pelvis. Rachel's breath was shallow. Quinn was wondering how far Rachel would let her go. Quinn slowly moved to step closer, and pressed her hip against Rachel's, rubbing their pussies together through their skirts. Rachel's eyes closed, and Quinn let a sly grin play at the corners of her mouth. That was where it ended, though, Rachel stepped back from Quinn, letting her know that that was the end of it. Quinn stepped back and watched her leave. Quinn just hoped that it wouldn't really be the end of their fucking. Quinn lived and breathed Rachel Hudson.

Christmas Eve dawned bright and early. No snow, but there wasn't really any in Raleigh. Blaine was spending it with his brother and family and of course, Sam. They were getting really close already. Sam was also bringing his younger siblings. Blaine was a nervous wreck about meeting them. Kids could make or break your relationship. All that Blaine wanted was for them to get along like Sam did with Beth. They could do that, right?

TBC

_**Author's note: Sorry about the Blam and Kadam endgame switch. Okay, no, I'm not. Klaine is totes not right for each other. From here on out, there will be no more Klaine things that are romantic. XD. Review if you like!** _


	9. Shot Glass In My Fist

Chapter Nine: Shot Glass In My Fist

Blaine and Sam left the Vegas chapel, they had just gotten married. It was impulsive, but they didn’t regret it. They were now Blaine and Sam Evans. They had discussed hyphenating, but Blaine had wanted to take Sam’s name. They kissed as thy got to Sam’s truck. The kids were taken care of back home. They had told no one what they were doing, and Blaine knew that there might be some fallout from that. He didn’t care though, he was just too glad to be Sam’s husband. They weren’t drunk. This had been a completely sober decision. They kissed deeply, sucking on each other’s tongues. Blaine kissed him like he’d never kiss him again. It was how he always kissed Sam. They broke apart, and Blaine ran his hand through his husband’s long blonde hair. It was silky and he loved it. Blaine looked into those green eyes that he loved. “I love you, Sammy. Really and truly, forever.” Blaine was overwhelmed with his feelings for Sam. People were going to think they were insane, it had only been a couple of months. Blaine knew it was Sam though. Sam was exactly who he was supposed to be with. Blaine had never felt this way about Kurt. He had thought that he had, but he hadn’t. Not really. This was the real thing. Blaine kissed him again, and then they got into the truck to go back to the hotel. 

They stumbled into the hotel room, a mess of limbs. They were kissing deeply. They hadn’t had sex yet. Blaine had been wanting to wait until they were serious. Their wedding night was the perfect first time. Sam worked Blaine’s shirt off over his head, and ran his hands along the soft skin of Blaine’s abs. Playing with the hair in his happy trail. They both let out shivers of pleasure. They stopped long enough to get Sam’s shirt off, and then pressed together, naked torsos pressing close, flesh against flesh. Blaine gasped as his abs touched Sam’s. Sam was shaved on his chest, and Blaine didn’t mind that a bit. Then they were naked, and cocks were brushed against cocks. They were both breathless. Sam parted Blaine’s legs, spreading some lube on his fingers, and then slipped two inside of him, Blaine crying out at the pleasure. He hadn’t had someone be inside him like this wwhen he actually wanted it before. He kissed his husband, (okay, that felt really strange but amazing) his entrance clenching around Sam’s fingers. He was ready for Sam’s cock. He didn’t want to rush Sam though. He was fine with Sam setting the pace. He let out a long groan. 

When Sam felt Blaine was loosened up, he parted Blaine’s ass cheeks even more and slid his long, hard cock into Blaine’s entrance. They both gasped as they felt Sam’s sex slide into home. He brushed up against Blaine’s prostate, and a long loud moan left Blaine, this was amazing sex. Best sex of his life. “I love you, Sammy.” Blaine gasped out breathlessly. Sam’s reply was to kiss Blaine deeply, his tongue sliding easily into Blaine’s mouth. They both moved together, Blaine’s legs wrapped around Sam’s waist, causing his long cock bouncing against Sam’s abs. Blaine was coming then, spurting all over their abs. Sam kept thrusting, he was still working on it. He came a few minutes later, his lips on Blaine’s. They kissed as Sam’s orgasm rocked his body, and Blaine’s hands held onto Sam’s hips. Held on through Sam’s orgasm. Then Sam moved to lay on the bed next to Blaine, wrapping his arm and a leg around his husband. Blaine absolutely loved the sound of that. He was going to get a kick out of that, saying that. Maybe forever. His hand ran through Sam’s long blonde hair. “Fuck, Sam, that was totally amazing, worth the wait.” He gasped. “I’ve never had sex like that before. Ever in my life. This was….. Mind blowing.” Blaine thought none of those words were good enough. 

Sam felt the same way. “I…. I feel like we’re going to have sex like that our whole lives.” It was true, they connected so deeply, Sam had never felt like this about anyone before. It was crazy, they were still getting to know each other. But Sam loved Blaine with all of his heart and soul. “I love you so much, too, Blaine. You are the best thing to ever happen to me.” Sam meant that, with every fiber of his being. His eyes started to slip closed. Sam had never felt more safe or loved in his life. This was it. It was the real thing. 

Meanwhile, Kurt was sitting in his living room after working for three days straight when he had caught a segment about Blaine and Sam getting married in Vegas on E! It’s not like he was still in love with Blaine, but it hurt. He barely knew this man. Just a couple of months and they had gotten hitched? Kurt knew that he couldn’t obsess over this, Adam already thought that Kurt didn’t care enough about him. Kutr did. He liked Adam a lot. It was just hard to know all he had given up. He’d been Blaine’s first everything. It was hard to know that Blaine had moved on permanently. Kurt sniffled to himself. 

That was when there was a ring of the doorbell. It was midnight, who was here? When he opened it, he found Puck. “What the hell do you want? Your brother just got married, leave me alone.” That was when Kurt realized that Puck hadn’t known. “Oh shit, I thought you knew…..”

“Does this look like the face of someone who knew?!” Puck demanded to know. His face was devoid of color. How could he have done this? And how did Kurt know? “Why do you know and I don’t? He’s my fucking brother.” Puck could hardly keep himself from going mental and beating up Kurt. 

“Oh, it was on the news because Sam used to be a country singer. He was a one hit wonder, really, but maybe he still has some juice if they called his getting married news.” Kurt said, shrugging. He really wished that he hadn’t told Puck. Now he was forever going to be the one who screwed up their finding out in the right way. Kurt didn’t need another reason for them to despise him. “I really thought that you knew, Noah, I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t you ever call me Noah! That is for family, and you aren’t family.” Puck snapped, looking at him angrily. “I come here to warn you away from Blaine, and you do this.” He threw up his hands in exasperation. How the fuck could he do this with a clear conscience? 

“You know I have been staying away from your precious baby brother, and I didn’t do this. It was an accident. I am tired of everyone blaming me for my relationship with Blaine. To this entire town, he’s the one to feel sorry for, and I’m sick of it! Blaine is far from perfect. He also messed up this relationship.” Those were the wrong words to say. Puck launched himself at Kurt, and they rolled on the floor, fighting. Kurt knew how to defend himself. While they were fighting, Adam came in, and he went to pull him and Puck apart. 

Adam looked at his boyfriend. “Are you okay?” When Kurt nodded, he gave him a kiss and then turned to Puck. “What are you doing here, anyway, Puckerman? You have no reason to be here. Especially since Kurt and Blaine have nothing to do with each other anymore. You need to back off and leave Kurt alone. If you continue to harass him I will call the cops. You have a child, you don’t want that.” Adam hated to be that guy, who threatened things like that, but he wasn’t going to let him beat up Kurt like that. Adam was tired of Kurt being ostracized. 

Puck gave them both a glare, but he left. He was going to have to go and deliver the news to his fiancee. And he was going to give Blaine hell for going off and getting hitched without telling them anything about it. That hurt. Puck and Blaine were very close, and he would have wanted to be there for that. It just wasn’t fair. And he and Sam had barely known each other for more than a couple of months. Puck didn’t know how you could do something like that. He and Olivia had been together for years and they weren’t married yet. 

Two days later, Sam and Blaine had settled into Blaine’s place, which was still being worked on, but most of it was finished. As Blaine was getting breakfast ready, Puck stormed in with his key. “What the hell, Squirt? You got married and didn’t tell your family?” He looked as angry as he’d ever been. 

“Puck, please, don’t do this. It was a spur of the moment thing. We just….. We got carried away. If it makes you feel any better, we’re planning on having an actual ceremony for all of our friends and family. Please, let’s just let that be enough? I hate when you and I are fighting.” He really did hate it. 

Puck knew that was true. “It was on the news, Blaine! Your douche of an ex told me about it!” Puck couldn’t believe that Blaine had done this. He had wanted to be there and be Blaine’s best man. Now that wasn’t possible. Not for the first time, anyway. “I’m your brother, Squirt. And Olivia’s your sister. We’re your family. Liv and I could have eloped, and we never have, because we want you to be there. It just hurts that you didn’t want us to b there. That’s what it feels like Blaine.”

“Noah, come on, you know that’s not true. I would never not want you to be there.” Blaine said, giving his brother a pleading look. He didn’t want to fight with his brother. “We’re going to have another ceremony. Just, let that be enough. You can be the best man then. We want to accommodate everyone.” Blaine said, giving his brother the best pleading look he could manage. Blaine didn’t want to fight. It was the last thing that he wanted. “You know I would want you to be there. It just happened. I love him. Noah. More than I ever loved Kurt. Sam is my everything. We’re meant to be, I know it.” 

“Little brother, Sam isn’t my objection. You know that Liv and I like Sam. He treats you well. He loves you. I just wish you’d just taken a couple of minutes to call us so we could be there, that’s all.” Puck sighed and looked at Blaine. Then he hugged him. “I’m sorry, okay? I don’t want to fight with you either.” Puck hated fighting with Blaine. Especially with all that Blaine had gone through. He stepped back. “You deserve to be happy, Blaine. If Sam makes you happy then I’m happy for you.” He sighed. “While you were gone, Quinn came out. But she’s still not dating Rachel Hudson publicly.” 

That’s when Sam joined them. “Morning, Puck.” He said, honestly not surprised to see him. Sam had known there would be blowback from the elopement. “Morning, bae.” He said to his husband, and kissed him softly good morning. “What did you say about Quinn coming out?” He asked curiously. Sam had thought that Quinn was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. If he hadn’t met Blaine, he’d have gone for her. Although clearly it wouldn’t have gotten him anywhere. Sam moved to get coffee as Puck repeated what he’d said. “I have seen her looking at Rachel, like a cat in heat.” 

Meanwhile, Quinn was out with Santana, they were grabbing coffee to talk. Quinn was still having a hard time dealing with Rachel’s refusal to define their relationship. Quinn loved Rachel. She was stirring her coffee. “What am I going to do? Rachel keeps putting me off. What am I going to do if she won’t? I love her, Santana.” She said, sighing. Quinn didn’t want to live without Rachel. She couldn’t. Quinn had a feeling she and Rachel were meant to be. Quinn just didn’t know how to get Rachel to see that. 

Santana wasn’t good at the feelings thing, especially when it was other people’s feelings. Santana sipped her iced coffee. “Quinn, I don’t know what to tell you. If she won’t define it, you can’t make her. I went through something similar with Britt;. Now we’re engaged. Just give her some time. You can’t make her be ready. And you were right to make her define it before you sleep with her again. It will make her miss you and it could help her come to terms with how she feels. It’s hard but you have to sstick with it.” 

It was hard. Quinn was already missing sex with Rachel far too much. She sighed and brushed her hand through her long blonde hair. She’d been thinking of a hair cut. It was hopefully going to help keep her mind off Rachel. Not that anything could for very long. Quinn thought about her 24/7. She decided then and there to go and get her haircut, and to stop thinking about Rachel so much. It would be hard, bit she could do it. Quinn and Santana got up and Quinn led their walk to the salon across the street. Quinn didn’t know what she was going to do if Rachel didn’t love her back. Quinn had never felt this way about anyone else before. Just Rachel. She had to be with her. She put her name in and went to sit. Quinn really wanted a new start. This would help towards that. Quinn was starting to wonder if she and Rachel were going to work out after all. She hated to admit that, but maybe Rachel had too many issues from losing her husband. Quinn didn’t know that she blamed her, Quinn had some issues from losing Blaine. Although they’d always be in each other’s lives. Because of Beth. Quinn knew that that was oaky with her now. 

Kurt was at the airport, picking up Burt and Carole. They were coming for a couple of weeks, Burt had retired, and Carole had finally cashed in her vacation days. Kurt was glad that they had come, things were going better for him, and he wanted them to meet Adam. Kurt hadn’t gotten to see them for Christmas, so they would be exchanging presents. Kurt still had his fake Christmas tree up although it was well into February. Kurt grinned when he saw his parents. “Carole, Dad!” He said happily as they walked towards him. “I’m so glad to see you!” He said, they were both wheeling their bags with them. He eagerly hugged them both tightly. Then he took his father’s bags and started to lead them out. “I have dinner planned, and you get to meet Adam. He is so excited to meet you.” Kurt said, talking a mile a minute. He was so excited to have his parents here. “And tomorrow Rachel and Haili are going to come over.” Kurt knew that would make them happy, they loved to dote on their granddaughter. Kurt loved to see Burt light up around Haili. Kurt couldn’t wait to have kids. 

Burt was glad to be here. It was warmer than it was in Ohio. “I can’t wait to meet this Adam kid. I want to know if he’s good enough for you.” Burt said, and met his son’s blue eyes with his green ones. Burt adjusted his ball cap. This Adam kid was older than Kurt, and while Kurt was an adult now, that doesn’t mean that Burt was going to stop worrying about him. Blaine was the better choice, at least, as far as Burt was concerned, but he knew that that ship had sailed. Not that he blamed Blaine. Kurt may be his son but that didn’t mean that he was blind to Kurt’s faults. 

“Dad, Adam is good enough for me. You will totally like him.” Kurt replied, as he put the bags in the back of his Range Rover. Kurt had always loved Range Rovers. He’d had this one since junior year. Kurt was going to make lasagna for them, he knew it was his dad’s favorite. He was using ground turkey instead of ground beef. You couldn’t be too careful. Plus, his dad didn’t need to have another attack of angina. Or a heart attack or anything. He had also had cancer. Kurt was tired of almost losing his father. Kurt went to get in the car. “I promise, Dad, Adam is totally perfect for me.” It was true, Kurt really liked Adam. 

“I am sure that you’re right.” Burt said, with just a touch of disbelief. He was sure that there was something wrong with the kid. Burt wasn’t going to say that out loud. He knew that Kurt wasn’t going to like that opinion. Besides, he had promised to try and give him the benefit of the doubt. Not that he was really glad at that kind of thing. “So, how are you doing? What with Blaine being married to some guy he’s known for less than six months.” He asked. That was something he knew Kurt wouldn’t want to talk about, but he still wanted to know. 

“Oh my God, Dad. Blaine is married now. I know that you want us to work out, but we’re not. He’s with Sam now, and I’m with Adam. Believe me, Blaine and I are done. Okay? I’m sorry that you don’t get your wish. You’re just going to have to get used to the fact that I’m with Adam.” The way his father was so stubborn was really hilarious to Kurt. He was just going to have to hope that Burt would just relax. That wasn’t super likely. It was where Kurt got his own stubborn streak. That was one way in which they were the same. There weren’t many ways that they were the same. 

Two days later they were doing their Christmas. Haili was off playing with the toys Burt and Carole had given her. Rachel, Kurt, Burt, and Carole were waiting for Adam before they got going. Kurt was reaching for a Christmas cookie when his boyfriend arrived, letting himself in with his key. “Hey, love.” Kurt said happily, standing to go and kiss him softly on the lips. “So glad that you could make it.” Adam was carrying gifts. He and Adam had exchanged a couple of gifts on Christmas, but they’d saved everything else till now. “I am so glad to see you.”

He introduced Adam to his parents, and they began to open. Kurt was pleased with his gifts, especially the sweater Adam had hand knitted for him. Kurt loved gifts like that. They came from the heart. “Anyone want some dinner? I’ve got turkey and mashed potatoes, yams, the works.” As he led them to the dining room, Rachel stopped him, pulling him back. Kurt wondered if she was about to tell him about Quinn. The entire room could tell something was going on. They just were good at hiding that they knew. Kurt hoped Rachel let herself feel something. Finn would want her to be happy. 

Rachel took a deep breath. She had to talk to someone about Quinn. Rachel was starting to fall in love with her and it was scaring the fuck out of her. “Kurt, I’m….. I’m in love with someone. I….. I’m sure that you know about Quinn and I. I think, or at least, suspect, that everyone knows. Quinn isn’t exactly subtle in her feelings.” Rachel brushed her hand through her long brown hair. “And I’m not sure I’m ready to move on……. And I have my daughter to consider. What do I do? Quinn keeps pressuring me to define things. I can’t Kurt. But in the meantime, she’s cut me off from sex. And I need it. Bad.” Rachel brushed her hand through her long hair again. “I just don’t know what to do. Please, give me some advice. Anything has got to be better than anything that I told myself.” Rachel said, some of her wavy hair falling over her shoulder. Rachel had changed tremendously since high school, and Kurt loved that. Rachel looked up at him. “I have to have sex with her. I just can’t commit.” 

“Quinn’s been through a lot, Rachel. She’s not a perfect person, but she doesn’t deserve to be jerked around. You have to be honest with her. If you aren’t ready, just tell her. I may suck at my own relationships, but I can tell she’s in love with you. If you don’t tell her or don’t feel the same, now is the time to tell her. You have to break it to her gently.” Kurt was glad that Rachel had let him in. “And I don’t think that Finn would want you to feel guilty. He loved you. He wouldn’t want you to be miserable the rest of your life.” 

All of that made sense to her, even if she didn’t want to admit it. Rachel sighed. “I don’t know that I am ready to move on though. I agree that Finn would want me to move on. That’s not why I haven’t moved on yet. I just am not sure I’m ready is all. I’m…. I’m starting to fall in love with her though. She’s…. She’s amazing and the sex is the best I’ve ever had. It feels disloyal to Finn a little, but I can’t help it. She rocks my world.” Rachel would used to have blushed after saying that, but not now. Now she was more comfortable talking about things like that. She seemed to have made her choice, she was going to commit. 

“Sounds like you know what to do.” Kurt pulled out his phone. “Call her, Rachel. Tell her what you feel. Invite her to dinner right now if she’s free.” Kurt touched her arm and then went into the kitchen. 

Sighing, Rachel called up Quinn’s name and hit the send button, almost hoping that she wouldn’t answer. When she did, Rachel took a nervous breath. “Quinn, it’s Rachel. I have something to tell you. I’m…. falling in love with you. You wanted me to define things, and I am. If you want this to be a relationship, then okay.” 

When she heard those words, Quinn’s heart almost pounded out of her chest. “I can’t believe you’re actually saying this. I’ve been waiting for awhile now. I love you, too, Rachel, and I do want this to be a relationship.” Quinn wanted to see her right then. They had to have sex to celebrate. “Let’s get together right now. Are you busy?” She asked, hoping that the answer was no. Quinn could hardly breathe she was so excited. This was what she’d been wanting and it was finally here. Quinn’s breath was shallow with want. 

“Actually, I’m at Kurt’s. We’re doing Christmas with his parents. He told me to ask you to come over and eat dinner with us. I’d really like it if you did, Q.” Rachel didn’t know why she’d been resisting. It was exactly what she’d wanted since the first time they’d had sex. Rachel had never had sex like that, bless Finn’s heart. Rachel brushed her hand through her long brunette locks. “I also have a gift for you that I was too shy to give you for Christmas.” She added. It was an opal ring that she’d gotten at the mall. 

Quinn licked her lips. Could she hold out till they were alone for sex? Quinn thought that maybe she could if she was drunk. Although that might be a bad idea what with meeting Rachel’s former parents in law. Quinn said, “I can be there. It’ll take me about 20 minutes, but I can be there.” They chatted a bit more, and then hung up. Quinn ran to take a quick shower, she wanted to be as ready and fresh for Rachel as she could be. Quinn had to admit, she was so nervous to be meeting Burt and Carole. She knew how much Rachel still valued them. She spoke about Burt reverently. It was a lot scary. 

When they got back to Quinn’s, (Haili was staying with Kurt) they were sex starved. They barely made it in the door before their clothes were off. Quinn pressed Rachel against the couch, kissing her deeply. They were both groaning. Quinn parted Rachel’s legs, pressing her hand to Rachel’s moist sex. She rubbed her fingers against the slick folds, and Rachel let out a moan against Quinn’s lips. Sliding a finger inside her, Quinn pressed against her, their breasts sliding together. Quinn’s nipples were hardening, and her mound was also getting damp. Rachel’s hips rocked on Quinn’s finger. She slipped another finger inside, rubbing her thumb over Rachel’s clit. That earned her a love bite on her neck. As she finger fucked her, Quinn’s lips lowered on one of Rachel’s breasts, sucking on her nipple. Her tongue swirled over the areola, and Rachel’s hand fisted in Quinn’s hair. Her fingers slipped through Rachel’s wetness, and they both let out groans. Rachel grabbed Quinn’s ass, tugging her pussy against her own, Rachel’s hips moved, and they rubbed their wet sexes together, both groaning as they touched. Rachel loved scissoring. 

When they were finished, they lay together on the couch. Things were finally going their way. Nothing else could go wrong, right? 

 

_**Author’s note: Sorry it’s been so long! I hope ya’ll liked. I think we’re nearing the end, just fyi. Review if you like. I really love reviews, they’re like crack. XD.** _


	10. My Heart Is Open

Chapter Ten: My Heart Is Open

Blaine and Sam’s kitchen table was covered with wedding stuff. Blaine and Olivia were looking through it all, trying to find some things they liked for the wedding. Blaine wasn’t sure that he liked what they’d seen so far. Sam had taken the kids to a movie. Beth was with Quinn. Blaine opened another bridal magazine and started to flip through it. Blaine was so glad to be getting married to Sam again. Olivia had brought Daisy with her, who was getting big. He tossed Daisy a bone, who immediately grabbed it and started chewing. “You see anything that Sammy and I might like?” Blaine asked, stopping on a page that offered reception ideas. Blaine was glad that they were taking the time to do a real ceremony. He had always wanted a big wedding. It would be the first wedding Raleigh had seen in awhile. Blaine was hoping they wiuld have a great theme. Blaine just couldn’t decide on anything. “Sam liked green, and I like pink. I’m just not sure that they go together.” Blaine said. “I want to find something that goes together.” He wondered if Olivia had an idea.

“If we got the right pink and the right green they do.” Olivia said, she was looking at the bridesmaids dresses. Olivia saw some pink ones. “Do you like these?” She and Stacie would be the ones wearing them. Aimee was going to be the flower girl, Beth was too young yet. Olivia liked them, although it most likely wasn’t in Stacie’s size. She was only eight. “I’m sure that we can get something that goes with it for Stace. What do you think?” She asked, showing him the dress. 

Blaine peered at it. It had an empire waist, it was sleeveless, and it was a gorgeous pale pink. Blaine said, “I love it, it’s gorgeous. You’ll look just amazing.” Blaine said. “Bookmark the page so I can show Sammy.” Blaine told her. He wanted Sam to like it too. They had to have a wedding that they both agreed on. Blaine was determined not to do anything that Sam didn’t like. He didn’t want to be a groomzilla. He said, “I want to make sure that he likes it too.” Blaine added, going back to his magazine.

“Makes sense.” Olivia agreed. She put a neon sticky on the page to mark it. She was getting ideas for her own wedding. “You know, maybe we should have a double wedding. Noah and I have been engaged long enough. What do you think?” She asked, as her gaze fell on a gorgeous wedding dress. She would love to get married in a dress like that. She hoped that Puck would be okay with that. Olivia brushed some of her black hair behind her ear. “It would be nice to finally be married.” She said. “Oh, I also have news. I’m pregnant.” 

Blaine looked at her. “If Puck’s into that, that would be amazing.” Blaine would love to share his vow renewal with Olivia and Puck. Blaine peered at the dress she was looking at. “That dress is gorgeous. You would look great in that.” He said, he knew his brother would love it too. Speaking of his brother, he came in with Aimee. Aimee ran straight for Blaine. Blaine reached down and lifted her on his lap. “We’re looking at wedding stuff, Aimes.” He said, as she looked around the table full of magazines. “What color do you like?” He asked, and she told him blue. 

Olivia looked at her fiance. “What do you think of a double wedding, Noah?” She asked, as he leaned down to kiss her. Olivia showed him the dress. “What do you think? I bet I could find something like it.” She knew that it would have to be off the rack for her. Olivia didn’t mind though. The important thing was that she’d be married to Puck. She just wanted to be his wife. She also wanted to get married before she started showing. “We should finally get married.” 

He glanced at the dress. It was beautiful. “If you want a double wedding, babe, then let’s do it.” He said. He knew that they should finally get married. Puck went to the fridge and got out a beer. They were going to hang around and have dinner. When Sam and the kids got back they’d join them. He cracked open his beer. “You’ll make a gorgeous bride, Liv.” He said. He had already picked out some rings at the jewelry store. He was super excited to show them to Olivia. He knew she’d love them. 

Blaine grinned. “I’m so glad! A double wedding is such a great idea. I bet Sam will be behind it too.” He said, as he grabbed a sticky to mark a tux that he liked. Blaine knew that this was going to be a great wedding. Blaine wondered if Kurt would be annoyed by everyone in town being invited but him and Adam. Blaine wasn’t exactly holding a grudge now that he was married, but he was still angry every so often. He and Kurt wouldn’t ever be friends, and to Blaine it was sad, they could have been good friends. “Now we can all decide on a theme together. I love that idea because I’m all out of ideas myself. I have no idea what the theme should be. What do you think, Noah?” He asked, as he got up to get his own beer. Blaine set Aimee carefully on the floor as he did. She ran straight for Daisy and pet the dog, whose tail started wagging. Blaine opened his beer. He took a long sip. “What do you guys want for dinner? It might be easier to ask Sam to pick up some pizza. I’m not sure what we have n the house, actually.” The kids all loved pizza, too. 

“We’ve had pizza a lot lately. Fried chicken would be good.” Olivia said, as Puck sat down with her, looking over a magazine. She loved that about him, he didn’t mind looking at girl magazines. She knew that he was secure enough in his manhood. Olivia gave him a kiss. “I told Blaine about the baby.” She said, she was hoping for a boy. She knew that Puck really wanted a boy. Olivia thought it would be fitting, they’d have one of each. She thought two kids was plenty. 

Puck grinned. “Yeah, I’m good at getting you pregnant.” He said, very pleased with himself. “We’re going to have two kids. It’s going to be great. Blaine, we’ve got to turn your room into the nursery though.” He said. Puck wished that they didn’t have to, but it was time. Blaine was married now, and his house was almost finished. Puck was happy for his baby brother. He deserved to be happy. Plus, Puck liked Sam loads more than he had ever liked Kurt. Sam was a really good guy. And he loved Blaine.

“It’s okay. I understand.” Blaine said, as he pulled up Sam’s text conversation in his phone to text him. He asked him to pick up fried chicken for them all, they had a Popeye’s. Blaine’s favorite. He didn’t really like any other kind of fried chicken. None of it was as good as Popeye’s. “I’m married now anyway. I won’t really need a room at your place anymore.” He said. “Although I gotta say, this isn’t getting a thing done on the wedding.” He said. He and Sam were already married, this was Olivia and Puck’s big day. He wanted them to be pleased with the wedding. He was glad that they’d finally be married. Although he knew that if common law was still a thing they’d be married by that. Blaine couldn’t wait till he’d been with Sam that long. He knew that they would be. Sam was the one and he knew it. Blaine didn’t regret being with Kurt. It had gotten him ready for Sam. Blaine supposed that a small part of him did regret it, but that was only because of how Kurt had hurt him. Blaine was surprised that he’d been so ready to be with Sam after that. He ran his hand through his curls. 

Puck sipped his beer. “Whatever you guys want is fine with me. I’m just glad that I’ll be married to Livvy. Officially. Not that I really need a piece of paper to call her my wife.” He said. Puck knew that Olivia wanted it though, and he was glad to give it to her. She was the best thing about him. Except Aimee. Puck was glad that he had them both in his life. He didn’t know what he would be without them. Puck brushed his hand along Olivia’s bare arm. He loved touching her. 

His fiancee looked at him. “That’s so sweet, Noah, but not helpful.” She told him. Olivia got up and got out a Diet Coke. She cracked it open and took a sip. “So it would be helpful if you tossed in your two cents.” She added. “I’m so glad that I’ll finally be married to you.” Olivia said. It was going to be amazing. It’s not like it would change anything, it wouldn’t. Olivia just wanted to have that moment in that gorgeous dress. And to see Puck there at the altar waiting for her. She wanted to know what that felt like.

Blaine said, “I’d love to see Puck in a purple tux. Maybe purple could be one of our colors. That would be gorgeous, especially if it was lilac.” He said, he loved lilac almost as much as pink. Blaine settled back into his chair, turning the page of his magazine. “Oh my God, Liv, look at this gown.” He said, pointing to a fabulous Vera Wang gown. “I know you’d never be able to afford it, but look at it.” He was a bit jealous that Olivia got to wear a gorgeous wedding dress. He loved tuxes, but he also loved wedding gowns. They were so lucky. 

An hour later, Sam, Stacie, and Stevie arrived, with Sam carrying bags with Popeye’s chicken. Sam went to give his husband a kiss. “Brought the chicken and sweet tea.” He said. He helped Blaine gather up the magazines so they could set up the food. Sam brushed his hand over his long blonde hair. He was curious as to if they’d made any decisions regarding the wedding. Sam looked at Blaine. “Did you decide on anything for the wedding?” He asked, as they all settled in to eat. Sam moved to fill Stacie and Stevie’s plates before his own. Sam didn’t want them to do it, they’d get too much. 

Blaine said, “We decided on blue and lilac for our wedding colors. And we’re having a double wedding with Puck and Olivia.” He said. “If that’s okay with you, that is.” He added. He hoped that Sam was okay with it, because he was really into the idea. And he knew that Olivia really was, too. Blaine filled his plate, going for a big chicken breast. He preferred white meat. Blaine poured himself a glass of sweet tea. He looked at Sam, who was now filling his own plate.

“Oh, that’s a great idea.” Sam said brightly. He loved the idea. Sam took a bite of his chicken. “And blue and lilac are great colors. I could wear a powder blue tux.” Sam said, grinning. “That would be gorgeous. Good choice.” He said. Sam was surprised that Blaine hadn’t chosen pink, but he was okay with blue and lilac. It was gorgeous colors. He looked at Blaine. “Well, we at least have our wedding colors.” He said, looking into his husband’s hazel eyes. They were so gorgeous. He was a very lucky man. 

The following day, Kurt was working on the finishing touches of a dinner he was cooking for Adam. He loved cooking, especially for Adam. He was trying to show his boyfriend that he cared about him. Kurt knew that Adam thought he was too hung up on his ex. Kurt was doing all he could to prove that he wasn’t. Kurt wanted Blaine to be happy, despite all that had gone down, and Kurt knew that Blaine would be better off without him. Kurt was listening to Spotify as he cooked, and one of Sam’s songs came on. He let out a groan. He may want Blaine to be happy, but this was a bit much. Kurt was up to his elbows in pasta though and couldn’t change the song. 

Alone again tonight  
Without someone to love  
Stars are shining bright, so one more wish goes up  
Oh I wish I may and I wish with all my might  
For the love I’m dreamin’ of   
And missin’ in my life

You’d think that I could find  
A true love of my own  
It happens all the time   
To people that I know   
Their wishes all come true  
So I’ve got to believe  
That there’s still someone out there who   
Is meant for only me

I guess I must be wishin’ on someone else’s star  
It seems like someone else keeps gettin’  
What I’m wishin’ for  
Why can’t I be as lucky as those other people are  
I guess I must be wishin’ on someone else’s star

When Kurt listened to it, he realized how beautiful it really was. He found himself tearing up a bit. Damn Kurt….. He murmured to himself. He had to admit, he didn’t know why Sam hadn’t made it as a country singer. He was incredibly talented. Especially if he wrote this song as well as sang it. As he was thinking this, he heard the front door open and shut. “In the kitchen, babe!” Kurt called out. He had given Adam a key. 

Adam was regretting his decision lately to stay with Kurt. It seemed to him that his boyfriend was a little too obsessed with Blaine and his husband. Adam thought it was very unhealthy. He suspected that Kurt might still be in love with Blaine, which honestly was sad. Blaine was married now. They had reached the point of no return. Adam was starting to really care about Kurt. He just wanted Kurt to care about him, too. Adam went to the kitchen, carrying a bottle of wine. He had known Kurt was cooking and had wanted to contribute. “Hello love.” He said, genuinely glad to see him. He leaned to kiss Kurt’s cheek. He peered into the pot of pasta. It was shrimp linguine. He liked it. Adam was glad that Kurt could cook these kinds of fancy foods. Adam hadn’t ever really had time to learn. He’d lived off ramen and waffles and things of that nature. He opened the wine, pouring them both glasses. Adam didn’t know how to bring up what he had to bring up. He didn’t want to fight. He really didn’t. But he felt that they had to discuss Adam’s feelings. He needed to get them off his chest. “So, Kurt, we need to talk.” 

Those were the scariest words in the entire English language. Kurt wiped his hands on his apron and turned to Adam. “Okay. What about in particular?” He asked, sure that it was about Blaine, and he started to talk first. “If this is about Blaine…. I don’t care that he’s married, okay? I know that, and I’m over him. I promise that I am. It bothered me a little that he got married, but only because it seemed so soon after we broke up.” Kurt knew it sounded like it was a lie. He did mean it, though. Or at least, he wanted to mean it. Kurt knew a part of him was still in love with Blaine. He wondered if he always would be. He didn’t want to be anymore. Kurt knew that Blaine had really moved on. For good. Kurt thought part of him just wanted Blaine because he was unavailable. Kurt had never really had good choices when it came to men. Kurt knew that Adam was the breaking of that pattern. If he could avoid screwing it up now. That might be impossible. 

It sounded good, but Adam didn’t believe him. Adam started to set the table. “I don’t believe you. You might think that you mean what you say, but I know that deep down you’re still in love with him. It’s been a year and a half, Kurt. Actually, almost two years. You have to move on. I believe that you care about me, but I don’t believe that you’re in love with me. You are amazing, Kurt. You really are. And I am crazy about you. I’ve never fancied someone as much as I fancy you. I just wish that you felt the same way about me.” Adam said, he really did wish that he believed Kurt. But he didn’t. Adam was sad about it, he was so into Kurt. He thought that they could really be happy together if Kurt would open up and let him in. Adam loved Kurt so much. He stopped with the setting of the table and turned to face Kurt. “We could be so amazing together, Kurt. You just have to let go of Blaine. You had your shot with him. You’re all out of chances.” Adam felt bad that he had to be the one to tell Kurt. He really believed that Kurt thought he was over Blaine. It wasn’t his fault. Things just took time. 

Kurt knew that Adam didn’t believe him. He moved to put their dinner on the table. He and Adam both sat down. Kurt started dishing out the pasta. “Adam, I know why you don’t believe me. It sounds like I’m lying, I know that. But I really do care about you. I admit, a part of me does still love Blaine, but I’m not in love with him anymore. I’m not. Blaine has moved on, and I’m happy for him. I wish that I hadn’t hurt him like I did, but I can’t go back. All I can do is apologize, and I did that. He’s not ready to forgive me. I wish that we could have been friends.” Kurt would always regret what he’d done. He knew that he had to stop beating himself up about it though. He’d done all he could do to make up for it. Kurt took a deep swig of his wine. It was really good. He loved it. He needed it, too. This whole conversation was giving him the need to drink. Kurt touched Adam’s hand on the table. “I care about you so much, Adam. I want to be with you.” 

Adam let Kurt touch his hand for a bit and then moved his hand. Adam took a bite of pasta. “Kurt, I’m not angry at you. I know that you’re not doing anything intentionally. You just don’t know consciously that you love him. It’s okay. I’m willing to wait for you to figure it out. You will get over him, Kurt. It just takes time. You still feel guilty deep down. It is very understandable.” Adam just hoped that Kurt would figure it out before it was too late. He wasn’t going to wait forever. “I really do want us to work out.” 

Those words hit him directly in the gut. Kurt wondered if Adam was right. Was he still in love with Blaine? He had cheated on him, that wasn’t love. Kurt poured himself some more wine. He was going to get loaded tonight. Kurt took a bite of his pasta and looked at Adam. “I don’t want to still be in love with him. I know that I don’t have a chance anymore. He’s moved on. I know that deep in my heart.” He said. Was he ever going to get over Blaine? His eyes brushed with tears. “I really don’t want to be in love with him.” 

“I know that you don’t, Kurt. You’ll figure it out and get over him. You just need some time. You and I will be together if we’re meant to be. I know that you don’t believe in fate. I do, enough for both of us.” Adam stood. “I should go. Call me when you’re over Blaine. Until then we shouldn’t talk.” Adam said, and leaned to kiss Kurt’s cheek. Then he grabbed his keys, and his coat, and went out to his car. Adam got into his car, looking up at Kurt’s place. He didn’t know what was going to happen. But he was scared that he wasn’t going to end up with Kurt. It all depended on Kurt. Adam wasn’t sure that he believed that Kurt could get over Blaine. It had been almost two years, and he still wasn’t over him. Adam started up the car, still looking at Kurt’s house. It was going to be hard to go without Kurt. Adam just hoped that Kurt would be able to get over Blaine. Even if Adam wasn’t going to be able to be with him. He loved Kurt that much. 

Two days later, Sam and Puck were out back at Puck’s, they were grilling out. Blaine and Olivia were inside with the kids, working on potato salad. Sam didn’t know what was going on with Kurt, but he’d seen him a lot the past couple of days. Sam was starting to get worried. He’d seen Adam, too, and Sam had made small talk . Adam had told him, very reluctantly, that he and Kurt had broken up. He’d assured Sam that it wasn’t forever, at least, not at the moment. Sam wasn’t reassured though. It meant Kurt was still in love with Blaine. He didn’t like that idea. Sam wasn’t the type to be insecure, and he wasn’t. But he was worried about what Kurt might do. He wouldn’t be surprised if Kurt was the type to go after a married man. Sam flipped the burgers. “Can I talk to you about something?” He asked Puck. When Puck gave him a nod, he said, “I found out that Kurt and Adam broke up. Adam was the one that broke up with Kurt. It was because Adam’s worried that Kurt isn’t over Blaine.” Sam did his best not to sound immature and worried about it. “I’m concerned that he’s going to make a play for B.” 

That surprised Puck. “Oh. Well I’m not sure that I don’t disagree with you. I wouldn’t be surprised if Kurt does try something. But you know that Blaine loves you. Kurt hurt him over and over. You don’t have to worry about Blaine straying. He was done with Kurt the moment he laid those hazel eyes on you.” Puck said, cracking open a beer. “Don’t worry. If Kurt tries anything, Blaine will turn him down.” Puck said, doing his best to sound reassuring. He knew that Sam had to be nervous. Puck didn’t blame him. Puck would be nervous if it was him in the situation. He would want to kick some ass. Unless it was a girl that he and Olivia had chosen to have a threesome. It hadn’t happened yet, but they’d discussed it. It was one of the reasons that he loved her. She was willing to add another woman to make their sex life interesting. He hadn’t brought it up again because Olivia was all that he needed. It might be cool one day though, it was still on the table. 

Even though Sam already knew that was all true, he still was glad that Puck had said it out loud. It was nice to hear. Sam flipped the burgers again. They were doing pretty good. Sam ran his hand through his long blonde hair. “I’m glad that you think so, I want to be prepared in case he tries something. If he does I don’t want him to think it’s okay to try and steal Blaine away. I gotta admit, it’s really hard not to go and punch him out right now. I don’t have an excuse, that’s what’s holding me back. I bet he’d call the cops if I did as it is.” He said with a touch of annoyance. He wasn’t sure why Kurt had to be that type of person. He would really love an excuse to beat the fuck out of Kurt. Sam wasn’t prone to violence, but sometimes it was your only option. He took off the burgers and added some hot dogs. “Blaine’s not the violent type though. It’s a lot frustrating.” He said. Sam added some brats also. They were Blaine’s favorite. Sam pulled his hair into a ponytail. “What do you think that I should do? I don’t want it to be too over the top, but I don’t want it to be too simple, either.” He said. He cast his glance at his brother in law.

“It’s hard to know what to do when you aren’t sure what he’s going to do. But I agree that you need a plan. Maybe Liv will have an idea. She loves that kind of stuff.” Puck said, as he saw his fiancee and Blaine coming out with the kids and the potato salad. Puck turned the dogs and brats. “She’ll be so glad to help you.” He said. Puck swung Aimee up into his arms when she came running up to him. He held her on his hip. “Hey, Aimee.” He said. When Olivia and Blaine came walking over, Puck told them the situation. “So, what do you think that Sam should do? We already know that you’re not going to give in, Blaine.” He said. He wanted Blaine to not worry at all. Puck looked at Olivia. “I told him that you love this kind of thing.” He told her, still bouncing Aimee. He was sure that she’d have to come up with something. Puck passed his daughter off to Sam as she reached for him. She had really taken to ‘Uncle Sammy’. He was glad. Beth really liked Sam, too. She was crawling in the grass. 

Olivia leaned to pick up Beth as she got near. Stacie and Stevie were playing catch over by a copse of trees. She smiled as Beth played with her long black hair. She was getting big. “I do, but I don’t think that Sam should stoop to that level. He’s got to show Kurt that he’s the better man. Kurt will hate that.” She said, sounding very sure of that. Olivia accepted the bottle that Blaine handed her. She offered it to Beth, who took it immediately. She was missing when Aimee was a baby. She was glad that they were having another. “And I don’t think that violence is the answer, either. But you definitely shouldn’t rule it out. You don’t want him to get complacent. You want him to be scared of you.” She wondered what she would do if it was her. Olivia was quite sure that she wouldn’t do it the way she was advising. Olivia knew that her way was the wrong way. But she wasn’t going to take any guff or anyone flirting with her man. She would fight a bitch if she had to. She’d always been that way. She protected her relationship at all costs. She would do what she had to, it was just how she was. 

Blaine looked at Olivia. “Do you really think that he’s going to try something?” He asked. Blaine didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to have to deal with it. He honestly didn’t care how Kurt felt, because he was fully in love with Sam, but he knew that even if he didn’t care, Kurt would still try. Blaine just wished that he wouldn’t try. It was long over with him and Kurt. Blaine had felt safer with Kurt taken. “I don’t want him to try anything. I don’t want to have to deal with that. We just want to be happy together.” Blaine ran his hand through his black curls. He watched as his husband turned the meat. Blaine was finally really happy. He was with who he was meant to be with. He desperately wished that Sam had been his first. Now Kurt would always be in his life. Blaine hated that more than he could say. He would always have to know it was Kurt that he had lost his V card to. That stuck with you. 

Sam touched his husband’s arm. “If he does, we’ll be ready, love.” He said, hoping he was really making Blaine feel a bit better. Sam knew that this kind of thing could be hard to deal with. Sam put some more burgers on the plate as Olivia let Beth back on the grass, who immediately started crawling towards Daisy. She loved that big dog. She pet him carefully. He was glad that she was petting so very carefully. Sam loved that baby as if she were his own. She’d taken to him as well. Sam took Blaine in his arms, hugging him close. He wanted to reassure him that it was all going to be okay. He loved Blaine like no one else. Blaine was the best thing to ever happen to him. He cradled Blaine closer, wishing that he could find some way to get Kurt to back off. Sam stroked Blaine’s back. He loved being able to touch him. He lifted Blaine’s shirt and stroked the soft skin on the small of his back. It was so good to feel the skin of Blaine’s back. “We’re going to be happy together no matter what, babe, and you know it.” He said. “You and I deserve to be happy.” He kissed Blaine deeply. 

When Blaine and Sam got home, they put the kids to bed, and then they headed for the shower together. Sam stepped under the hot spray, and tugged his husband with him. Blaine kissed him, pressing close. He wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck. He pressed close, their cocks brushing together. Sam pushed Blaine’s legs apart, and eased into his entrance. Blaine gasped and clutched at Sam, his nails gripping Sam’s shoulders. They both grunted as Sam’s hips set a steady pace. Hot water ran over them, Blaine’s wet curls falling over his forehead. He let out a groan, pressing kisses to Sam’s collarbone. He was loving this. He moved with Sam, and they were both breathing shallowly. Blaine’s hands moved down and gripped Sam’s hips, pushing him deeper inside. He gasped and gripped Sam’s ass. They breathed shallowly together, Blaine clenching tightly around Sam. They both came then, clutching at each other tightly. Blaine stepped under the spray, kissing Sam. 

They got washed up and then went to the bedroom. Blaine got into bed naked, and flipped on the tv. Sam got dressed in his pjs, and slid into bed next to him. Sam looked at Blaine. “I love you.” He said, and got out the comic book he was reading. He loved comic books. He glanced at his wedding ring. It sparkled in the light from the bedside table. Sam loved looking at it. He ran his finger over the white diamond in the middle. Sam tucked some of his blonde hair behind his ear. He focused on his comic book, ignoring the television.

Blaine snuggled against his husband. “I love you too.” He told his husband. Blaine had settled on a Property Brothers, and he did his best to focus on it. Blaine was hoping that they were going to be safe from anything that Kurt was going to do. Blaine didn’t know why he couldn’t stop thinking about it. It wasn’t something that he should still be focusing on. He was focusing on it when he should get his mind off it. Blaine laid his head on Sam’s chest and tried to focus on the house Drew and Jonathan were working on. Blaine loved this show. It was really magical. 

Kurt stood outside Blaine and Sam’s, not sure why he was here. He knew that Blaine was married. Kurt hadn’t been on the rez for awhile. He was getting glares from people driving by. Everyone here was on Blaine’s side. He walked up the walk. Blaine should be home from teaching. He had decided to sing Blaine a song, and he’d finally be able to move on. He rung the bell, and was glad when Blaine opened it. 

It’s inevitable everything that’s good   
Comes to an end  
It’s impossible to know if after this we can   
Still be friends, yeah  
I know you’re saying you don’t wanna hurt me  
Well maybe you should show a little mercy  
The way you look I know you didn’t come to apologize

 

Oh why you wearing that to walk out of my life  
Oh even though it’s over you should stay tonight  
If tomorrow you won’t be mine   
Won’t you give it to me one last time   
Oh baby let me love you goodbye

Unforgettable together held   
The whole world in our hands  
Unexplainable a love that only we could understand, yeah  
I know there’s nothing I can do to change it  
But is it something that can be negotiated  
My heart’s already breaking baby go on twist the knife

Kurt finished the song, and looked at Blaine. “I know that you’re married. But I had to take this shot. Or I’d regret it forever. Blaine, I still love you. I know that I hurt you. I wish that I could take it all back. I know that it’s probably too much to hope for, but I had to take this chance. You can’t really love Sam, you didn’t even know him for six months before you got married. He’s just a rebound.” Kurt didn’t think this was going to work, but he had to try. Kurt kept his eyes on Blaine’s hazel ones.

Blaine folded his arms. This was unbelievable. He folded his arms as tightly as he could. “You’ve got a lot of nerve, Kurt Hummel. I know that you don’t want me to be in love with Sam, but I am. Sam and I are forever. You and I were over months ago. You sang great, but it doesn’t mean a thing to me. I knew you were going to try something as soon as I heard that Adam dumped you. You need to move on, Kurt. You and I are over for good. I don’t love you. Sam is my entire life. Beth loves him. We’re going to have more kids. Sam and I are extremely happy together. Sam isn’t a rebound. He never was. You only want me because you felt guilty for hurting me, and I’m unavailable. You need to go. I’m staying with Sam. He loves me. He’s good to me. Better than you ever were. I don’t want to ever see you again in my life. You hurt me so much, Kurt. I never want to go through that ever again.” Blaine didn’t give him chance to reply. He slammed the door.

When the door slammed shut in his face, Kurt felt his heart break into a million pieces. Kurt honestly hadn’t expected anything different. He ignored the looks he was getting and got into his car. He’d tried. That was all that he had thought would happen. He could move on now that he had tried. He stared at the house, his eyes filling with tears. He didn’t know what he was going to do now. It seemed impossible at the moment. Kurt let out a shaky breath. He was going to go and talk to Rachel. 

Letting himself into Rachel’s, Kurt headed for the kitchen. Thankfully, he found Rachel and Haili there. He went straight to the fridge to get out a soda. “Rachel, I made a huge mistake.” He said. “I can’t believe how stupid I am.” He kissed Haili, who ran out of the room to watch tv with her snack. Kurt sighed as he sat down at the island. Rachel was making coffee. “I went to try and get Blaine back. I sang him a One Direction song.” He sighed. “I think I knew deep down that it wasn’t going to work. But I had to try. I’d regret it forever if I didn’t.” 

Rachel looked at him in shock. “It was one thing when he and Sam was just a dating relationship…. But they’re married. As someone who was married, I am highly offended. You can’t just hit on married people! I hope that you learned your lesson. That’s such a dick move.” Rachel really hoped that Kurt would listen to her. She couldn’t believe that Kurt had had the gall to do that. He had tried to get Blaine while he was married. Rachel closed the lid of the coffee maker. “You have to move on, Kurt. I am so ashamed of you. I can’t believe your gall.” She said, turning to face him. “You shouldn’t have done that. It was incredibly stupid.” She kept her tone stern. Rachel had thought he and Adam were happy. “I didn’t think that Adam was right about you. I honestly thought that he was just running scared. But he was right. You’re still in love with Blaine. Adam cares about you. You might have just ruined a really good thing.” She scolded.

The worst part was that she was right. It had been a complete dick move. Kurt sighed. “You can’t be any more disappointed in me than I am in myself.” He told her. He sighed again. “I can’t believe myself.” He opened the soda and took a long sip. “I deserve every bit of that lecture.” He settled back into his chair. “Of course it didn’t work. I shouldn’t have expected it to. You’re absolutely right. I did a completely horrible and despicable thing.” Kurt didn’t back down from her gaze. He knew that he was a horrible person. “I’ve got to face it. When Finn died I went over the edge and I never really got back to normal. He would be so incredibly disappointed in me.” Kurt knew that he wouldn’t do that again if he could help it. If he could turn back time, he would. He regretted what he’d done. Kurt took another swallow of his drink. “If I could take it back, I would. I’m glad that I came to you. I needed to hear that.” He said. Kurt looked out the window then, his chin wobbling as he thought about what he’d done. This was truly one of the worst things that he’d ever done.

Rachel understood how he felt about Finn. “I know what you mean about Finn. I got a tattoo of his name on my hip. I did a lot of stupid things myself. But you can’t keep using it as an excuse forever. You have to move on. Believe me, I know how hard it is. I don’t think I’ll ever really be over him. But I know that he wouldn’t want me to wallow forever. He’d want me to move on. So I’ve done my best to do so. You have to do the same. Finn wouldn’t want you to be unhappy. He also would be so disappointed in you.” He would, Rachel was sure of it. Finn would have been incredibly disappointed. She had to admit, Kurt deserved it. She supposed that she got why he’d done it on some level, but it was the wrong choice. She reached for a coffee mug. She poured herself some. As she put in some creamer, she said, “Maybe you need some therapy. I’m thinking of going myself. I think I could really benefit from it.” She mused as she took a sip of coffee. 

What she said made sense. Kurt looked at her. “You’re right. He’d be very upset with me. I need to stop using it as a reason to stay in the past.” Kurt agreed. “You might be right about therapy. I should look into it.” He mused. He reached for some cookies and bit into one. “I miss Finn so much. It’s not fair that we lost him, Rachel. Haili has to grow up without her father. It’s not fair. You have to go on without him.” Kurt didn’t know if he was a believer in heaven, but if there was one, Finn was up there. “I miss Blaine, too. And I need to move on. I really thought that I had. I don’t blame Adam for leaving me. I just hope that I can get him back one day. I really care about him.” Kurt did, he knew it just wasn’t as much as he cared about Blaine. Was he destined to be alone? He really didn’t want that to be true. Blaine deserved better than him, and Kurt knew it. He kept his gaze out the window. It wasn’t fair that Kurt was having to deal with all of this. He had really tried to make up for what he had done. Kurt wiped his eyes as he kept his gaze outside.

The news of Kurt’s faux pas traveled quickly. Everyone was talking about it. Blaine was tired of hearing people brag about how they all had thought that Kurt would try something. Blaine was walking into Luke’s with Olivia. His curls were held back with sunglasses. Beth was with Quinn and Rachel, and Sam was at home with the twins. Blaine grabbed them a booth. Olivia sat down across from him. Blaine was going to get a burger and fries. “I can’t believe that everyone’s still talking about what Kurt did. It’s been a week. It can’t still be that important.” Blaine said, shaking his head. “I am tired of people asking me about it. I’m sure Sammy is, too. I don’t like talking about Kurt if I can help it.” He said, he was going to get a blt and fries. Blaine rubbed his scruffy chin. He had moved on, and he didn’t get why Kurt didn’t get that. Blaine was tired of having to say so. Why couldn’t anyone get that?

“I’ve been doing my best to tell people off when I hear people talking about it. I know that you don’t want to deal with it. I don’t blame you. It’s just so much to deal with.” Olivia brushed her hand through her black hair. Caesar came over, and they ordered their food, and then Olivia looked at her brother in law. “What did Sam say? Was he upset? I can’t imagine what all of that must have felt like.” She couldn’t believe that Kurt had actually done something to get Blaine back. She hadn’t really thought that he would actually do something. Not really. But he had. It was going to be hot gossip for awhile. Olivia wasn’t sure how Blaine was going to handle that. She knew that he was tired of being talked about. Olivia didn’t blame him. This town could be incredibly cruel at times. She wondered if that was ever going to change. She knew it was naive to think that it would. Olivia knew better than that. She clasped her hands together. This town could be so small, it felt suffocating. She brushed away some of her black hair as she looked at Blaine. 

“He was pissed, and rightly so.” Blaine said, as he looked back at her. He didn’t know that he was going to be able to keep Sam from beating Kurt up. And he had to admit, Kurt would completely deserve it. Blaine was just hoping that they could keep going despite the entire town talking about them. He had had enough drama to last an entire lifetime.

 

_**Author’s note: So, I hope ya’ll liked. I hope to have some more Faberry next chapter, and of course Kurt and Adam need to get things worked out. Hopefully Kurt can get over Blaine because they’re done. I hope one of ya’ll feels like leaving a review!** _


	11. I Won't Let Go

Chapter Eleven: I Won’t Let Go

The day of the double wedding dawned very beautifully. Not a cloud in the sky. Blaine had insisted that Olivia spend the night with him and Sam the night before. Some traditions had to be upheld. Blaine got up a little early, and went down to start breakfast. He wasn’t going to fix anything too complicated. He just wanted to fix some eggs and toast. He was surprised when he found Olivia and her mother Lorelai in the kitchen. Blaine gave them both a smile. “Hey, Lorelai. It’s so good to see you. You must be so excited that Olivia’s finally getting married.” Blaine moved to the fridge to get some eggs out. Lorelai wasn’t really a chef. She was more of an open frozen food and dump kind of girl. Blaine hummed happily as he started cracking eggs in a bowl. He knew Sam would want cheese, but no one else would. Blaine wasn’t sure why, cheese in eggs was great. Curls fell over his forehead, and he didn’t bother to move them. Sam loved his curls, and Blaine loved that Sam loved them that much. Blaine turned to look back at Olivia and Lorelai. “You guys want some eggs? I’m making enough for all of us.” Blaine hoped that Puck was eating too, it wasn’t good to get married on an empty stomach. Blaine hummed some more. 

Lorelai watched him cook and took a sip of her coffee. “First of all, excellent coffee maker, Blaine. This coffee is really good. Passes the Gilmore test.” Lorelai reached for some Poptarts sitting on a plate in the middle of the table. “Eggs would be great. And actually I’m glad that Olivia’s finally getting married. I want to hate your brother but I can’t. He’s actually a good person. I know he’s not going to hurt her.” Lorelai had hated Puck at first, because of his bad reputation. Lorelai had had to give in eventually, he really did treat Olivia well. Luke had been the one to take awhile to come around. He’d always been very protective of Olivia. “Actually, I have some news.” They both turned to look at her, a bit surprised. “If I tell you though you can’t say anything to anyone. Luke will kill me for telling you while he’s not here.” She waited until they had both nodded their assent, and taking a deep breath and said, “I just found out I’m pregnant.” This was greeted with gasps. She wasn’t sure what Luke thought yet, he hadn’t said much about it yet. She knew he was just in shock.

Looking at her mother, Olivia wasn’t sure what to say. She was glad if Lorelai was glad. She knew her mother wasn’t averse to having more kids. Olivia had been a product of a sexual encounter when Lorelai was 16. Olivia sipped her own coffee,, which had to be decaf. She looked at Blaine briefly and then turned back to her mother. “What did Dad say? Was he excited?” Luke had been a great dad to her. She knew he’d be a great dad to her future sibling. Olivia watched her mother’s face. She was trying to assess her mother’s feelings. Olivia brushed her hand through her black hair. “How do you feel about it, Mom?”

“I’m glad. I mean, we weren’t trying but we weren’t not trying either.” Lorelai said. As she was talking, Sam came in, looking tired. She shared a look with Blaine and Olivia, and that meant the subject was closed for now. Lorelai watched as Sam went to wrap his arms around his husband’s waist. She had to admit, she liked Sam. He was a sweet kid. She had only met Kurt a few times, and she had thought him haughty and stuck up. And she had to admit, it took some balls to hurt a person like Blaine. Lorelai had never met a sweeter kid than Blaine. Not even Olivia was as sweet as Blaine was. She said, “Morning, Sam. You nervous to renew those vows?”

Sam wasn’t sure what to think about Liv’s mom. She was quite a woman. The kids were all still asleep and Sam knew they’d have to get them up in a bit if they didn’t get up. Sam kissed Blaine and then turned to face Liv’s mother. “I’m not nervous at all. I am just glad that I get to marry Blaine all over again. Marrying him was the best thing that I ever did.” Sam’s voice was strong with conviction. He wasn’t a bit scared. Or nervous. Sam kissed Blaine’s cheek and reached for coffee. Sam could tell that he’d interrupted a serious talk. He knew that he wasn’t going to inquire though, Sam didn’t need to know, if they wanted him to know they’d’ve told him. Sam wasn’t a super curious person. He was also glad he’d put on a shirt before he came downstairs. Sam honestly didn’t mind having Olivia here. They had also agreed to watch Aimee for a week so Olivia and Puck could honeymoon. They were going to Hawaii, from what Sam understood. Sam and Blaine weren’t going to be able to go on their own honeymoon just yet. Sam didn’t mind though. He just wanted to be married to Blaine, and he was, so in his book it was all A okay. “Smells good, baby.”

Blaine knew that he couldn’t love Sam more than he did right now. Sam just proved to him every minute of every day that he loved Blaine beyond all reason. “Thanks, baby.” Blaine said, preening a bit. He was proud of himself. Blaine was glad that his husband didn’t join the girls at the table, but chose to lean against the counter, to where Blaine was cooking. Blaine sized him up. He was truly the luckiest man on the planet. Sam was gorgeous, and all his. Blaine let a smile play on his lips as he stirred the eggs with the spatula. He was on cloud nine right now. “Sam’s just the best thing to ever happen to me.” Blaine said, earning an ‘awww’ from his sister in law and her mother. Blaine had to admit, he was curious as to what Luke was going to say about the baby. Blaine was looking forward to seeing him interact with a baby. Luke loved Olivia, but he’d never been one of those guys who liked kids. He’d not really gotten to cottoning with Beth and Aimee just yet. Blaine knew he loved them both though. He turned to look at his husband. “Do you think Kurt will stay away from the chapel?” Blaine really hoped that he would. They didn’t need him crashing. Blaine still had a hunch that Kurt’s attempts to get him weren’t over. Blaine didn’t trust Kurt one bit, not that he had a reason to. 

Before Sam could reply, Olivia did. “He better not show up. It’s my wedding too and he’ll rue the day if he shows up.” Olivia knew Sam shared her view, and so did Puck. Olivia also knew that Puck would make sure he was forcibly removed if he did show up. Olivia looked over at Blaine and Sam, who were flirting with each other while Blaine cooked. She had to admit, they were one of the cutest couples she’d ever seen. They may have gotten married too fast for some people, but Olivia could tell that they were for real. They were it, what everyone was searching for. Olivia didn’t know how there could be people in the world who condemned homosexuality. Looking at Blaine and Sam was looking at the very definition of love. Olivia gave Blaine a smile as he brought plates to her and Lorelai. “You’re wasted on Sammy.” She teased him, picking up a fork. She hoped that Noah was making sure Aimee ate something besides cereal. She could be a bit of a picky eater on occasion. She smiled as Blaine stuck his tongue out at her as a response. “You know we’d never work out anyway. I’ll never not love Noah.” Olivia watched as he filled plates for himself and Sam. They all were so happy. 

“I will make his life a living hell if he shows up here.” Sam growled as they joined Olivia and Lorelai at the table. Sam wasn’t going to put up with Kurt hitting on Blaine anymore. Blaine was his. Sam had been raised to shoot first and ask questions later. Sam didn’t want to do that, but he would if he had to. Sam had kids in his life, and Blaine. He didn’t want to put that in jeopardy. Sam sipped his coffee and looked at Olivia. “Don’t worry, Liv, we won’t let Kurt ruin anything.” What he was wondering was if Quinn and Rachel were going to show. They were public now. Sam wasn’t sure he liked Quinn. He was trying because of Beth though.

Olivia added some salt to her eggs. “I hope that you’re right, and I hope that he’ll be smart enough to just stay away.” Then another thought occurred to her. “What if those friends of his come in his place? Jeff and what’s his name.” Olivia couldn’t imagine why Kurt would ask them to go, but she wanted all avenues covered. “I don’t know what they’d expect to happen, but they could very well show up here.” She couldn’t help but worry. She supposed a part of her was nervous. She was glad she was finally going to officially be a Puckerman. Olivia was going to say more when the doorbell rang. “Who could that be?” She wondered out loud. They weren’t expecting anyone.

“I’ll get it.” Blaine said, going out to the foyer. When he opened the door, there was a brunette girl standing there. She was of average height and had striking blue eyes. “Can I help you?” Blaine asked curiously. She looked to be in her late teens to early twenties. He knew she had to be new to Raleigh, he’d never seen her before. Blaine wondered what had brought her to the reservation. Especially when he knew she had to be new in the area. Blaine supposed it could always be tied to his and Puck’s dad, they’d always assumed that he had more kids out in the world. 

Marley Rose took a deep breath. “I’m Marley Rose. I’m here on behalf of my fiance, Jake Puckerman.” She saw his eyes widen at this and knew she had the right place. She said, “He doesn’t know I’m here. I have been trying to get him to contact you and Noah for awhile now. I know you and Noah don’t share a dad, but he’s still Noah’s brother.” She didn’t know why Jake was being so very stubborn about contacting his family. “I saw that you married Sam Evans and that’s when I found out you’re Jake’s family.” Marley really didn’t know what her endgame was here. 

“Actually, Puck and I have the same dad that your fiance does. My mom gave me her maiden name to keep our dad out as much as she could.” Blaine didn’t know what Puck was going to say about all of this. “But honestly, we’ve been expecting something like this to happen for years. Our dad wasn’t exactly someone who was careful when it came to sex. Won’t you come in? We’ve having breakfast and there’s plenty.” Blaine told her, and she stepped inside. Blaine led her to the kitchen. “Guys? This is Marley Rose. She’s engaged to a brother of mine and Puck’s. Marley, this is Noah’s fiancee Olivia, and my husband Sam, and Liv’s mom Lorelai.” Blaine shared a look with Olivia. Blaine knew that since Jake didn’t know about this, it was going to end up blowing up in all of their faces. Blaine had a million questions. He wondered where Marley and Jake were from, and if their dad had stayed with Jake and his mom. Blaine really doubted it. He was also wondering why Jake didn’t want to know what his family was like. And Marley was just plain adorable. Blaine could tell that she was shy too, and that endeared her to him even more. Blaine moved to get Marley a plate of breakfast and coffee. She had sat down next to Olivia. Blaine wondered what she was going to say.

Marley looked around at them before she spoke again. “I came here to tell you about Jake, and give you his contact info. We live in Nashville. Actually, Jake just got signed to Sam’s old label.” Marley added this part a bit softly, she didn’t know what Sam would feel about that. “I… he’s going to be so mad if he finds out I came here. But I don’t have any family anymore, my mom died. I don’t want Jake to not have his family around. So I looked you guys up. I know that you’ve all got a wedding today, someone in town told me. I don’t want to crash or anything.” She really didn’t. Marley thanked Blaine for the breakfast. “I just, I’d appreciate it if you’d tell him you did the research and found him. He knows about you guys, due to Blaine’s marrying Sam.” Marley thought Sam had given up too quickly. She had been one of his biggest fans. Marley wanted to get on the radio herself. She was working on some songs to play at The Bluebird Cafe, it was one of the most famous places in Nashville. Marley took a bite out of her toast. “Of course, it’s all up to ya’ll, but I would appreciate it if you did contact him.” Marley avoided Sam’s gaze, she didn’t know what he was feeling, and she didn’t want to upset him further. 

Honestly, Sam didn’t know what to feel. He guessed him being semi famous wasn’t all bad if it led to Blaine and Puck finding family. Sam knew that Marley was avoiding looking at him because of where Jake had been signed. Sam was quiet, and Blaine reached out, lacing his fingers with his husband’s. Sam squeezed them, and tried to hold his emotions inside. He didn’t want to start crying or something. Sam let go so he could go and get some more coffee. He didn’t know if he wanted Blaine and Puck to contact Jake. He also knew it wasn’t his choice. He felt so helpless and it didn’t feel good. Sam didn’t like to think about his time in Nashville. Sam brushed his hand through his long blonde hair. He noticed that his hands were shaking. Sam tried to still them, listening as Blaine asked questions about Jake. Question after question. Not that Sam could blame him for that. It had to be hard to find out you had a half brother and not want to know all you could. Sam kept his back to the kitchen table, his green eyes were filling with tears. He didn’t want anyone to know how upset he was about all of this. Sam didn’t want to bring anyone down, especially Liv. This was her wedding day. She was hopefully only going to get one in her whole life. Sam sniffled, hoping they didn’t hear him. He knew that he had to let go of his Nashville dreams, and it hurt. 

_The world’s been spinning round_  
Since time began  
And when it stops is out of my hands  
So I could swear forever for all it’s worth  
Or give you every day I have on Earth 

_Long as I live_  
Long as I breathe  
With every heartbeat,   
I’ll need you near me  
I won’t leave you behind  
Until the Lord says it’s time to with him  
I’m yours, long as I live 

_No matter if there’s mountains_  
You can’t move  
Or harder times than you thought you’d go through  
And the weight of your world’s too much to bear  
Just remember I’ll always be there 

_The moon and stars aren’t mine to give_  
Neither is eternity  
But I’ll give you a promise tonight  
That I can keep 

_I’m yours, long as I live  
I’m yours, long as I live_

Sam strummed the last note on his guitar. He and Puck had sung a duet, making one out of one of Sam’s songs. He’d actually written it for this day. They had wanted to use it for their vows for Blaine and Olivia. Everyone in the chapel was crying. Sam included. He wiped his eyes and handed his guitar to Haili Hudson, who put it safely out of the way so they could continue the ceremony. So far it had gone smoothly. Blaine went through his vows to Sam, promising that Sam would never have to be without him ever again. Sam’s green eyes were full of tears, and he knew that this was going to always be the smartest thing he’d ever done. Sam held Blaine’s hands as they listened to Olivia’s vows for Puck. Sam truly couldn’t imagine anyone that was more solid than Olivia and Puck, except for himself and Blaine, of course. He watched as Olivia’s eyes brushed with tears, she had to pause during her vows. Sam saw Aimee, who had insisted on standing at the altar with Lorelai and Rachel, who were Liv’s bridesmaids. Sam thought Aimee was an adorable little girl. Stacie and Stevie were on their side of the altar, they’d insisted on being included, not that Sam had minded that in the least. Quinn was holding Beth, who was happily gurgling away. 

They were heading down to the basement of the church to the reception. Olivia couldn’t stop staring at her ring. She was officially a Puckerman. Marley had come, even though she’d protested that she didn’t want to intrude. They had all insisted though. They didn’t see the point in her hanging in her hotel when she could be at the wedding. Olivia couldn’t believe how beautiful the wedding had been. She looked to the food table, they hadn’t wanted to go too fancy, there was fried chicken, potato salad, mashed potatoes, and green beans. The cake was an ice cream cake, Blaine had insisted. She moved to get a plate of food and she and Blaine sat together. Olivia watched as Puck and Sam greeted people. She was glad to not see Kurt. Maybe he did have some sense. She turned to Blaine. “This wedding was so amazing. Sam and Noah singing us that song was so great.” Olivia loved that Sam had written it. Olivia brushed some of her long black hair out of her eyes. She grinned at Blaine, his curls fell over his forehead. “You look so handsome.” Olivia was already looking forward to Hawaii. She and Puck deserved an amazing honeymoon. She had already packed her skimpiest bikinis. “I bet Sam loves that too.” 

Blaine grinned back at her. “Sam’s going to rip it off as soon as we get home.” He had gotten Quinn to agree to watch all of their kids for one night for them. Blaine reached for his can of soda. He took a long sip. “I bet you can’t wait to leave for your honeymoon.” Blaine couldn’t wait til he and Sam could go. They hadn’t had one yet. But honestly Blaine didn’t really mind. What he wanted was to be married to Sam, and they were. Blaine brushed some curls off his forehead, although they fell right back. Blaine didn’t mind though, he knew that Sam loved them just the way they were. Honestly it was a huge turn on for him to have Sam’s hands in his hair.

A grin spread across her face again. “Yeah, I totally can’t wait.” Olivia said, and took a very healthy bite of her fried chicken. Olivia still couldn’t believe that she was finally married. It had been coming for a long time. Olivia brushed some of her hair off her neck. “I got some great bathing suits to wear.” Olivia couldn’t wait for Puck to see the yellow and polka dot one. It covered (just barely) her parts but it was very skimpy. Olivia caught sight of Adam, who had joined the line to have Sam and Puck greet them. She had to admit, it was a bit startling. Olivia hadn’t expected him to show up. “Look, Blaine, Adam showed up. You don’t think he brought Kurt, do you?” 

“I doubt it, they broke up.” Blaine told her, looking where she had indicated. His voice was a soft whisper. Blaine watched as Adam shook Puck and Sam’s hands, and spoke some. Blaine was sure it was just something that was congratulations. Blaine honestly wasn’t sure why Adam had come. They weren’t really friends. But Blaine didn’t want to ask him to leave. That would be rude. Plus, he’d been raised in the South, and they had manners. Blaine’s eyes kept on Adam as he joined the food line. He was wondering if he was actually right about Adam not bringing Kurt. Blaine hoped that he was. He had no desire to have Kurt ruin this. Blaine was glad that Marley had found someone to talk to, she was talking to Rachel. He thought they were really going to like each other. As long as Marley didn’t bring up her goal to be a singer. Rachel’s career had come to a total and screeching halt when she’d had throat cancer. Blaine knew that it had to be such a huge loss for her. That’s why she taught music now. Blaine didn’t know that he could pull that off if it was him in her place. He truly did admire Rachel for still doing what she could to be in the music industry. It was very admirable. 

That was true. Olivia watched Adam move, too, and she hoped Blaine was right about there being no reason for Adam to bring Kurt. Olivia forked up some of her potato salad. “You make a good point, B. They did call it quits.” She didn’t know which story to get behind as far as the breakup went. There were quite a few stories going around about it. Olivia brushed her hand through her long hair. She was going to say more when her blue eyes caught sight of Kurt. “B, look who showed up.” Olivia said, touching her brother in law’s arm. Olivia didn’t know what he was doing here, but she hoped that he wasn’t here to cause trouble.

Before Blaine could answer, Puck caught sight of Kurt. Thankfully, he was alone, he hadn’t come with those couple friends of his. Puck looked at Kurt. “What the hell are you doing, Hummel?” Puck asked. “You know that you’re not supposed to be here. Don’t make me throw you out.” He said sharply. Puck couldn’t believe this. So far everything had gone so smoothly. Puck wasn’t going to let Kurt ruin things. Puck didn’t want to have to cause a scene. Sam met Puck’s eye, and Puck knew that Sam was giving him the green light to do what he needed to do. Puck folded his arms. Thankfully the receiving line was over. He kept his hazel eyes on Kurt’s, daring him to say something. “You need to leave.”

“Honestly, Puck, I’m not here to cause trouble. Really. I am hoping to show Blaine that I support his decision. I’m just here to celebrate the wedding.” Kurt didn’t know if Puck would accept that, but honestly, it was the truth. He had accepted that he and Blaine were over. It had been hard but he was going to do his best to accept it. Kurt brushed his hand over his brown hair. “I swear, that’s all I’m here for.” Kurt didn’t know what else to say to get his point across. He was doing his best to avoid meeting Sam’s eye. He knew that Sam wouldn’t believe him either.

Sam folded his arms and kept his green eyes on Kurt, despite the other man avoiding his gaze. “Kurt, I don’t want to have to kick you out of here, so I’ll let you stay. But at the first sign of trouble you’re out of here, do you understand me?” Sam asked, and he was surprised when he actually answered him. Sam watched Kurt as he moved to join the food line. Sam kept his green eyes on Kurt until he’d gone to sit down with his food. Sam and Puck joined the food line. Sam wondered if he’d done the right thing by letting Kurt stay. But he knew that if Kurt really did need to have a second chance. Sam just hoped it would work. 

_Two weeks later_

Puck and Blaine were sitting in a booth at Luke’s. They’d gotten in touch with Jake. He had told them he’d come, and so as soon as Puck and Olivia had gotten back, they’d set up a meeting with Jake. Puck wondered if he was actually going to show. Puck had told Luke they were going to wait to order until Jake arrived. Puck didn’t know if he was actually going to show or not. He’d seemed very reluctant. Puck hadn’t told him that Marley had gotten in touch, he didn’t want to cause problems with Marley and Jake for no good reason. Puck brushed his hand across his scruffy chin. “You think he’s going to show?” Puck asked his brother. “Cause I’m not sure that I think so. He didn’t sound like he was that into coming.” Puck looked out the window, looking for Jake. Marley had secretly sent them a photo. Puck didn’t know what they were going to say to him when he did show up. It wasn’t something that Puck had thought about since they’d heard from Marley. But then again, he’d been on his honeymoon. Puck had had a hell of a time convincing Olivia to just let him and Blaine go. Sam hadn’t been hard to convince, he had told them that they could go without him, he didn’t want to intrude. Puck knew that Olivia was just trying to be there for them, however she could be. Puck could understand that completely.

Blaine brushed some of his curls out of his eyes. His hair was getting long again. But Sam liked it. Blaine looked out of the window, also looking for Jake. “I need to tell you something.” When he’d been looking for Jake’s info, he’d made the discovery that they had a sister, also. She was 17, and in high school in Ohio. Blaine wasn’t sure if they should look her up or not. “There’s also a sister, her name is Sarah Puckerman, and she lives in Ohio. I know that Marley gave us Jake’s info, but I looked him up too, and I found Sarah.” Blaine knew that Puck wouldn’t be angry.

Sadly, that didn’t surprise him. “Did you contact her?” He asked curiously. Puck wasn’t angry that Blaine was only telling him now. It probably wasn’t the only one they had out there in the world. Puck looked out the window again. “At least she’s got the last name.” Blaine’s mother hadn’t wanted the reminder of the eldest Puckerman around, so she’d given Blaine her maiden name. Puck actually kind of envied him. He didn’t even know his mother’s maiden name. And she had died, and that’s why they were so close, they were all the family they had left.

Blaine shook his head. “No, I didn’t. I wanted to see what you thought first.” Blaine thought that they should come to the decision together. Blaine wondered if Puck was right about Jake not showing up. He tucked some curls behind his ear. Before his brother could chime in, they caught sight of Jake. Jake was mixed, his mother had been black. Apparently the eldest Puckerman hadn’t had a type. Blaine watched as Jake stepped inside. Blaine met Puck’s eye and then turned around to wave to Jake. “Over here.” Blaine called out, and Jake headed over. Blaine was going to make room in the booth, but Jake pulled a chair up and sat on it. “I’m Blaine Evans, this is my brother Noah Puckerman. We’ve both been recently married.” Blaine had wanted to get rid of his mother’s memory so he’d taken Sam’s last name. She hadn’t exactly been a good one. Blaine knew that she wouldn’t have accepted his life choices. Blaine didn’t know if she had lived if he’d actually have told her he was gay. Blaine kept his hazel eyes on Jake, wondering what the other man was thinking. He seemed to be the strong silent type. Blaine had never been into that at all. Blaine offered his hand to Jake to shake, and at first, he seemed reluctant, but then he shook it. Blaine couldn’t keep his eyebrows from rising when Jake had seemed hesitant. “What’s wrong? You don’t shake hands?” His tone skeptical.

Jake didn’t know how to say that he wasn’t a fan of gays. He knew that it wasn’t going to turn him gay, touching Blaine, but he couldn’t help his revolusion. Jake had also met their sister, and he knew that she was also gay. He scratched the back of his head. “It’s not that.” He wasn’t sure what to say. He knew that it was going to make him sound cruel. Jake finally spoke. “I am not really accepting of gays.” He said, and wasn’t surprised when Blaine set a glare on him. “I know that makes me sound like a total and complete dick. You can live whatever life you choose, but I don’t accept it.”

Blaine and Puck shared a look, and then Puck spoke up. “So you’re going to cut family out of your life because Blaine’s gay? Do you even know how that sounds? We’re all the family that you’ve got. And a sister in Ohio.” He didn’t know where Jake had gotten his view. “It’s the 21st century, man. Your attitude is behind the times. And I’m not going to let you insult my baby brother for something that he can’t help or control. You know it’s not a choice, right? He was born this way. And do you even know what he’s been through? Of course you don’t. He doesn’t deserve your hatred.” Puck had never been so angry. 

Doing his best not to roll his eyes, Jake replied, “You can spit all of that politically correct rhetoric at me all you want, but I’m not going to agree with you. Gay people aren’t born that way. You can’t convince me otherwise. I agreed to come and meet you for my fiancee. She wouldn’t let up on me if I didn’t agree to come.” Jake brushed his hand across his goatee. “And I don’t care if he wants to be gay, I just don’t want to be in his life. I’m sorry that this isn’t what you wanted to hear. Also, I’ve met Sarah. She’s also gay. There’s a third brother, he lives in New Haven with both of his mothers. Needless to say I won’t be in contact with either of them again. I did bring his info for you, and Sarah’s. That wasn’t something that Marley asked me to do, I just didn’t see the point in being rude for no reason.” Jake handed them the sheet of paper he’d written their information on. “It wasn’t a wasted trip, I’ve got some business in Charleston and this was on my way. You guys can talk to Marley if you so choose, that’s her choice. But this is going to be it for us.” Jake knew that it made him sound horrible. But he didn’t care. Jake wasn’t one of those people who wanted to be violent. He didn’t care enough to do that. He just didn’t want gays in his life. He supposed it was because he had been raised in the South, and his mother was a Southern baptist. Jake wasn’t himself though.

With that he finished speaking and took off. Blaine sighed as Luke came over with his duke pad. Blaine looked up at Luke, he was fighting back his tears. “I’ll have a double bacon cheeseburger and chili cheese fries, Luke.” Blaine was hoping that Luke wouldn’t ask about what they’d talked about. Blaine didn’t want to talk about it. He’d never guessed that Jake would be prejudiced. Blaine barely heard what his big brother ordered. He was too busy lamenting the loss of Jake. He also wondered if Marley had known how Jake felt about gays. If she had that had been cruel of her. Blaine waited until Luke had gone to put their order in before he spoke. “Do you think Marley knew before she came to us that Jake’s homophobic?” Blaine asked. “I kind of have to believe that she didn’t. Because otherwise she did know and it was cruel of her to tell us to get in touch with him.” Blaine sipped his Coke. He was more than disappointed. He was actually devastated. Blaine had always wanted a younger brother. And now he had one but Jake didn’t want to be in his life. Blaine was at least a bit comforted by the fact that Sarah was also gay, at least he’d have a sister. Then he remembered the other brother in New Haven. 

That was something that Puck hadn’t thought of. What if she had known? Puck sipped his own drink, grape soda. Puck didn’t know if he liked that idea, either. “Let’s hope that she didn’t know. But at least we can contact Sarah. And apparently our brother is Jeremy Rollins.” Puck said, looking at the info Jake had given them. Puck wondered what they were like. At least they knew Jeremy and Sarah would accept them for who they were. Puck wondered what it was going to be like to have Northerners for siblings. They weren’t the kind of Southerner to discriminate, but it would definitely be a new experience. Puck didn’t know if that would extend to the whole town, though.

Blaine peered at the paper when Puck handed it to him. Blaine wondered what they were like. “It says here that Sarah’s 17 and Jeremy’s 16.” He knew it might be hard to get them here for a visit. Blaine knew they could Skype first. Blaine saw Rachel walking by outside, she actually looked happy. Blaine was glad. He assumed it had to do with Quinn. Blaine didn’t know if they were actually going to last, but he hoped so. Blaine turned back to his brother. “I hope that we can at least get them to Skype us first.” Blaine knew that was a more attainable goal. Blaine looked down at the table, curls falling over his forehead. He didn’t know how to feel about anything right now. He was all mixed up. 

A few days later, Jeremy Thomas Rollins was waiting for the Skype call from his brother Blaine Evans. Jeremy was Latino. He’d been adopted by a white lesbian couple. Jeremy had his laptop open and Skype pulled up. He was thinking about what it must be like to get to live on a reservation. Jeremy didn’t know that he liked New Haven. It was a college town, and he wasn’t as enamored with it as everyone else was. Jeremy was tossing around a football while he waited. He wasn’t on a team though. His moms didn’t believe in organized sports. Jeremy didn’t mind though. He wasn’t one to play sports. He had just come out as bisexual, and he was just glad to be out in the open. Jeremy found himself grinning as the Skype call came in. He answered with a grin. “Hey, I’m Jeremy.” He said, as one of the cutest guys he’d ever seen filled his laptop screen. “You must be Blaine.” Jeremy said, his brown eyes taking in those gorgeous black curls. Jeremy knew they were related and he was married, but he still couldn’t believe how hot his brother was. Jeremy ran a hand through his own black hair. He didn’t know what to say next. This was new territory for him. “Is Noah with you, too?” He asked curiously. He kind of liked being the youngest.

Blaine smiled at Jeremy as he settled in on the couch. Sam had taken the twins and Beth for haircuts. Blaine was glad that he was alone for this. Blaine brushed curls out of his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, I’m Blaine. It’s so great to finally talk in person. You seem so great from you emails.” Blaine didn’t know what to say anymore than Jeremy did. Blaine looked at Jeremy. “Puck’s working. It’s just me. My husband took the kids to get haircuts.” Blaine had already told him about Beth and the twins. Blaine reached to sip his soda. “I’m so glad to talk to you though. You can come visit us anytime you want. We’ve got our own land and houses on the rez.” Blaine honestly hoped that Jeremy could come. Blaine couldn’t wait to meet him in person. Sarah had been allowed to visit, she was going to arrive in a couple of weeks. School would be out for the summer. Blaine had told Sarah’s grandmother he’d take care of the expenses. Apparently they weren’t so well off. “I know I told you about Sarah. She’s coming in a couple of weeks when school lets out for the summer.” Blaine was so glad that he’d gotten in touch with his long lost siblings. Puck seemed glad too, although he hadn’t said much. Blaine wondered if he was still smarting over Jake’s rejection. Marley had called to apologize, she’d assured them she’d had no idea how he felt, and they’d broken up. Blaine had felt bad about that. 

Jeremy grinned even wider. “My moms already gave me the green light to come and visit as soon as school lets out.” Jeremy was so glad he’d get to meet Sarah also. “That’s so awesome that I’ll get to meet Sarah too.” Jeremy also couldn’t wait to meet Sam. Sam had seemed totally amazing too. He hadn’t heard of his music before, but he had decided he’d ask Sam to play for him. Blaine had sent him a copy of the wedding video. Jeremy leaned back in his desk chair. “I’m so ready to get out of here. Being in a college town isn’t always the best.” Jeremy didn’t want to complain about New Haven though.

“Yeah, that’s true. You can tell your moms if they need help paying for anything I’ll help.” Blaine couldn’t believe it, both of his siblings would get to come at the same time. Blaine was looking forward to it. He messed up his curls again. They were down to his collarbone. Blaine had to admit, if he didn’t have a husband, Jeremy would be his type. And if they weren’t related, of course. Blaine thought Jeremy looked more like Blaine than Puck did. Blaine thought it was the skin color. Native American and Latino skin color were similar. Blaine found himself grinning widely. “I can’t wait, it’ll be so amazing.”

A smile spread over Jeremy’s face. “Thanks, but we’ve got it covered. We’re good for money most of the time. Mom’s a tenured professor, and Ma’s a lawyer. Plus, when I lost my grandmother she left us a lot of money. That was a little over a year ago.” Jeremy’s voice fell a bit, but he managed to keep the tears out of his voice. Jeremy waved his hand when Blaine started to give him his condolences. “I know what you’re going to say. You don’t have to say anything. She was sick for a really long time, and we had time to prepare. She wasn’t in pain anymore, so we at least got a chance to fulfill her last wishes.” Jeremy missed her. She had wanted him to go to a good college, and he’d been getting great grades for years. Jeremy had his eyes on UCLA. He wanted to go for music. Jeremy had taught himself to play guitar. He wrote songs all the time. Jeremy cupped his jaw under his hand. “You are really sweet to offer though. Do you think you could give me Sarah’s info too? So I can contact her and stuff before we visit.” Jeremy pulled out a pad to write it down as Blaine told him all of Sarah’s information. Jeremy told himself that he would call her tonight. He grinned at Blaine. “Can I just tell you, you are gorgeous. If I wasn’t related to you, I’d totally want to be with you. Truly.”

That made Blaine blush deeply. “You are too, honestly. I am glad we’re in agreement. I guess we’re definitely related.” Blaine said, and they both laughed. Blaine liked Jeremy already. He was a good kid. Blaine wished he could talk longer, but he had to go cook dinner. Blaine didn’t want to go. “I wish I could keep talking but I’ve got to go start dinner. The fam will be back soon.” They said goodbye, and Blaine hung up. Blaine could hardly believe it. Jeremy was exactly like he’d thought he would be. Blaine didn’t know how he could have at least gotten a great brother. Blaine’s family tree was full of losers on both sides. They weren’t exactly family that Blaine wanted to claim. Blaine was kind of glad that his dad had been such a huge Casanova. Blaine was glad that he had more siblings to get to know. Blaine loved that he got that opportunity. He brushed his hand through his curls and headed to the kitchen. Blaine was going to make baked spaghetti. It was a favorite of the twins. Blaine was so glad that the twins liked him. It would have been hard to deal with had they not. He hummed happily to himself as he got to work. 

The following evening, Puck ducked into Luke’s. He’d called ahead to order some dinner for the family. He was surprised to find Rachel standing at the counter. “Hey, Hudson.” Puck said as he came to a stop at the counter himself. Puck didn’t really know what to say to her. They hadn’t exactly been close before Finn had passed away. Puck didn’t know how he was going to get by with the small talk. Puck had never been good at small talk. Then it hit him that he could ask her about how Quinn and Haili were. “I suppose I could ask, how’re Quinn and the kid?” Puck asked, hoping that Caesar came out with his food soon.

Rachel brushed her hand through her long brown hair. She didn’t know what to say to him. They weren’t very close. She wasn’t sure how she was going to get through talking to him. She didn’t really like him that much. Rachel replied, “Hello, Noah. Quinn and Haili are fine. I’m getting some lunch for Quinn before I go home to relieve the babysitter.” Rachel didn’t really know what to add to that. She was waiting for Quinn’s blt and fries. Rachel didn’t know what else to say to him. They didn’t really talk that often when they were shoved together. Rachel brushed some hair behind her ear. “How are your family? You enjoy your honeymoon?”

That gave him some relief. He could talk about Liv and Aimee. “They’re good, actually. And Blaine and I have some siblings coming to visit.” He knew that would be some news for the gossip mill. Puck also knew that Blaine wouldn’t mind him saying so. It wasn’t a secret about their dad being a Casanova. Puck was going to say more when his phone rang. It was Blaine. Puck excused himself to answer. “Hey, Squirt, what’s going on?” He asked. Puck felt his heart fall to his feet when his brother told him that their dad was dead. Puck’s face went white. “He’s what?” Puck’s voice was barely above a whisper. He heard Blaine telling him it had been a couple of years previous, he’d had stomach cancer. Puck didn’t know what to feel. On the one hand, he didn’t miss him, and on the other hand he did. Puck couldn’t breathe. He tried to take a deep breath, and his knees were shaking. Puck reached for a chair and sank into it. He was vaguely aware of Rachel checking on him, but he could barely concentrate. Puck tried to catch his breath. “Okay. Thanks for telling me, Squirt.” Puck managed to say, and hung up. Puck turned to look at Rachel. Caesar had put their food on the counter. “Rach, my dad’s gone.” 

“Oh, Noah.” Rachel said, touching his shoulder. She felt sorry for him. She didn’t know what it was like from experience, but she knew it had to be awful. Rachel touched his shoulder more, and knelt to look him in the eye. “It’s going to be okay, Noah. I know that it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it will be. I know it’s been a long time since you’ve seen him. And it might be hard for you, knowing that you can’t fix things between the two of you, but you shouldn’t agonize over it. There’s nothing that you can do about it. So don’t torture yourself.” Rachel knew that nothing could really make him feel better. But she didn’t want to not say anything. Rachel also knew that he wouldn’t have chosen her to be with him when he found out. Rachel didn’t blame him for that though. They weren’t really friends. Rachel just wished she could do something more for him. She decided she’d go get Luke. “I’ll be right back.” She told him. Rachel went over to the counter, where she thankfully found Luke. “Luke? Puck needs someone to talk to, he just found out his father passed away.” Rachel knew that she didn’t have to explain why she had chosen him to ask. Rachel met Luke’s eye, and Rachel knew that this might be making him uncomfortable. Luke didn’t do things like talk about people’s feelings often. Rachel tucked some of her hair behind her ear. 

Taking a deep breath, Luke thanked her, and she got Quinn’s food and left. Luke told Caesar to keep an eye on the counter and went over to Puck. Luke pulled up a chair to sit next to his son in law. “Rachel told me about your dad. Do you want to talk about it?” Luke didn’t know if Puck would or not. Luke had lost both of his parents, he knew what it felt like to lose your parents. “I know how it feels to lose your parents. My mom died when I was in high school, and my dad a few years after that.” Luke knew that Puck knew that, but he still felt like Puck should hear that. 

Puck’s hazel eyes had filled with tears. He lifted his gaze from his lap and turned to look at Luke. “I know. I just… I hated my dad so much for leaving. I don’t get to fix things with him. He died and none of us knew. It’s been two years.” His voice shook as he spoke. Puck wiped his eyes. “I hate that I didn’t get to tell him off for what he did to me.” He hated that that chance had been ripped away. Puck knew that Luke wasn’t good at this sort of thing, and he was glad that Luke was trying for him. Puck knew not to acknowledge that fact though. He was quiet, his chin still trembling.

“I know that must be hard. But you don’t know that you aren’t better off without him. You are a real good kid, Puckerman. I know that there’s no one else who will treat Olivia better than you do. You are going to be fine. And there’s no saying that you can’t still tell him off. It’s not the same thing, but you could go to his grave and say what you need to say. It wouldn’t hurt anything.” Luke didn’t even begin to know what that felt like for him. He hadn’t had the same type of relationship with his parents. Luke couldn’t commiserate with him on that. “I just don’t want to see you beating yourself up for what he did. None of this is your fault.” 

While he knew Luke was right, it didn’t help him feel any better. Puck knew that he had to get home and talk to Olivia about this. “Thanks, Luke.” Puck said, and managed to stand. “I need to go home. I appreciate you trying though.” Puck gave Luke a hug, and then he grabbed his bag of food, dropping money on the counter, despite Luke insisting that they never pay. Puck waved on his way out and got out to his truck. Puck wondered how Blaine was taking it. He hadn’t gotten emotional on the phone, but that didn’t mean anything. He could still be holding it all inside. Puck knew that was the more likely outcome. Puck just hoped that Sam could get him to talk about it. Puck was sure that he could. 

When Blaine hung up, his hand was shaking. Sam was at work, and he wished that he was home. Blaine just couldn’t handle this without him. He tried to take a deep breath, and looked out of the window. This would take time.

_It’s like a storm_  
That cuts a path  
It breaks your will, it feels like that  
You think you’re lost, but you’re not lost  
On your own, you’re not alone 

_I will stand by you_  
I will help you through  
When you’ve done all you can do  
And you can’t cope  
I will dry your eyes  
I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight  
And I won’t let go 

_It hurts my heart to see you cry_  
I know it’s dark, this part of life  
Oh it finds us all, and we’re too small to stop the rain  
Oh but when it rains 

_Don’t be afraid to fall_  
I’m right here to catch you  
I won’t let you down  
It won’t get you down  
You’re gonna make it  
I know you can make it 

_I’m gonna hold you_  
And I won’t let go  
I won’t let go  
No I won’t 

 

_**Author’s note: Sorry it’s been awhile. I hope that this satisfies for the long wait. I think there’s going to be more than I thought to this fic. I hope ya’ll are still hanging in there. I hope ya’ll feel compelled to leave a review!** _


	12. I Will See You Through

Chapter Twelve: I’ll See You Through

The beginning of June brought Jeremy and Sarah to Raleigh. Sarah was staying with Puck and Liv and Jeremy was with Blaine and Sam. They were each there for the remainder of the summer. Jeremy had banded together with the twins already, they were hunkered down in the kids’ room playing video games. They loved their new uncle. Jeremy was having so much fun, he didn’t want to leave, and it had only been two days. Jeremy was just starting to get into Call of Duty when his half sister knocked on the door. The twins had adjoining bedrooms that connected through a bathroom. Jeremy was totally jelly. Beth had her own room also, and now that she was two, she had gotten to choose how it was decorated. She’d chosen Disney Princesses. Jeremy looked up when he heard the knock. “Uh, hey, girl. What’s it like over with Puckermore?” That was the couple name for Puck and Olivia, which he hated and Olivia loved. Jeremy handed Steve the controller so he could focus on what Olivia had to say. Jeremy ran a hand through his black hair. Sarah had brunette hair, blue eyes, she was on the tall side, and apparently looked so hot in a bikini. Jeremy hadn’t been looking, she was his half sister. “Do you like Haili?” He wasn’t sure if he did just yet.

Sarah wasn’t sure that she liked the couple name thing herself. And she had to admit, Puck’s wife was uber hot. She was totally and completely loving that all of the eldest Puckerman children, with the one and only exception of Jake, and well, Puck, were on the LGBTQIA section of the population. Sarah tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “It’s great. I actually came to see if you want to go to this party I was invited to. It’s at this place on the rez that everyone goes to hang out.” She wasn’t sure what to think of having Native American blood in her linage. She was also half Jewish. She really didn’t like that part, she refused to celebrate anything having to do with that part of her. She leaned back in the bean bag chair. She wasn’t sure what Jeremy had going on in New Haven, and she thought he needed to get out there and have a summer fling. Sarah planned to do the same. She arched an eyebrow as she looked at her younger brother. “Are you single or what? You’ve come out as bisexual, so you’ve got plenty of options.” Sarah was a total and complete lesbian. She was dying for her first real fling. She’d kissed before but that was all she’d really done. She was finally out of Lima, Ohio.

Thankfully the twins were engrossed in the video game they were playing. “I’m single, yeah. Why does it matter? I came here this summer to get to know my family.” Jeremy would be lying if he said that he wouldn’t take a fling if it was going to happen. Jeremy brushed his hand through his black hair. Their other brothers ex-fiancee Marley was coming in a couple of weeks. With having been raised by two moms, Jeremy was more than outraged that Jake was prejudiced. Jeremy couldn’t believe it that he was like that in this day and age. “You are just bound and determined to get me laid, aren’t you?” He asked, a bit touchy. Jeremy was more into guys, and he’d been saving himself for someone special. Although, there was a possibility that he could meet that guy at the party. Jeremy had just never been that kind of guy, who went to parties. But maybe that was the problem. Maybe he wasn’t getting out there enough since he’d lost his nana. Jeremy met Sarah’s blue eyes. She didn’t really have any physical markers of her Native American blood. Not that Puck did. He only tanned well and was pretty much hairless except for his head. No leg hair, arm hair, or chest hair. Jeremy looked at his big sister, trying to decide what to say to her. It had to be right. 

“Come on, Jeremy. No one’s saying don’t hang with the fam. Just, don’t keep yourself from having some fun with someone. There’s some great teenagers here, Jeremy.” She didn’t know why, but he hated being called ‘Jer’, and she’d almost called him that. She toyed with the ends of her long brunette hair. “I need this, Jeremy. I actually had our dad raise me for a couple of years after he left North Carolina, and Noah keeps grilling me about it. Not to be mean, but it’s really hard for me to deal with. I apparently am the only one who spent any real time with our deadbeat father.” Sarah was totally jealous that Jeremy had two moms. While he had Puckerman DNA, he was still able to have a normal, healthy upbringing. And he did seem to be over the moon to have siblings. She also knew that he still loved his moms. Sarah cast her glance at the twins, who were arguing over what killing style was best. Sarah let her blue eyes take in her baby brother. “You know you need to have fun. I’ve been to two parties already. They were full of hot guys. I know that’s what you prefer. Just please, Jeremy. Come with me. You will have fun, I swear. Please.”

It was then that Jeremy knew it was because she didn’t want to go alone. He looked at her for a very long moment, trying to assess whether he could handle this or not. Jeremy glanced towards his for lack of a better word, niece and nephew, since that’s what he sort of was to them, an uncle, and watched them for a long moment. He wasn’t sure what to do, but he knew if he did go, they would be fine to play together. Jeremy brushed his hand across his chin, still musing. “It’s just not my thing, Sar.” He said, shrugging one of his only medium broad shoulders. “I don’t know that I want to go.”

Letting out a groan of exasperation, Sarah leaned closer, showing him the weed she had hidden in her bra. “I know you smoke. You live in New Haven, with all of those college kids around.” Sarah knew she was right when she saw a look of longing on his gorgeous face. “And I’ve got my vape, it’s much smoother on the lungs than smoking a j is.” Sarah said, leaning back before the kids could see. Her actual niece was off with her cousin Aimee and Sarah assumed Quinn and Rachel. She wasn’t so sure what to think of the two of them just yet. She knew they were dating and she also knew the whole story of Blaine and Quinn. The blonde was a huge hypocrite in Sarah’s eyes. 

She was good. Especially with the knowing he was a pot smoker. Jeremy let out a smile. “Okay. I’ll go with you.” He said. Jeremy wasn’t sure it was a good idea but he decided it was going to be okay if it was a mistake. Jeremy brushed his hand through his hair again. “Let me make sure it’s okay with Blaine and Sam first.” Jeremy wasn’t sure what they were going to say but he also knew that they weren’t going to be so uptight about it. Jeremy had to admit, he wanted to get his mind off his grandmother. He’d gone over the whole story with Blaine and Sam a couple of days ago and it had brought things back to the forefront. Jeremy missed her so much. He hoped that she was okay wherever she was. Jeremy wasn’t sure that he believed in God and heaven. If there was a God, his nana would still be alive. Jeremy missed her more than he could put into words. This party may not be a bad idea after all. Jeremy just wished that his moms were going to be okay. It was hard to know when he wasn’t with them in New Haven. Despite being prepared for it, it had still felt like the worst thing that Jeremy had ever been through and it was the same for his moms. 

Later that evening, Rachel was working on some dinner for herself and the girls. Quinn was working and so she was babysitting Beth. She was surprised when she heard the front door open and Kurt came in. She was surprised because Kurt had been keeping to himself since Blaine and Sam had renewed their vows. Rachel looked up as he came into the kitchen. She looked at him as he got a soda out of the fridge. “What are you doing here, Kurt? It’s not like you have been talking to anyone. You’ve been holed up feeling sorry for yourself.” Rachel wasn’t going to want to hear him complaining about Blaine and Sam. It was getting real old, his complaining routine. “Don’t start complaining about Blaine and Sam. I know that you’re hurt, I know that. But I can’t hear it anymore how upset you are. You have to start moving on. Maybe Adam isn’t the one for you, and that’s fine. That doesn’t mean that you can’t move on.” Rachel knew he was going to screech at her like a monkey and she was going to give it right back to him. She knew that she wasn’t much better than she was, she had her own diva, selfish, feel sorry for me moments. She got that. That didn’t mean that she wanted to hear Kurt’s whining. She stirred the ground beef, she was making sloppy joes. Rachel was also making mac and cheese. It was Haili’s favorite. Rachel then turned her gaze back to Kurt. 

Kurt rolled his eyes. “I’m… I know that I have to move on. I’m not going to complain about Blaine and Sam. I need to talk about something else.” Tears had filled his eyes. He had just found out that Burt had cancer. After all they had been through, they didn’t deserve this. He knew that Rachel was going to be just as devastated. “Rachel….. Dad’s got cancer.” He still didn’t feel like it was real yet. Kurt cleared his throat. He was trying to screw up the courage to tell her how Burt had found out and what kind of cancer it was. Rachel’s hands stilled as his words hung in the air. “He was just at the doctor for routine tests and that’s when they found it.” Kurt didn’t know how they were going to get through this. Kurt couldn’t lose his dad after losing his brother. It was too much. Kurt had lost his mother at a young age as well, and this was too much for him to handle. Sniffling, Kurt reached for a paper towel to wipe his face. Rachel’s mouth was dropped open in surprise. Kurt didn’t know what else to say. He was still processing it. Kurt moved to add the noodles to the water, he needed to have his hands busy. It was too much to handle. Kurt took a shaky breath. “I don’t know how to handle this.”

It was scary as hell, and Rachel knew how scared Kurt had to be. Rachel brushed her hand through her hair, her hands shaking. “Kurt…. I’m…. you must be so scared.” She said, her voice also shaking. Rachel could only watch him cook, she sank into one of the kitchen chairs. Rachel set her hands on the table, needing to feel it, needing to feel something that was real. Rachel loved Burt. He was one of the best men that she knew. Rachel knew that he was one of the best dads that she knew as well. She knew he had to be because while Kurt could be a selfish diva on occasion, he was a good person. Rachel stared at the table, trying to formulate her thoughts. “He’s going to be okay, Kurt. He has to be.” Rachel had to believe that. This was hard to deal with, after they lost Finn. It had taken a long time for her to get over Finn, and she knew that while that was hard, this was going to be even harder. Finn had been sudden, unexpected. This was going to be dealing with it every day and having to see Burt go through having cancer. Rachel was a cancer survivor, she knew how hard that fight was. She knew that this was going to bring up her own feelings and experience with it all over again. Rachel knew though that she could handle that, she wanted to help Burt and the rest of the family through this. Rachel looked up at her best friend, she knew that this was going to be the second hardest thing Kurt had gone through.

It was hard to acknowledge that she’d spoken about the outcome. Kurt’s heart was just pounding in his chest. It was so fucking scary. “I can’t lose him. I’m… Adam and I are over. Maybe for good. I can’t do this alone. I know that I have you, but it’s not the same. I don’t have anyone. I wish that I did. I don’t blame Adam for leaving me, I don’t. I wasn’t really present in that relationship. I wish that I had been. He didn’t deserve what I did to him. Is this because of me? Is this…. Is this happening to my dad because of my sucky karma? I’ve been a total and complete tool since we lost Finn. I know that. Look at what I did to Blaine. He already had some of the worst things that can happen to someone happen to him. And then, me, his first boyfriend, treated him like shit. And then I tried to mess up his relationship with his husband. Which he doesn’t deserve either. I just… I wish I could go back and change things. This… it’s all my fault.” Kurt’s face went white as a sheet. He knew it was wrong to think that way. It wasn’t his fault. Things happened, even to good people. Kurt also knew that’s why he was an atheist. Kurt just couldn’t believe that there was a God out there who was just letting all of this happen.

“No, Kurt. This isn’t your fault. Things just happen sometimes. Rachel knew that that wasn’t a good enough explanation, but it was the truth. She got up, to put some plates on the table. Nothing that fancy, it was going to be dinner with two girls younger than ten. Rachel tucked some of her brown hair behind her ear. She got up on her step stool to get the dishes. Rachel was used to having to step up on a stool to get things. She was also a woman who wore tall shoes. Rachel started setting the table. “You can’t think that way. That this is your fault. You know that.” Rachel still knew that he had to hear it out loud.

It felt good to hear Rachel say that, even if he knew that she was right. Kurt drained the noodles to add the milk and cheese. “I know that you’re right. It’s just hard to believe that right now. I am so scared. I already lost half my family. I can’t lose anyone else.” Kurt and Burt had also been very close his whole life. They’d only had each other for a long time after Kurt’s mother had passed. Kurt started mixing up the mac and cheese. Kurt sighed, it was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever been through besides losing his mom and Finn. Not even what Tripp had put him through. Kurt sighed again. This was the worst news that he’d gotten in a long time. It was going to be a total shit situation. 

A couple of days later, Sam was at the local bar with his guitar. Blaine had talked him into going to open mic night. Sam was on the stage stage, practicing. He was going to be playing in a couple of hours after the bar opened for the night. Sam strummed his guitar, his hair falling over his forehead. He had been practicing at home, too, and he was still so nervous. He just hoped that it would go okay. Softly, he began to sing. 

_There’s only so many stars at night_  
That make up a milky way  
Oh and there ain’t more than 24 hours in a day 

_They say everything has a limit_  
Yeah that ain’t exactly true  
‘Cause there ain’t no limit in my heart  
Or the way that I feel about you 

_Hell even when the pyramids are gone_

_Yeah my love goes on and on and on  
And on and on and on and on_

_Yeah I know that we can’t spend every waking hour together_  
But I can hold you for tonight  
And I can love you forever 

It wasn’t his song, it was a Chris Cagle cover, but it was something that he was going to dedicate to Blaine. Who thankfully could come because Jeremy was watching the kids. Since he wasn’t old enough to come to the show. Sarah was 18, and she could get in if not drink, but she claimed to have a date. Sam wasn’t sure that he believed it, but something was going on with her. That was his last song, so he moved to get off the stage, his cowboy boots hitting the floor. When he moved to put his guitar in the case, someone whistled. Surprised, he looked up. It was a blonde girl that he thought might be named Brittany. He thought he’d seen her around town with this hot Latina and sometimes Quinn. Sam straightened and set his green eyes on her. “Can I help you?” Sam asked. She was very gorgeous, and he was fairly certain that she was dating the Latina girl. Not that Sam spent much time noticing stuff like that when he had Blaine. He slung his guitar over his shoulder, he had a strap. He wondered briefly if she was flirting. Everyone knew he was married to Blaine.

Eying him, Brittany gave him a smile. “I just heard you playing. You’re Sam Evans, right? I am such a fan. I listen to your album all the time.” Brittany was a waitress here, she wasn’t really proud of it but she had to do a job. Brittany had wanted to be a dancer. If it weren’t for Santana, she’d probably be a stripper. She understood that it would upset her girlfriend if other people saw her naked. She knew she’d get more money as a stripper was all. She brushed some of her hair behind her ear. “I know that you’re newly married. Everyone does.” Brittany didn’t want to go into all the gossip that she’d heard. It wasn’t true most likely as it was. Biting her lip, she watched his face. “So, I wanted to ask you something. Would you be willing to play a party? It’s my girlfriend’s birthday in a couple of weeks, and I am throwing her a surprise party.” Brittany had a suspicion that Santana was going to figure it out though, this town was too small. She was still going to try. She loved Santana so very much. She was also Brittany’s best friend. She had gotten a ring, she was going to propose. Things had been going so well. Brittany saw Sam’s eyes light up, and she was sure he was going to say yes.

“I would love to play a party. It’s going to be a bit hard to plan songs for that long, but I’d love to do it.” Sam said, his tone eager. He offered his hand for her to shake. “I’m Sam Evans-Anderson now, you’re right, I got married.” Sam loved saying that to people. He loved getting to brag about being married to Blaine. “It’s really so great to have a party gig. How much money are we talking about? Not that it matters, I’m just glad to be playing again. My husband’s been very supportive.” Sam wondered if this was going to lead to a big comeback for him, and he wondered if he even wanted that. 

Brittany shook his hand when he offered it. “I’m Brittany S. Pierce. It’s really so great to meet you. You are so talented. And I don’t have a lot for this party at all, really, so it pays $200 bucks. It’s all I can afford.” She’d been saving for the party for six months. Almost seven. It wasn’t going to be that fancy. Not that Santana would care. She knew the other girl was just going to be grateful for the party. Plus, it was BYOB. She couldn’t provide it for everyone. She wished that she could. “I hope that’s okay. And you don’t have to play the whole time. It’s just…. We’re both huge fans, and I know it’s going to make her so very happy.”

A smile spread over his face. That was more than he’d expected already. “No, that’s great. When is the party exactly? So I know how long I have to practice.” He pulled out a business card, Blaine had made him get them. He really did believe that Sam could make it if it he tried. It was one of the reasons that Sam loved him so much. “You can call me if you need to tell me anything else. I am so glad to have a gig, really. I am already thinking about what songs that I should play. Been working on some new things, actually.” Most of it was about his gorgeous, gorgeous husband. Sam had so much to write about now. He was so very happy, and Beth loved him as much as he loved her. It helped that she was under five. Kids under that age were easier to win over. Sam smiled at her as she took the card. “I am so very flattered that you’re both fans. I love meeting fans. I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere at all without fans.” He knew that talent could only get you so far in show business. Sam knew he’d been so lucky to get anything at all, and he was grateful for what he did have. But that’s how he’d been raised, honestly. He was grateful, period. 

A blush covered her cheeks. “It’s going to be so great.” Brittany told him when the party was, and tucked his card in her shorts pocket. She was so excited. She hadn’t actually believed that he would do it. Brittany spoke with him a bit more and then she had to go. She was off today, she had just heard that Sam was going to open mic night and she hadn’t wanted to waste an opportunity. She stepped out into the sunshine, feeling good. She had managed to get someone great to play Santana’s birthday party. Brittany was very proud of herself. She couldn’t help it, she clapped her hands excitedly. 

That evening Puck came home to a house with just his sister. She looked upset about something. He went straight for the fridge, to get out a beer. She was going to be late for Sam’s gig if he stopped to engage her. He knew that Aimee was next door at Blaine and Sam’s, Jeremy was babysitting. Puck wasn’t sure what to think of Sarah, but that Jeremy kid was great. He was so much like Blaine, it was kind of hilarious. Since they hadn’t grown up together, that was. Puck leaned against the doorframe to the living room, where Sarah was holed up. He cracked open his door, he’d only have one before he took off. Puck didn’t drive drunk. In fact, if he had more than one drink, he made sure he got someone to take him home.

Looking up at Puck, Sarah’s blue eyes took him in. She liked Blaine, jury was out on whether or not she liked Noah. The jury was still out because she wasn’t sure if he really was the person that he seemed to be. Sarah had been hearing stories while on the rez about him just about everywhere she went. Sarah knew that that many people couldn’t be lying. Sarah let her hand brush through her long brunette hair. “What are you doing? You’re going to be late to Sam’s gig.” Sarah didn’t know if she liked Sam, either. However, Sarah had a huge crush on her new sister in law that had to end. 

“You don’t like me, do you?” Puck just decided to go for it and ask what the truth was. “I mean, you don’t have to, no one’s making you. I just don’t want us to lose out because of old stories that I know you’ve been hearing around the rez.” Puck brushed a hand over his closely shaved head. “You can get what you put into this sibling relationship. And if you think that your crush on my wife is a secret, it’s not. She’s not aware, but Blaine and I are. Probably Sammy too. Blaine doesn’t keep things from Sam usually.” His tone was mostly on the neutral side, but he also had a bit of a bite in it.

All of that was a surprise to her. Sarah hadn’t expected him to just dive right in like that. She should be embarrassed that he knew about her crush on Olivia, but he didn’t. Sarah didn’t get embarrassed easily. She folded her arms tightly and met his hazel eyes with her blue ones. That’s what she loved about Olivia, she had that gorgeous Native American skin and black hair, but her eyes were so very blue. They reminded her of sapphires. She was trying to formulate what she was going to say in response to what he said. “Look, Noah, I’m a bitch. A complete and total bitch. I was raised by a homophobic woman and kicked out when I turned 18.” This was new information, and his mouth dropped open. “But even if I was a big enough bitch to try and steal your wife, which, if you weren’t my brother, I would be, she only has eyes for you. She’s a Noaholic, and that’s sweet. As much as I think she’s smokin’ hot, and I do, she’s only yours. You are who she wants, and that’s fine. I never go long without pussy.” This she saw put a small smile on her brother’s face. Sarah couldn’t help but let a smile play at her lips as well. “I’m trying to get to know all three of you. I know you know that I can’t stand Jacob. I don’t know how someone can still be bigoted on the 21st century. It’s appalling.”

The fact that Sarah went after other people’s wives didn’t shock him like it should. She was a Puckerman. Puck was glad that he had an actual relationship with someone who felt the same way that he did. Puck had never expected that he would have that. He’d been of the mind that he wasn’t good enough to be someone’s old man. But he really was, and he loved it. Puck loved being married. He loved having someone to come home to. She was the best thing to ever happen to him. Puck took another sip of his beer. He hoped his brother in law would be accepting of him being late. “I don’t condone having affairs, at least, anymore, but as long as you don’t go after Olivia. She’s truly the best thing to ever happen to me. Look, it’s not that I don’t want to talk, but I really do need to go, as you yourself pointed out. But if you want to talk more when I get back, or tomorrow, it’s okay with me. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me. We are siblings.” Puck drained his beer and threw it away. “If you go out, let Jeremy know. He can keep an eye on the house from Blaine’s.” The houses were in sight of each other, and Puck actually was glad about that. They had a few more neighbors close by but it was a five minute drive. They lived on the outskirts of the reservation. 

“I don’t think I’m going to go out. There was this girl I almost hooked up with but we sort of had a fight. I want to patch it up but I’m trying to get her some space. She’s the one who got mad and I don’t want to push her into anything. She’s so great.” Sarah was quiet as he picked up his keys and headed out. Sarah flipped on the tv, trying to not think about the girl she’d just told her older brother about. Sarah glanced out the window, it had started to drizzle a bit. She loved when it rained. Sarah decided to check the movie channels to find a horror movie. She honestly was so upset that she was missing Sam’s playing. He truly was so talented. It was great that Blaine had gotten him to start playing again. 

After Sam’s set, he and Blaine were in the bathroom, kissing madly against the stall wall. They hadn’t had sex in a public place yet and they were both very eager. Sam was fumbling with Blaine’s belt on his jeans. Blaine’s hands were working on Sam’s as well. They weren’t going to disrobe completely. Just enough so they could bang. Sam didn’t want to have to be naked and get dressed if they were caught. Sam worked Blaine out of his boxer briefs, and Sam licked two of his fingers and eased them softly inside Blaine. They didn’t have any lube on hand. Blaine gasped and clenched around his husband’s fingers. Sam kissed Blaine’s collarbone as he finger fucked him, he didn’t want to hurt Blaine. 

Blaine groaned softly, and his hand moved to stroke Sam’s length, he wanted his husband to be as turned on as possible, that huge cock he wanted inside him. Blaine leaned to whisper in Sam’s ear. “I’m ready for you, Sammy.” Using pre-cum from Blaine’s cock as lube, which Blaine thought was incredibly sexy, Sam slid his rock hard cock into Blaine, who cried out and his hands scratched at Sam’s back, his hands were up underneath Sam’s Bon Jovi shirt. He’d been so turned on since he’d heard Sam singing. Especially since the new material Sam had unveiled was all about Blaine. Blaine shivered, as his hand moved over his cock, trying to match his husband’s hip movements. They were both groaning and looking into each other’s eyes. Those gorgeous green emerald eyes would be Blaine’s undoing. They were gorgeous. Blaine was taken by surprise when Sam’s member slid even further inside, and Sam leaned to kiss him as his hips picked up speed. They were both nearing orgasms. Blaine’s breath was short as he pushed on Sam’s hips, trying to get him in further even though he was in as far as he could go. Blaine’s fingers dug into Sam’s hips, both of them gasping and panting with desire. Sam came then, his lips moving over Blaine’s collarbone. 

A couple more strokes, and Blaine was coming as well, and Sam moved to wipe the cum off their bare stomachs, hoping that they hadn’t gotten any on clothes that were going to be seen by people. Sam looked into Blaine’s sex blown pupils, and he smiled. They were working on putting themselves back together. Sam looked into Blaine’s hazel eyes. “You are the most amazing sex I’ve ever had.” Sam told him in his soft Southern drawl. He leaned to press Blaine against the stall wall and kissed him softly. It was a post coital bliss. They just stood there for a moment, staring into each other’s eyes. Sam brushed his long fingers through Blaine’s curls, enjoying the softness. Blaine took wonderful care of his curls. They were hitting his collarbone, and Sam loved that. “You…. did you like the songs? The new ones were all about you.” The one he had closed his set with he had sung directly to Blaine. The entire room had felt completely empty to Sam as he’d been strumming around his guitar and sitting on that stool. He had loved being out there, singing to the whole town how much he loved Blaine and their family. He hoped that nothing was ever going to tear them apart. He loved Blaine more than he had loved anyone in his whole entire life. Kissing him, Sam said, “I’m going to go and see if anyone wants signed autographs, you know.”

After assuring Sam he loved the whole set, Blaine used the bathroom. When he came out he looked into the eyes of the man who had tortured and raped him. Blaine’s eyes brushed with tears and he froze. He couldn’t speak, his mouth worked soundlessly. He knew that he shouldn’t be showing his fear. He couldn’t help it. “Please. I’m married now.” Despite his body telling him not to, he held up his left hand, showing him the wedding ring that sat there. “How… you were in jail in the state pen… how did you get out?” Blaine’s voice wasn’t as strong s he would have liked. When he heard that the man had broken out that very night, Blaine’s knees were having a hard time not wobbling. Before he could move to get away, the man had grabbed him and was dragging him out of the bathroom, and then the bar, not letting Blaine cry out to anyone. Blaine couldn’t believe this was happening again. Out he was led to a van, and he tied Blaine up and then off they went down the road. Thankfully for the man, it hadn’t occurred to him that Blaine had a cell phone. Once they realized he was gone, they could follow GPS. Blaine tried to take deep breaths, stop having a panic attack, that wasn’t going to help anything. He would get out of this, he was sure of it. This time they’d find him faster. Plus he’d done his best to leave prints on the way out. 

When fifteen minutes had passed, and no sight of his husband had happened, Sam was starting to get upset. So was Puck and Olivia. No one else had been able to get the time to go. Sam called the police, he saw some struggle signs, he’d been dragged from the bathroom. And there was some mud, Sam was sure this meant Blaine had been kidnapped again. A quick Google search, and Sam was calling the cops. They were more of the mind to help when Sam told them what had happened. Sam knew they were going to follow the GPS on Blaine’s phone, and they’d catch this guy. That was what he was trying to tell himself as they waited for the cops to come and check the scene. Still, his green eyes were full of tears and he was shaking he was so scared. Sam watched as the bar emptied out, and he knew it was going to be all over town by the morning. Tears dripped out of his eyes, and Liv touched his shoulder, trying to give him a bit of comfort. Sam’s mouth moved soundlessly, and his green eyes met Puck’s hazel ones. They both looked incredibly worried. When Sam saw that look on Puck’s face, he just full on started crying. He let Olivia hug him, and he had to admit he was deathly afraid of what was going to happen with Blaine before they found them. The cops were there then, interrogating them, and putting a track on Blaine’s cell. They assured Sam they’d find Blaine. 

It took a couple of hours, but Blaine was saved by the Raleigh cops. Blaine did his best to answer their questions. The man had managed to rape him twice before Blaine was able to fight him off. The best part was that that horrible man was dead. When the cops had arrived, Blaine had been fighting him off and when the cops told him they were there, he had tried to run. They hadn’t gotten far from Raleigh, so they were about five minutes away from the reservation. Blaine was shaking, and he knew that Sam was waiting at Puck and Olivia’s for him. Blaine felt so much relief when he saw his brothers and his own house came into view. He would have run straight up to his brother’s house, but he was still shaking in shock. The cop who’d helped him continued to help him up to the door. As soon as the door was flown open, Sam reached out for Blaine, who didn’t hesitate, he let Sam pull him inside as Olivia spoke to the cop. Sam pressed a kiss to Blaine’s lips, and Blaine could feel the tears falling off his chin. Blaine finally spoke. “Sammy…. It was so very awful…. But he’s dead. He can’t hurt me anymore.” Blaine was a bit in awe, he was just so glad it was over. Even if he had had to be raped again. 

They settled on the couch, and Sam put his arms around Blaine. “I love you. I’m so sorry that this happened to you. But I’m glad that you’re safe from him forever. I truly truly am. What do you need? What can I do? Tell me, and I’ll do it. I don’t want you to be hurt anymore.” Tears had filled Sam’s eyes. He was so angry that this had happened to Blaine again. He pulled back enough so he could look into his husband’s eyes. Blaine’s lip was trembling. He looked like he was about to full on cry. Sam brushed a few tears off Blaine’s cheek. “I am…. I am so sorry that I let this happen.”

“No! Please, Sammy. I’m not angry at you. This isn’t your fault. He cornered me when I was alone. It’s what sexual predators do.” Blaine wasn’t angry at him at all. Sam had done the best thing that he could have done, he’d rescued Blaine from the man. And now the man was dead. Blaine was never going to see Sandy Ryerson ever again, and he was so grateful for that he couldn’t put it into words. “I love you so much, Sam. You did all you could to get me home. I don’t….” Blaine was still in shock. He wished that he could put feelings into words. He wasn’t sure what the ramifications were going to be from the rape this time. It hadn’t been so bad, Blaine had been able to fight back. He didn’t feel like it had really been so horrible. 

Brushing tears off his own cheeks, Sam brushed his hand along Blaine’s arm. “I promise, you’ll never get hurt like that again. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Sam knew that his good news about getting a record deal wasn’t the way they were going to remember this night. He wished that it was. Leaning out, he kissed Blaine softly. “Can…. can I tell you a bit of good news? Or are you still too upset?” Sam wanted to tell Blaine the good news but he also wanted to make sure that Blaine didn’t get anymore upset than he already was. Sam kept up his soft stroking. 

Leaning out, Blaine ran his hand through Sam’s long blonde locks. “You can tell me anything, Sammy. This was a horrible thing…. But it’s all over. For good. He’s gone. Can’t hurt me anymore. And I fought back. He…. managed to violate me but only barely. I fought him off. I feel…. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. I mean…. I can’t promise I won’t have any freakouts but you can tell me your good news, Sammy. I’m not going to break this time. You tell me. Make this day a good one.” Blaine was meaning all the words he was saying. That was making him feel so much better. He wanted to hear his husband’s good news.

Staring into those hazel eyes, Sam finally decided that Blaine really did mean what he said. Not that he thought Blaine was a liar. But he also knew that Blaine was going to do his best to keep some of his real feelings to himself in order to not worry Sam. Taking a deep breath, Sam took his husband’s hands and said, “Blaine, you were totally right in making me go to open mic night. There was a record exec there, and he thinks that he can help me make a comeback.” Sam wasn’t able to keep his smile and his excitement off his face. Sam was so happy that he was going to be able to do singing again as a career.

His eyes lit up. “Oh, Sammy!” He said, giving him a huge kiss as Olivia and Puck came into the room. Sarah was asleep in the guest bedroom that had used to be Blaine’s. It was where she was sleeping when she didn’t spend the night at Blaine and Sam’s. Blaine pulled back as they came in. “Did Sammy tell you? He got a new record deal?!” He was so happy for him, and he couldn’t talk about what had happened, as much as he was glad it was all over for good. Blaine was bursting at the seams proud of Sam. “I am so glad I pushed you.” It hadn’t been so hard, but he had made sure to impress upon Sam how easy it would be to go to open mic night and play. He gave them a pleading look to go with it.

“Yeah, honey, he told us.” Olivia told him, setting down a couple of pizzas, drinks, and paper plates. She knew that Blaine needed them to talk about Sam’s news. She could get that. She’d been attacked herself in junior high so she knew that he would understand she knew how Blaine felt. This thing had to be some weight lifted off his chest though, since the man was dead. She was glad the man was dead. He should have gotten the death penalty when he was sentenced in her opinion. Olivia picked up a pineapple and ham slice of pizza and took a bite. “We’re so happy for him, B.”

This was ridiculous. Puck reached for some pizza, he’d already cracked open a bottle of Jack to mix with Coke. He knew that this was insane, they couldn’t really be ignoring what had happened to Blaine to talk about Sam’s record deal? He wasn’t sure that he could get through this without talking about what really happened. He slugged down a cup of just Jack before he mixed in some Coke. If they were really going to do this, he was going to need to be drunk. “Are we being stupid or not? Seriously? It’s great that Sam’s got a record deal…. But Squirt, look at what happened to you! There’s no way we can just ignore it.”

While Blaine got where his brother was coming from, that didn’t mean that he could talk about all of this. “Noah, I know that you need to handle it your way. I know that. But this happened to me, not you. And this is how I have to do it. I can’t…. I can’t process this right now. I need to focus on Sam’s good news.” Blaine’s voice was shaking as he spoke. He knew that Puck was just trying to help. He knew that. But he also couldn’t do this the way his older brother wanted him to do this. “I can’t… it’s just too much to handle.” Blaine’s voice wobbled, and he saw the look of guilt on his brother’s face. “Don’t feel guilty, Noah.”

Now he felt like shit. He really hated that he had gotten Blaine so upset. Puck took some more chugs of the Jack bottle. “I’m sorry, B. You know that I don’t want to hurt you.” Puck felt so guilty, even if Blaine had told him not to. He met those hazel eyes and he could see the pain in them. Puck wished he could do something more than he was doing. He then met his wife’s eye, and he wished the dog wasn’t over at Blaine’s too. Aimee had insisted, she loved Daisy. Puck knew how much Livvy relied on that dog for support. He hated that she had to lean on the dog like that. Puck also knew that that was what she chose. She talked to him about things but not as often.

A couple of hours later, Blaine and Sam were tucked into their bed. Jeremy was up watching Netflix. Blaine was more than a little drunk. He opened the book he was reading as Sam moved to take a shower. He wasn’t drunk. Blaine had put a bucket next to the bed just in case he had to throw up. He was naked as usual, although he had to admit he wasn’t sure that he wanted to be. And give Sam a look at his body, there were a few cuts and scars, and while he’d seen them before, there were fresh ones. Blaine just couldn’t get up the energy to go and put on some pjs. Blaine’s eyes filled with tears, they were falling down his face. He reached for some tissues, and tried to wipe his eyes. He just couldn’t stop crying. He couldn’t figure out why, this whole thing was over. Sandy Ryerson was dead, and Blaine didn’t have to live in fear of him any longer. His shoulders shook, and he tried to stop the flow of tears. Blaine tossed the used tissues on the floor, and Sam came in, looking so fucking sexy in just a towel and his long blonde hair falling to his shoulders. Blaine sniffled, but the tears wouldn’t stop coming. Sam moved to him, and wrapped his arms around Blaine’s tiny shoulders, whispering that it was going to be okay.

“Blaine, baby, it’s okay.” Sam said, stroking Blaine’s back. There were scars, yes, but Sam didn’t care. They were what made Blaine who he was, and Sam loved his husband more than anyone in this world, except for his baby siblings. Sam kissed his forehead. As he held Blaine and spoke to him, Blaine’s tears seemed to dry up. Sam ran his hands along the scars on Blaine’s back softly and gingerly. Sam thought Blaine might need an ego boost. “You’re a gorgeous man, baby. You know I don’t care about these scars and cuts. You need me to change any of the dressings? I asked the EMTs to show me how. I promise it won’t hurt a lot.” Sam reached up and brushed more tears off B’s face. “You are just… you take my breath away. I’m not… I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to pressure you or anything. I just am trying to make you feel better.” He looked into Blaine’s gorgeous hazel eyes. They were wide and wet but he didn’t look angry. “I’m… I know it’s not my fault, but I am so sorry that this happened. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again. I promise. You don’t deserve to have something like this happen to you.” Sam knew he was going to have to repent with God because he was glad that this guy was dead. Sam wished he’d gotten to tell the guy off beforehand but it didn’t matter. The guy had gotten what he’d deserved. Sam waited patiently for Blaine to say something about his dressings.

He knew that Sam wasn’t trying to put any pressure on him. “I love you, Sammy. You are the best thing to ever happen to me, besides Beth. I know you aren’t trying to get me to do anything in particular. And my dressings are fine. We can change them tomorrow.” Blaine’s words were a bit slurred. He felt much better now that Sam was trying to take care of him. He brushed a hand through Sam’s wet blonde locks. He loved playing with them, when he was upset. Blaine sighed about what Sam had said about his scars. “I love you, and I know that you find me sexy. I love you so much for that. No one…. I’ve always been too afraid to let anyone see. Kurt…. That was, the one good thing, that he didn’t hold my scars against me.” Blaine thought they were the ugliest part about him, and they covered most of his back. They’d told him they couldn’t be removed without a lot of cosmetic surgery. Blaine didn’t have the money for that. He looked into those green eyes that he loved so much. Blaine was starting to feel sober. Blaine brushed his hand through his own unruly curls and leaned against his husband’s chest. He tried to slow his breathing. Blaine just wanted to be with his husband and do his best to sleep.

“Just get some sleep, baby.” Sam said softly, and wished that he could at least get on some underwear. He was able to slip carefully out from underneath Blaine as he drifted off to sleep. Sam picked up the novel Blaine was reading and set it back on the bedside table. He pulled out some of Blaine’s boxer briefs and pulled them on. He loved wearing Blaine’s underwear. It was so sexy to think that he was wearing a garment that touched Blaine’s manhood. Which was incredibly impressive. Sam moved around the bedroom, straightening up before he got back into bed. Sam watched Blaine sleep, his thumb in his mouth. Sam had tried to break him of it, just because it was bad for your teeth, but it seemed to be hardwired in Blaine. Sam had to admit, it was adorable. He just wanted to protect B’s teeth. Sam felt so much anger that this guy had gotten to Blaine one last time. Blaine had finally started to move on with his life and be happy. He didn’t deserve this. Not that he had in the first place. Sam really had a lot to repent for about this guy. Because he was ecstatic that he was dead and there was no way that he was going to heaven and Sam was glad about that as well. Sam knew that no matter how much he asked God for forgiveness he wasn’t ever going to stop feeling happy about it though. Sam was going to have to try really hard to get past it. 

A couple of days later, Blaine and Olivia were grabbing lunch at Luke’s. Quinn had Beth, and Sam and Puck had taken Aimee and the twins to the public pool. Blaine had had to deal with sympathetic looks for two days. And he knew everyone was talking about him. He knew that at least none of it was bad. Blaine was doing his best to ignore all the looks he’d been getting. Blaine was going to have a huge bacon cheeseburger and chili cheese fries. He also wanted strawberry milkshakes. Blaine was glad they didn’t have to pay, he was going to stuff his face as much as he could.

Olivia glared at a few of the people that were staring at them. They thankfully looked away. She was dying to ask Blaine how he was doing since Ryerson had died and all of that had gone down. She knew though that he most likely wouldn’t want to talk about it. Not that she blamed him. Olivia was just so angry that this had happened. Although it was just so amazing that Ryerson was gone and couldn’t hurt Blaine anymore. That was the silver lining of this whole thing. Olivia didn’t have the same religious affiliations that Sam did, and so she didn’t feel guilty for feeling glad about it. She got up to go and see if Luke was working, or if he was with her mom.

Luckily, they were both at the counter. Olivia looked into her father’s eyes. He seemed to be upset, and she knew it was more than just Blaine. “Dad? Are you okay?” She wondered if her mom had told him about the new baby. Olivia was glad for her mom. She knew how much her mother had wanted more kids, and especially with Luke. Olivia tucked some of her long black hair behind her ear as she looked at him. He seemed flustered about something as well. Olivia met Caesar’s eye, and he moved to go into the tiny kitchen. “Okay, Caesar’s gone, you can tell me what’s going on.” She knew that he wouldn’t tell the truth in front of him.

Taking a deep breath, Luke said, “I know about the baby. I just… it’s still sinking in, I guess.” He met his daughter’s eye. “I am not going to leave your mother. You know how much I love her. I’m just nervous, you know I’m still adjusting to the idea of kids.” Luke was scared to death. He was great with Olivia, but he hadn’t raised Olivia since she was a baby. This was going to be like starting from scratch. Luke adjusted his ballcap. “You know that I love you, and I consider you my own kid. I don’t want you to think that I don’t.” Luke was doubting his abilities as a father, and he knew that even without fishing for compliments that Olivia was going to reassure him.

“Dad, you’re going to be fine. You have been a great dad to me. You can do this.” Before she could say anything else, there was a hush in the diner, and they all turned around to see what was going on. It was Quinn, and she was holding Beth. She cleared her throat, and then Olivia’s heart broke when Quinn told Blaine that she had to go to Lima with Rachel because Burt Hummel had passed away. As much as Olivia hated Kurt, she knew that this was going to be incredibly hard for Kurt. And she’d met Burt once, he had been a lovely man. It truly wasn’t fair. At all. 

_Every now and then, some little thing_  
I’ve buried comes bubblin’ up  
And once in awhile, you feel close enough to touch 

_I miss you a little_  
Since you’ve been gone  
A few little memories keep hanging on  
I miss you a little  
I miss you a little   
I guess you could say a little too much  
A little too often  
A little more every day 

_When I go by our old house_  
I pretend that you’re still there  
Waitin’ for me on the porch  
But there’s just an empty chair 

_Wish I could see you_  
Just one more time  
Before I drive away  
So I could stop and go inside and say 

_I miss you a little_

 

_**Author’s note: Sorry it’s been awhile. But sometimes that’s just how it goes. I’m sorry that that was so angsty. I didn’t see that coming. I pretty much never plan the angst. Very rarely. I hope ya’ll are hanging in, this story has taken me so many different places. By the way, Jeremy’s PB is Tyler Posey, because I love him and I kind of really wants him and Darren to play brothers. I am in the process of creating an O’Brien OC and he’ll be hooked up with Jeremy most likely. I hope ya’ll feel compelled to leave a review, but if not it’s still going to keep coming. Been in a Blam mood lately. And in a writing in a notebook mood. This is one of those fics that’s in a notebook. I’ll try not to let it go so long next time. Oh, and by the way, I’m not going to respond to people complaining about content. I put the proper warnings on, and no one is asking you to read it. I’m not going to try and please everyone. And people seem to forget without fic writers fanfic wouldn’t exist. That needs to be reiterated and remembered more often.** _


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